first time anal sex help!!

I suguested anal sex to my girl friend a month or so ago and in that time ive used my index finger in her ass when we have vangial sex. We've also puchashed a medium sized butt plug for play. But whenever I try to stimulate her that way she says its uncomfortablr and I stop.

Is there a way that she could enjoy anal play more, something that im not doing that coud make it better?

 

maybe shes not into it? dont push it..

my bf suggested it..
did it for him.
dont like it much, and feel weird about it.

 

Use your tongue, I don't think there is anyway the tongue can be uncomfortable for her.

The tongue is soft and wet, which is perfect for the butt. Eat her ass out, get her nice and relaxed before you move to the butt plug. Relaxation is the key to good anal.

As far as butt plugs, I don't know why you got a medium sized one if your girl is an anal novice.

Beginner butt plugs are for beginners, so get a beginner butt plug which should be the smallest size.

You may have to just accept your girl may not be into anal.

 

Famous last words

 

sooooo wrong, holy crap. So many people on here have suggested that my bf does that to make me relax...hell no. Thats so weird. I dont know, the idea of licking somewhere that just seems so NOT sexy isnt cool. Maybe her buttcheeks, but asscrack licking..bah.

 

It is said often because it works often. Most women find it arousing by itself, a marked orgasm enhancer when used with other techniques of clitoral/g-spot stimulation, and it accomplishes the relaxing/warming up perfectly.

Have you tried it? I know, its gross, not a sexy place, etc. But have you tried it? I suggested anal to my GF in 1996 and she shut me down hard. Never going to happen, dont even go near it with anything. Forget that it exists.

9 years later on our honeymoon, I put my tongue in it anyway, and she freaking LOVED it. It opened us up to the whole world of anal play after 9 years of "never going to happen".

And to the OP - what I did was put my tongue in there while she just about to come from cunnilingus, I switch my tongue on her clit for my thumb, put my tongue in her ass and gave her an amazing orgasm. She asked why I did it, I said you know, I have always desired your beautiful cinammon ring, I got carried away and had to put my tongue in it. Then I dropped it, and the idea got in HER head - hey playing with my ass was very pleasureable and fun, not nasty and icky like I have though for so many years. hmmmm.

Shortly thereafer, one time we were going at it all slow and deep, you know, talking dirty, just really getting into it, and she said "OMG I want you in my ass!" We tried for awhile but it didnt work. It made me go looking into how to do it right however, and now we enjoy anal play on a fairly frequent basis.

Analingus and a variety of sizes of buttplugs are key factors in this success. As is generous amounts of good quality water based lubes.

:cheers2:

 

Don't knock until you try it. And like kama said, it works like a charm. Go ahead and reinvent the wheel if you want to, but anulingus has a high success rate with anal, ask any guy who fucks his girl in the ass. Trust me, it doesn't taste like shit or anything gross. It seems like it would taste bad, I too was apprehensive about rimming. But when I finally maned up and did it, it made having anal SOOOO much easier, because she was more relaxed and excited, penetration was much smoother and faster and most importantly PAIN-FREE!

And it's not gross, I love doing it, it's fun, as long as she takes a pre-sex shower. It drives my girl wild when I do it. She has her hardest orgasms when she rubs her clit and I fuck or eat her ass. I love eating my girls ass. I admit I have a bit of a fetish for nice butts, and my wife has a nice big butt.

I love it when she smothers me with her ass when I eat her butt. I love putting my face in between her cheeks and kinda pressing them against my face when I stick my in her butt hole. It's so much fun.

 

your penis could probably be bigger

 

ah maybe you two are right, weve done the anal thing and initial penetration hurts like a bitch.
and i think my boyfriend is open to the ass to mouth thing..but only on his end because he keeps trying to sneak a lick in while giving me oral lol.

since he obviously has no problem..should i ask him to before anal?

 

ask if she's cool with trying again,
this time use a small plug but don't use it til you've already got her worked up. oral if she likes it, get everything nice and wet and slippery and start sloooow. she might just need to be worked up to it. it really can't be rushed w/most chicks. also to help her relax, rub her back and ass while you're starting with her. you don't want any tension.
good luck eace:

 

I personally am anal retentive. (I like it alot). Before we were married, my wife had only tried it once and says that it wasn't pretty. But after a lot of patience and slow going, she now begs for it at lest once a month. You have to take your time, warm both her and the orifice. Use LOTS of lube, both inside and outside. Work it in good. Astroglide is our favorite because it doesnt dry as sticky as some of the others. I always start out by going down on her, sucking her clit. I slip two my index and middle finger into her pussy. Then once she is wet and writhing, I move to the "shocker" and slip my pinky into her ass. This goes untill at least one orgasm. Then I remove my hand and slip my middle finger into her ass, still licking and sucking her pussy and clit. Within a moment or two of that, I roll her onto her side, slip a butt plut in. We started with the smallest I could find and worked our way up. I advise using a graduated set of smooth, latex, anal beads. You can work up according to his or her comfort level. (that's right. If it's good for the goose, it's good for the gander. I love having my ass played with by my wife.)
Then after a few minutes and one or two orgasms, I remove the toy and SLOWLY and GENTLY work the head into her ass. This being the most difficult, aggravating, and painful part, I cannot stress enough how cautious one should be. Another good warm up idea before you enter her, is a smooth sided bullet vibe that is just smaller than your penis size.
Once you are inside, move only about an inch at a time. Let her muscles relax around you before you try to penetrate deeper. It usually takes at least ten minutes to get all ten inches inside of her ass. Then, slowly increase the pace to what works for both of you.
I also advise the double entry, dildo with built on cock rings. The rubber cock rings help you last forever and she gets it in both holes at once. We like that one alot!!!

