Hey all!!! So there is loving someone because they make you feel great AND there is loving someone because you love them. Is the first more selfish than the second? Is there a real difference? Which is better? Do you need to think about your future with someone to love them?
Love really isnt that complicated IMO, its just a feeling. There are all different levels of it, one no more profound than the other. It is somthing that happens naturally....embrace it.
When you love smb. you don't need to think neither about the future, nor about the past. And I do not see a real dichotomy in what you said: if you love them they make you feel great, if they make you fell great you love them. These things are pretty much related to me, but, of course, I can be wrong. One more thing:you can't really talk about a hierarchy in love. There are multiple aspects, faces, but there is no love "better" than another, because love is COMPLETE when it is real love.
The ideal relationship, or at least it is the best one I have ever experienced, is where both people put the other's happiness ahead of their own, and their goal is to please the other one as much as possible. The love of a mate requires no thinking at all, it is pure emotion. When your partner does their best to make you happy, and you do the same, it is magical. If you both instinctively know the other person's likes and dislikes right away, it is beyond that. If those likes and dislikes are virtually identical, you cannot describe how that feels, it is beyond imagination.
I think you love someone when you love them, period.. if you can find reasons why, I think it's more of an infatuation, however strong it may be. Love is really unpredictable.. and it's a really, really, really strong feeling, very intense, and totally unconditional.. I think it's easy to mistake infatuation for love when you haven't really been in love before. I think when you love someone.. you have this big picture of them in front of your eyes.. and it doesn't go away at any time, no matter who you flirt with, who you look at.. I don't think you need to worry about the future when you're in love. I think you should just enjoy the present moment and try and make it great.. and doing that each and every day is what will make the future great.
man the first is an awesome conection that you dont get with many other people often in your life, at all. its not selfish at all man. dont think about the future to much when your in love.. it will confuse you and could be stressful. just think about what you have at that moment,present, love!! your love could be gone in the blink of an eye.
The difference is that in one case there is intimacy, and in the other type of relationship there's a severe lack of it or none at all; the latter relies on pleasure (materialistic/physical [the sex, the looks]). One lasts, the other usually ends when the people realize in some sense or another that they can't really be intimate with one another, or when a bigger wallet, better car, or better looks come along. Were all those people who got divorced or just broke up in deeply intimate relationships?
I don't know if love is that simple, to equate a feeling with love seems to be over simplistic. After all, feelings change, they do not remain the same. What happens to love when you no longer feel "good" when you are around your SO? Does this mean that love has ended? I can't agree that love is simply a feeling for another. There has to be more to love than that; otherwise we would be falling in and out of love every time someone does or doesn't make us "feel good." What is love? I would have to say complete acceptance of another person. Real love doesn't happen that often- I think infatuation and the idea that when someone makes us "feel good" are much more common than actual love. My grandmother claimed she loved my step-grandfather, but when he was diagnosised w/ Parkinson's, she left him. Was this love? I would hard pressed to agree. It seems as though we have this idea that love is conditional- as in, I'll love you as long as you keep me happy or I'll love you if you act like a certain way. Real love is sticking w/ someone through the good and bad times, but how many people do that anymore? I am not saying that one cannot leave another if they truly love another. Part of love is also caring for yourself and when the person you love is becoming a danger to you, others, or themselves, the best thing you can do is get them help. If that means leaving them, it is not b/c you are tired of them, but you want what's best for the other person. That, I think, is what love really is- wanting the best for the other person, no matter what. Peace and love
Love is more than just a feeling, it is also something that we choose. In that way, we can choose to keep on loving even when we don't feel like it. For me, the feeling of being in love is like the tide - it rises and ebbs. But even at the lowest point of being in love where you're not feeling it at all, you can still choose to love your partner. THat is, you can still choose to be kind, you can still choose to forgive, to listen, to nurture. That is why the vow of marriage includes "for better or for worse". If love were just a feeling, than none of us could love for worse. We'd be stuck with loving each other only when things are going great and leaving when things are not going our way. Of course we can choose to leave when things are not going our way, but we can also choose to stay even when we're not feeling the love. This ability to choose tells me that love is no mere emotion.
