I think I MIGHT be bi but I REALLY don't wanna be.

Ok so like. A number of days ago I had a psychedellic trip. One of the things I did on this trip was I tried to remove the gay from me. I tried to force it out of me through focus in meditation. Then I tried to hold it off from reforming in the days following. I made it like 5 days and then I succumbed. Fantasized about dudes, had fun with the soap bottles in the bathroom, wanked it, the whole enchilada and it was even better then I remember it This was a real bummer for me, cause the psychedellic thing was my last hope and now I feel like I'm stuck with this homo fixation in my brain.

I even went and had a cheeseburger and milkshake from carls jr afterwards and I am supposed to be eating vegan. I just like completely demolished all things I was trying to hold onto in one sweep in just a few hours.

Now I just feel really really gay. And I don't wanna be. I KNOW what your saying 'dude just accept it'. But see heres the thing.

Here is the thing.

I always saw myself dating a girl. I prefer the company of girls. I just don't feel like the thing is complete unless there is a girl there.

Its just I get really really horny and wanna have like a sexual romp and I just dont care about the semantics, I just want whatever is most like... I dunno... dirty... and just go at it, like an animal

But when I think about girls, everything about girls feels right. Like, even after I'm done wanking and I'm no longer horny, the thought of a dude laying next to me naked is kind of odd feeling... but the thought of girl, I'd just wanna curl up and cuddle with her.

So I just don't know. I mean. Is it possible to just go through like a gay phase? Like an anal play phase? Have you guys gone through such a phase? I mean you go through lots of phases in life, right? Doesn't mean its permanent. Do you know anyone that went through a gay phase? I feel like this gay thing is like some drug, some gay hormone thats overtaken me and I'm trying to wait it off, like I'd wait off the effects of a drug.

Cause I feel like I just wanna fuck everything. This cant be normal. I really don't think I'm so much attracted to dudes, but rather, I'm just so fucking horny that it's over flowing into gay. Or is that what Bi is? Are bi people just so overly ridiculously horny people that they wanna bang everything?

See I always wanted to take like a nice girl home to meet my mom and grandma. and sleep next to a nice girl at night, and have a nice girl keep me company and like feed me when I get sick and mother me and all that stuff. I never wanted a dude to do it. Dudes just don't feel right.

 

Awe.. I don't really know what to say.. I'm a female, but I kind of am in the same boat. Except I don't struggle with it nearly as much.. so honestly this made me feel pretty bad for you. I think it would be so hard to struggle this much.

I have accepted the fact that I fantasize and like to be with women and am pretty openly bisexual. Not with my parents... but with most people.

I am the same as you though, in the sense I have dated women in the past, but recently decided that dating women was not for me.. I just like men in a different way then I like women. I am attached to them much more.

I am actually quite satisfied recently just thinking about a woman and not letting myself give into actually being with one.. so I can stay with one man. It's just easier for me.

I really hope you figure out what is right for you.. Obviously these feelings may not be something you can rid yourself of.

OH, also.. I am insanely horny as well.. but I don't think that has to do with being bi! When I came out to one of my guy friends he was like "that's just like you! you have to have it all don't you!" like I'm just so horny I have to have a piece of everything thats sexy around me.. hahaha. No, I don't think that's it..

I really have thought maybe we are all naturally attracted to both sexes and some of us are not as open about it and don't realize it. But I know many many many people would not agree with that!!!

 

Do you mean literally?
No, I'm bisexual and I don't wanna bang everything.

and there's no gay hormone or virus or drug or disease or illness etc.

 

You are putting too much thought into this. The truth is that no one, including yourself knows for sure, if you are just a horny young guy, who'd bang anyone to get your rocks off; or maybe just someone who is going thru a particular phase of being sexually ambigous; or possibly a gay (or genuinely bi) dude who has conflicting feeling and urges.

All of this is confusing and even bothersome. And there is really nothing you can do about it. It simply takes time, growth and experience to establish and define your parameters, preferences, likes and dislikes.

Take it one day at a time. Do not attach overwhelming importance to your choices at this time of your life. Focus on real life situations around you, and start from there.

If you are attracted to someone you know, try to go with your gut feeling, and see where this takes you. Do not make promises that you cannot make, and be respectful of the others. But stop thinking that any one particular act will determine your life forever.

