Ok, so you're alone right now. The first thing is to tell yourself that that's ok. It won't kill you to be alone for a while and from the way you talk about your memories and worries of forgetting yourself it seems to me that you could stand taking a bit of time to get to know yourself better. I understand that that sort of introspection is going to be difficult considering the grief you're feeling, but it shouldn't be impossible. You're just going to have to work at it a bit. First understand that a lot of the pain you're feeling, the knots-in-your-stomach broken-heart feeling, is something you're going to have to let time deal with. Just like an addiction you're going to have to wait it out. Time is the only thing that's going to make that physical, visceral feeling of sorrow go away. But you do have a choice as to how you spend that time. You can lie in bed and dwell on your loss, feeling every agonizing second of your misery. Or you can work to keep yourself occupied. Do what you can to take your mind off things. Time will work its magic whether you're paying attention to it or not. Idle time is your enemy right now because you're only going to use it to dwell on your sorrow. Find things to do, ways to keep busy, even if you don't feel like it. This is so very hard to do, I know, but make yourself do it. Get a hobby. Work out. Volunteer for a charity. Go to the library and study the hell out of something that's always interested you. Find something to do that will make you a better person, a more interesting person. Doing this will help you meet new people, make new friends. Hopefully somewhere along the way you will realize that you're a whole person on your own, and you don't need a relationship to define yourself. You'll realize that you're strong enough to stand up and face the world all on your own, and you'll realize that you're a better person for it. You'll realize that while it still hurts, you're going to be ok. And eventually, you will be ok. Take a couple more days to mourn if you have to but after that you need to stand up, take a deep breath, and march on out into the world even if all you really want to do is lay in bed and feel miserable. Good luck.