 

As Duncan says take it really slowly and if she still isn't into it STOP there are loads of other ways to have fun

 

In my opinion both the vag and anus need to be properly stimulated to yield optimal pleasure for the girl. Women take a little longer to warm up than guys, so more attention needs to be paid towards them.

In my opinion, rimming could only help with the penetration. If he licks your ass and helps it get wet and warmed up, penetration will be MUCH easier. Anal sex should not hurt, your butt hurts upon penetration because you guys are doing it wrong.

The problem with the anus is the secondary sphincter. In the anal opening there are 2 bands of muscles, the exterior sphincter which is controlled voluntarily, and the secondary or inner sphincter that is involuntary. This involuntary muscle is necessary to keep gas and fecal matter from just falling out your butt.

This inner sphincter is what causes almost all the pain for anal penetration. This muscle needs to be coaxed into relaxing. And there are TONS of ways to do that, but anulingus is one of THE most effective ways. Unlike fingers which have sharp nails, the tongue is smooth, wet, and soft which is PERFECT for anal beginners as even fingers can be uncomfortable.

I am not saying fingering starting with the pinky finger wouldn't work, all I am saying is from my experience even fingers can be uncomfortable for some girls, I have NEVER heard of one girl that said that the tongue was uncomfortable for her.

Next time you are going to have sex and you want to try some anal, remember, cleanliness is next to Godliness so wash up really good. Use some anti-bacterial soap if you wish. If you want use an enema, but it's not 100% necessary. Just make sure you have a BM a few hours before anal.

Have him eat your vag, and in the heat of the moment, tell him to lick your ass or stick his tongue in your ass. I am pretty certain he will be turned on by this and will have no problem being face deep in your ass sending wave after wave of pleasure as his tongue explores every aspect of your ass while you rub your clit just the way you like it. If you can, have an orgasm while you rub your clit and he eats your ass. It's also a good idea for him to use some fingers in your vag to stimulate the g-spot. Nothing is more powerful than a full on anal, clitoral, g-spot orgasm for women. After you have an anal orgasm, and you see how good it is, you will be MUCH more interested in anal after experience the forbidden fruit. This interest will make you excited, and excited it EXACTLY what you need for good anal.

I would suggest that you even masturbate and play with your ass, get familiar with it. Familiarity removes fear, once the fear is gone tension is gone, and when tension is gone, pain is gone.

After my girl had her first anal orgasm, she was practically begging me to stick my dick in her ass, we had anal sex everyday for 1 month straight after she first anal orgasm.

After the tongue move the fingers or small toys. And finally towards full on penetration. I suggest that you control the penetration either by being on top and controlling the depth and speed, or if you're doing it doggy style have him line up his penis with your anus, and you back up on his penis. And above all things, don't forget the lube! If you're using condoms use water or silicone based lubes. For no condom I suggest oil based.

Don't worry about it being gross or something. As long as you wash your ass, it's quite fine. The mouth is the same way. Could you imagine giving your bf a nice hot deep french kiss with morning breath!? BLAH, that would be disgusting, just like it would be disgusting to rim an unwashed ass. As long as your butt is clean, it's all good. Trust me, he will love having your ass right in his face, most guys love to get up and close with woman's butts especially the ones that like anal.

 

you should try that for sure..my gf didnt think she would like me doing that but when she finally came around she absolutely loves me to like her ass and it defenately helps with anal

 

Yes, absolutely.

I cant add much to TripleAce's excellent post, but just yes - you will like it, I am sure. Dont rush it, get good and hot before you tell him to do it. I will assume a situation where he is giving you oral pleaure, focusing on your clit - have him move his tongue to your ass, while continuing to stimulate your clit with his hands, or you can take over, however you feel more comfortable - but only do this when you are getting close to orgasm.

It will take your orgasm up a few notches. If he then continues to warm you up with his tongue, your ass will be much more relaxed and pain free when the time comes to get down to it. Have him go slowly, and try different angles and movements. You can discover some areas of the internal clitoral tissue and possibly the posterior side of the anterior fornix (lol) that you didnt even know existed, and have some crazy orgasms from anal sex.

:cheers2:

 

Agreed!

:cheers2:

If you follow all this advice, I can't guarantee it will be a success, but it will definitely increase your chances of having a pleasurable anal experience.

One last thing. Since you do have voluntary control of the primary sphincter, I recommend that during the initial penetration that you push your anus out as if you were trying to void or pass gas.

It doesn't seem logical that you would push out to put something in, but, if you experiment in the shower, push out little bit, not too hard, and slip a finger in your ass, then do the same thing without pushing out, you will notice that it's MUCH easier to penetrate your ass if you kind of bear down and voluntarily push you anus a little bit upon penetration.

 

hmm, all makes sense, and will definitely try all of the above next time.
thanks for the advice guys

 

No problem. I just want you to have a great time. If it still doesn't work out, fuck it, at least you gave it an honest shot the right way. Anal is not for everybody, but done the right way, it can be a fit for the average couple who is interested in anal sex.

I think once you have your first pain free experience you will be more curious, and after you have your first anal orgasm, you will be hooked.

Good luck. Let us know how it works out.

 

pfft then your woman to man up.

and if thats doent work..then no need to push it on her..unless your really lubed up