Fun things to do if you can get to a walmart phone

in a calm voice, announce a code brown.

 

What's a code brown?

 

Stop corporate greed!

 

[as if you're reading a letter and the tannoy is accidentally on]

'Swine flu in Walmart? shit.'

 

DAMN, you're GOOD!!!

 

bomb threat

 

Ty. *takes bow*

Ah okay.

Woah.

 

Would the fat woman please come to the customer services area.

 

code white is medical emergency (code white on 99 wall)

don't remember what a code black is, but it gets the store evacuated, you don't want to be seen on camera doing these things, so your best case scenario is dropping a radio phone jack onto it.

 

oh noez..

 

"Atchoo!!"

[then as if to someone on the side]

"Swine Flu? Nah, I only eat Walmart Pork."

 

Would the women that gave birth in aisle 10 once again please leave the store.

 

You flippin' GNARLY BASTER ~

i'm the fat lady...




p.s. Now i have to hate you.

 

Ummm?...

Into WHAT, exactly?

 

crackle.. crackle .. "officer down!!! officer down!!! 21st and Broadway, need a ambulance and backup now my badge # is "6*******crackle **5** crackle..hurr" crackle...

 

*climax and orgasm sounds*

Oooh yeah, Ohh! Ohhh! Ahh, ah, oohh...

*whimpers*

 

Attention shoppers would the owners of possibly Red 2 door cars please come to the front of the store theres one fire in the parking lot..

 

"The next 100 customers to the cashier will receive 100% discounts."

Get on something tall to avoid the stampede.

 

When shopping at Wal-Mart you always get the lowest prices, and that's because we're committed to paying our employees the lowest prices too!

 

Because of you, we make more money than your government. Thank you for choosing Wal-Mart.