I have a question for you guys

I'm not gay, but I've been wondering this for a while. . .

A gay guy (obviously) is attracted to men rather than women. I'm figuring this attraction would be more than a physical one. Thing is, most gay men I know are very close to their faminine side, not very manly at all. They pretty much act like women, but in a man's body...

The way it makes sense to me is that a gay man would ideally want a heterosexual man, because he acts like a "man" man... Now, I do understand that there are manly gay men, but is this a role that the person plays, where, he really is more feminine but acts manly to support the role of the "man" in the relationship, or is he really a "manly" gay man?

Or do I have it all wrong, where gay men don't look for manly characters and are perfectly happy with a feminine counterpart? But if a man with a feminine character likes another man with a feminine character, then doesn't it mean that being gay is more of a physical attraction to the male body than it is to the person's character?


if i confised the heck outta you, I'm sorry, lol... But I think my main question is:

Theoretically speaking, would a gay man be more attracted to another gay man, or would he rather be with a straight man who totally doesn't have the feminine character of a gay man?

 

Funny, i've been wondering that same question for a long time too...

I've often been called a 'manly' gay guy...or at least I usually get a lot of shocked faces and 'I had no idea' responses when I come out to people I meet. I personally am not physically attracted to feminine guys. Stereotypically masculine guys turn me on the most... not guys who remind me of girls...

Butttt, that's only the superficial physical attraction... I think you may be assuming that the "more than physical attraction' is irreparably intertwined with gender roles. To me, personality is unisex.

One of my good friends (a handsome, manly, buff, straight jock) turns me on in every physical way possible... but I have never had real feelings for him. He's got the sex appeal but lacks the mental/emotional/intellectual appeal.

So even if guy acts girly, its his depth, character, charm (etc.) that can create the attraction for me. As long as its stimulating enough, it doesn't really matter if his personality comes out in a high-pitched voice with accompanying limp-wristed hand motions. (don't get me wrong, sometimes i'm too shallow to look through that). Ideally, a manly guy with a great personality would be the best.... (that's just rare).

Personally, I just try to be me. And I guess me is often called 'manly' (not to say i haven't been called a girl plenty of times). So even though I could never understand why some gay guys act so feminine, If that's just them being them then it makes sense.

 

I've always just told myself that the 'girly' ones are the only ones you thinks are gay, and the 'manly' homosexual guys seem just like straight guys, and that is why the image of gay men is always portrayed as feminine.

 

Sarah nailed it you can't even "see" the other half.

The funny thing is you dont even believe what you said in your opening post, you say your confused, think only the feminine ones are gay, and yet if you were to get sent off to prison, it wouldnt be the girly ones you would worry about would it?

 

Sadly, I am not in touch with my feminine side at all. I am just your usual corporate dude, who works for a global corp., wears jeans and a t-shirt in his time off. There is really nothing feminine about me at all.

I am attracted to other men, who appear to be genuine. Some are very masculine, some not. If I like a guy, that's it. Conversely, if I don't... In other words, camp or not does not really matter in my books at all.

KD

 

"Infinite diversity thru infinite combinations" I think that is a correct paraphrase of Gene Roddenberry (Star Trek creator).

The world is not black and white - why we use a Rainbow Colored flag.

Some of the most nelly men I've met were muscled guys wearing leather and some of the most masculine gay guys I've met were not overly muscled but had a masculine mind-set.

You can't always tell by outward appearance. And to complicate it further is the new term "metro sexual" which encompasses the old term "dandy" or str8 men who appear feminine due to their metropolitan style and mannerisms.

Oh, and I haven't even gotten to us bisexuals who skewer the whole demographic. For the two decades I was with Brenda everyone just knew I was str8. Except of course Brenda who knew I liked sucking cock in addition to her clit.

So, as Sarah pointed out, I would have been missed by ppl checking out "gay men" and their feminine mannerisms.

 

If I had to hazard a guess, I'd bet there are a lot more masculine gay men than feminine ones. So obviously unless they choose to let you know their orientation, you wouldn't.

 

I would say this as well. The illusion is there that most gay guys are effeminate, because that is how they are mainly portrayed in the media. And also because it's easy to tell that the effeminate ones are gay. Masculine guys will always be assumed to be straight, unless they actually say otherwise. Its just another example of people's ignorance and stupidity really.

 

so you're gay then?

 

"Manly" gay guys arent manly because they want to play the man part, but because that is just the way they are. Im gay but i seem straight, I dont act feminine because i dont feel like that, and feminine guys dont act "manly" because they dont feel like that also. This just like the gay/straight arguement...no one chooses to be gay...same with the "acting". You can however act manly, to cover yourself up..you will though have your occasional slips lol, like my friend did when he was in the closet...but when he was in a room with people that knew about him, he was the queeniest fairy in the world.

 

lmao^^



i've often really wondered how the attraction works in gay couples, I've often noticed they look almost like twins a lot of the time, at least in my area.

i'm strait, experimented a few times, not really my bag. had a few "man crushes" here and there, but i really truly prefer women. i have had gay things or thoughts turn me on before, though. idk, whatever, im strait lol.

 

Lol. I don't know what it is with gay people in this forum, but you guys are all about generalizations. I know I do it, too, sometimes. But it seems a little out of control. Everyone likes what they like, and you can't just lump an entire subculture into a certain point of view, or category. I personally, do not "act like a woman." I act like a guy, because that's what I am. Sometimes, I may have the mindset of a woman, but it usually doesn't make it to outward expression. I do like many men, though.