people who try to hurt you and turn everything into a "you" problem when you critique

okay, I didn't wanna get into specifics but here's the story. I know someone who gets very depressed, lethargic, anti-social and mean although that someone is on a high dose of Prozac. that person also happens to drink a lot. I said.. several times actually.. after witnessing various accidents.. scenes.. and just what a mess that someone is.. that maybe they should consider laying off the bottle.. maybe completely.. because not only maybe they're alcoholic and get bitchy when they don't drink and do very stupid things when they do, and maybe the drinking cancels out the effects of the Prozac that normally should be preventing the depression and aggressivity.

they got very mad, and threw insults in my face.. telling me.. things like yea! well you drink too!! (and I do, in moderation, and, I am not on meds), and how many pills did you take today?? (like none and they used a story I told them about from like 2 years ago as if it was a habit).. told me to shut the fuck up.. or something like that..

and it's not the first time, nor the worst.

everytime they fuck up, and I point it out, there we go. ignoring of own mistake, trying to turn it into a me problem, shutting me out for days, never apologizing for the abuse.

and they do that with everyone who's trying to help them.

 

This is way too positive.

You need more negativity in your life.

 

I know they don't want my advice.

But my life is not fucked up! At least, compared to theirs, it's like The Little House In The Prairie..

 

I don't deal well with passive aggressive people.
I'd prefer my aggression straight up.
Didn't want advice say so, and call me a **** if you want even.

 

You should honestly just leave that person alone, it's not like they don't know that they're fucking up and that they need to stop drinking. They are just not ready to face it yet.

 

maybe your OP should be about how to help friends who have problems with alcohol or psychological issues.

for which i would recommend going to a support group.

 

This.

Penny, don't you see how obvious your advice is? If it was so easy for him or her to not pop pills or stop drinking they would have already, right?

Nothing you said changes my original opinion. I don't care HOW fucked up someone is or WHO they are, I don't give advice, criticism or try to help unless it's asked of me.

If they are bothering me with their behavior, I communicate my boundaries or discontinue seeing them altogether.

At best, I will let them know that I'm available if they need help so long as they respect my space.

 

Yeah, honestly.

If people really WANT advice, then they will come to you for it out of their own will.

Otherwise, you're simply alienating them (and properly pissing them off) by telling them how to live their life.

 

oh I am leaving them alone now. particularly after I was told to not talk to them again unless it began with an apology!

but it's been 15 years.. well I've only known them for a year but.. I know their history. kinda seems hopeless at this point..

I just have a hard time detaching myself from anything I ever got involved in. I guess it's what I must do though.

 

well yes and no - I wanted to talk about negative reactions to critique in general..

 

and Cherea and BSR, I see your point. you're more understanding than I am..

I need to learn to detach myself though.

 

Meow.

 

that was my boyfriend I just broke-up with I was talking about btw. fuck it I didn't wanna say it but.. whatev. I suppose it makes more sense I didn't really leave them alone since I was suffering from their fucking-up as well.

 

One of the many distinguishing characteristics which separates men from women; unless the man in question lacks confidence


Hotwater

 

And we can smell that lack of confidence from miles away.

 

I bet you can



Hotwater

 

That's a declaration of war. I probably would've beaten my brother's ass long before it got to that point. And he's bigger than me, lol.

 

i just stop giving them advice/critism as (as mentioned before) it's like talking to a brick wall and thus will get us nowhere.

 

lol! I just screamed. But I did not retaliate. It sucked because I was all dressed to go job hunting.

 

This is 100% true.