Straight men can be so dense.

Discussion in 'Bisexual' started by drumminmama, Jul 13, 2009.

  1. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    I have a dear straight male friend who is more who recently found out I was bisexual, as it came up during a talk at Pridefest.
    He seemed surprised (i'm femme but not girly) and didn't say much until we were alone later. So we are getting started with our exploits and he looks at me with one of those smiles I've learned to cringe when I see on men, and says, "so, when was your last girlfriend?"
    I answer, but cut him off.
    "You know, bisexual is not Latin for into threesomes, right?"

    so, yeah, I could have kept quiet, but enough people in the circle of acquaintences know so I'd rather he know from me, since we are intimate.

    what is with straight men and the want two women hang up?

    I told him I was really into being very present with my partners right now, and didn't he want that benefit?
     
  2. rastapasta

    rastapasta Member

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    Just for future reference, what exactly is the Latin word for threesomes? Just incase it ever comes up.
     
  3. Shale

    Shale ~

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    Straight men, gay men - they all let their balls do their thinking for them. :rolleyes:

    Except me, of course. :cool:
     
  4. Shale

    Shale ~

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    IDK - In French it is Trebuchet - refers to hurling heavy stones.
     
  5. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    lol@ rastapasta. I am pretty bad with Latin. I depend on cognates and my limited Spanish (again, cognates) to bluff through.
    Thanks Shale.
     
  6. mastercylinder

    mastercylinder Banned

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    2 girls is the male fantasy----i blew it with my bi x girl cas she said i paid too much attention to the other girl---hhahaha----and i asked --"wats up with all the girlfriends and a boyfriend" she said "well if you have a boyfriend and a girlfriend --you have everything" cool chick
     
  7. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    Well, most are dense, some are just really good at acting dense.
     
  8. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

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    It's different things for different men.
    Some want it because it's like 'I could have TWO' so sorta like, for conquest reasons
    Some want it because two chicks together are really hot, why wouldn't they want in on that
    Some men want it because it's that one thing they haven't got to try
    Some men want it because 'Isn't that what men are supposed to want?'
     
  9. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    I can see that Duck.
    Sounds like another chat is in order. Not that I have a gal right now. I'm mostly male-oriented and the one woman I'm interested in has a stable partner.
     
  10. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

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    There's two reasons I would like to have one currently.
    A) a two mouthed blowjob
    B) to see my girlfriend explore her bi side
    But, until I dated her I always thought the potential problems were not worth it

    Honestly, I think there's a lot of men just want it because it's what men are supposed to want.
    Odon always makes fun of American individualism - but really, I don't see it =P
     
  11. DazedGypsy

    DazedGypsy fire

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    what's wrong with a straight man wanting a threesome with 2 women?

    also how was he asking for a threesome by asking when your last girlfriend was?

    also what's wrong with him implying he'd like to have a threesome with you and another woman?

    i'm bisexual fyi.
     
  12. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    it was the tone and look, and timing.
    We've been friends a long time (many years) and I can read him fairly well.
    Plus when i gave him the line he blushed.

    there's nothing wrong with the desire.
    I'm sure he's had fantasies rekindled.
    It's the automatic assumption that bi women will always be up for a threesome with another woman that gets tiring.
     
  13. Mancrisps

    Mancrisps Guest

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    I don't really see any issue, society is beginning to accept same sex relations but it is at an early stage. Lets face it, people are a product of their society so it should be no surprise that people react with surprise when they learn that you have feelings for the same sex.

    Bisexuality or homosexuality is not commonly acknowledged at this time hence it is seen as rare and unusual by society. Surprise is an appropriate reaction in the context of our current society, provided it is followed by acceptance. I'm not saying surprise is the right reaction, in a utopia people would simply accept what you are without attaching a stigma or feeling shocked but that is not reality.

    The more that people like yourself inform their friends of their true nature the more society will accept it. I feel like a hypocrite tho saying all that... i have not mustered the courage to tell my friends how i feel yet, it takes epic courage to risk the rejection of your peers and be true to yourself. But i bet its liberating?
     
  14. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    Well, mancrisps (great handle, btw...I'm picturing crisps in the UK sense), I was 35 before I started being open about it again (obviously I was somewhat open before my last marriage 14 years ago. My soon to be ex said he didn't realize I was bi, only that I'd experimented. Thanks for listening, bub.).
    I'm almost 41 and redefining who and what I am post marriage.
    And this friend and I are intimate, so there is a level of need to know, as I see it. If he was bi/ bicurious, I'd def want to know since we share fluids. (we were tested)
    I felt he should know exactly who I am.
    we also know each other through work at a music venue that hosts many lesbian acts, so the idea is not foreign by any stretch.
    His best friend is lesbian, too.
     
  15. lunarverse

    lunarverse The Living End

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    so...the title of your thread should have been, "my straight male friend can be so dense."
     
  16. Bonkai

    Bonkai Later guys

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    I really don't see the problem. At the most he implied it (which he really didn't from what I read) even then you can just tell him "no thanks, not into it" problem solved. Why do you make it sound like he is constantly badgering you with a threesome request?

    Anyways, why is it a bad thing if a man or anyone for that matter what's to have sex with two women?
     
  17. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

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    Agreed.
     
  18. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    Ok, fair enough on the title...but he's not he only straight man I've known who lights up when they hear a woman is bi.
    I am saying he's dense, with affection. :)

    Thing is, if I found some woman who'd be open to it...I wonder how he'd really react?

    The one and only time I went there, years ago, the guy panicked and fled.
     
  19. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

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    I like when people are bi, guy or girl, and I'm not even sure I'm bi myself. It just seems a lovely thing to be =P

    And all guys are different when it comes to threesomes, some are all talk, some are way into the idea, some have certain conditions that would have to be present, some would avoid them in any circumstance, some even fear them.
     
  20. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    Dont worry, I get you, its never the George Clooneys its always the Danny Devitos, and never the guy that would actually be able to handle that, the ones that jizz in their pants just hearing the word bi.

    And everytime you say you are bi, there's always some guy with the dumb joke that thinks its never been said before.........
     

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