A few tips from Team Homo

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Vanilla Gorilla, Jun 24, 2009.

  1. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    Thought I might offer some pearls of wisdom given the confusion I see in some threads in this forum. Take what you want from this, throw the rest out and continue in the denial if you disagree.


    Guys:
    1. Penis size - means nothing if it only last 30 seconds
    2. For the girls with daddies issues, your height is most important, then its like they are 5 getting hugs from daddy
    3. For the girls with high libido, then its your abs, how many times you can thrust that pelvis per second
    4. Half the time they pick a fight with you its to get you angry, which then gets them horny. The other half of the time its cos you are a jerk
    5. Guys that can get wipped to easily are the most unsexy thing, you might as well just go to John Hopkins and get them to fashion you a vagina
    6. After a couple years of sexual experience the pretty boys get dumped for the beefiest guys they can find
    7. Dont ever make fun of fat or ugly girls in front of them, cos they'll just worry what happens when they get fat and/or ugly
    8. Most of them dont let you do anal cos they think its going to turn you gay
    9. They think all guys are capable of sticking it anywhere
    10. When it comes to matters of a sexual nature, they never tell you the truth

    Gals:
    1. The bigger your boobs, the more likely to attract the mommies boys (the sooky ones) on the flip side, A cups are more likely to attract bi guys. Its a balancing act
    2. Too much makeup just screams insecurities
    3. Tiger eyes, heavy eye shadow just says to them your out to get laid, even if thats not your intention.
    4. The third date rule? If you can resist him on the first date, is he really worth it?
    5. Short hair on older women is about split ends, short hair on younger women just attracts the bi guys
    6. No use looking great if you have no interest in Footy, Nascar or Video games
    7. The guys, they never grow up.....no...not one of them....no....no....no...not your dad, not the CEO of Chrysler, not even the ones on the supreme court, not one of them
    8. He's not that into you - soemtimes means he knows he's not going to last more than 2 minutes, like ever. Sometimes it means he thinks about sex toooo much around you
    9. From 25 onwards with most of them the libido starts to die, they will never tell you, but still act like a sexist pig so it seems they are still virile
    10. When it comes to matters of a sexual nature, they never tell you the truth
     
  2. Turn

    Turn Member

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    This was supposed to be funny......right?.....
     
  3. rollingalong

    rollingalong Banned

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    except its not...right?
     
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