If you hook up with a dude, whom you find hot, have fun and enjoy it. No one out there assumes that this is for all the eternity. You are a free person, and within reason, you can decide what's your next move at any time. Part with the outdated notion that having sex with someone automatically involves long-lasting consequnces and obligations on anyone's part.

KD

 

I think you might be getting brainwashed by everyone else's BS.

Just cos you might be gay/bi or whatever doesnt mean you cant prefer the company of girls, doesnt mean you dont like looking at pretty girls, doesnt mean you dont get an ego boost getting the attention from pretty girls. Certainly doesnt mean you are attracted to every guy. You may only be interested in gay guys. And a lot of gay guys, what are they really - half girl half guy, whether the androgyny might be external and obvious or all guy on the outside, but thinks like a girl. Not all gay guys are exclusively gay.

Dont waste time worrying about labels or what everyone else thinks, in the end they dont really have time to give much of a shit anyway

 

I agree with Vanilla Gorilla. I think you're a victim of your upbringing, caring way too much about what you "should" be, and what you think gay and bisexual men are. All of which are formed by what you've heard from other people, and none of which are accurate. There are all kinds of different people, all different ways of being sexual, and socializing.

It's normal, and okay, to be horny all the time. It's more normal than you think to have bisexual inclinations. You'll grow out of the constant horniness. You may or may not grow out of strong bisexual fantasies. When I was younger, I found men and women equally attractive, but as I've aged, I've grown gayer. You may grow straighter.

So you want to fuck men and woman, but would prefer to have a relationship with a woman. What's the problem? Just because you have sex with a guy doesn't mean you have to move in with him. I think you'll find that works out really nicely; you'll find plenty of men who are satisfied to just be physical and leave. And women will be happy to cuddle and meet your family. Continuing to have sex with men while being in a relationship with women may be problematic... But don't sweat it until it happens. Once you start having relationships you may find that you're satisfied in a relationship, and don't feel the need to stray. I seem to recall from your past posts that you're a virgin, right? Why are you agonizing so much about the sex life you don't have? Experience will make things less confusing for you.

Is it really you that thinks it would be weird to cuddle with a guy? And that it's dirty to have sex with them? It sounds like what you like about women that you don't like about men is that you're used to the idea, and it's what's expected and accepted by other people. And you've got hang-ups about the "properness" of homosexual relations, and an aversion to anal sex. (Lots of gays have anal sex rarely or not at all, btw.) So just what is it that you like about guys?

 

Personally, I consider myself probably straight, possibly bi, and I'm just fine with that. The first time I masturbated to gay porn while stoned, I was pretty freaked out the next day.
But, I've never been romantically attracted to a guy, and rarely ever am I physically attracted to a guy in person, so I tend to think of it as a sexual thing that I may one day explore, but if not, no loss to me.

You seem to have a few misconceptions or biases though; and you seem to be way more bothered by this than you should be.
Firstly: anal play and gay are two totally different things. Many straight men are into anal play, as the prostrate gland is quite sensitive and pleasurable. Playing with your ass is by no means related to sexuality (and there are even gays that don't enjoy it, and prefer to be the pusher)
Also, if you are attracted to females physically, romantically and whatnot you can not be gay, and therefore they would not be gay urges/fantasies.
Thirdly, you're sexual attractions are not something you can force out of your system. To make it taboo in your mind is only adding an extra dimension to your attraction to it, setting up a sort've 'ohh, this is naughty but I'm doing it anyway!'

You could be only interested in gay/bi porn, and it could be a reflection of a sort've ode to the sexuality of masculinity. Or, you could in fact, find it quite pleasurable to be with a guy but only on platonic and sexual levels. Or, you could be bi with a capacity for a male-male relationship, one you haven't used and may never use.
All of these options also apply to me.
My question to you: why does it even matter?

 

The way I see it, you are whatever you want to be. If you want to be straight, you're straight. If you want to be gay, you're gay. If you want to like a little of both, you're bi. You can get turned on by men and still consider yourself straight.

 

thanks for the replies.


I'm just gonna forget about this whole thing now and stop caring.

 

Sounds like the best route to me.
I find most people care way too much about too many things that don't matter =P

 

you started the post with "Ok so like."

...yeah you're gay.

 

lol