Hey, this is the first time I post a poem. It's actually the first poem I've written without being told to do it for an English class or what not. So here it is. Please share your comments (good or bad) with me! Thanks! I could gaze at this forever Never getting bored Never wondering When the end will come When it will stop I'm surprised every time Always noticing something new Always amazed At how much emotion Has been captured I wish it would move slower So I could gaze at every detail So I could inspect Every wrinkle, every stare Every feeling of pain, of hurt I feel as though They see right through me I can't fool them Not like everybody else I can't fool them.
Hmmm, it's a little puzzler and I like that. Observation can be universal despite the limitations of subjectivity. So we read your words and think- is this what she's talking about, is this what she's seeing? And we're drawn in momentarily to your world. Now- that last stanza is a complete point-of-view realignment. Okay, what would be the title for this piece?
thanks for the comments. i don't quite know what the title of the poem would be. what happened was i started writing a poem just about what i was seeing on the surface, but then i realized how it applies to my whole life, and thats when i put the last part it. but, if i were to make the title just about what it really as inspired by, i suppose i could call it "My Obsession".
Or, you could just leave it untitled, seeing as that was your original 'gut reaction'? I think it's a wonderful effort, because it's all you!! S
