Is pornography beneficial or detrimental to a relationship?

In your personal experience, when in a long term relationship with another person, has pornography been mostly beneficial or mostly detrimental to i I'm curious to see what your views/attitude towards pornography is, and though I understand that pornography's effect depends largely on the two people involved, I'm just simply wondering how it has affected your personal relationships past and present.

 

Pornography is a fact of many people's sexuality. I think it depends on the persons involved as to whether or not it has a detrimental effect. So much of the straight female population puts limitations on their partners pornographic consumption forcing the male to lie and hide. However if pornographic consumption is acceptable or shared between the partners without resentment it can be beneficial, it certainly can't hurt.

 

My last boyfriend tried to get me into it. I'm not. It bothered me because I was an insecure little high schooler, and sometimes it kind of drove a wedge between us. Now, being older, it doesn't bother me as much, but I'm still not into it. It's really just one more thing we weren't compatible on.
My current boyfriend isn't into it, so it's all good. If he was, I would probably be able to handle it better than I did in HS, but it's always nice to have someone understand where you are coming from and agree.

 

It depends. It probably will unless both partners enjoy it.

 

It's not always beneficial, but I think if a typical amount of porn is detrimental: you are with the WRONG person. Letting some sexy pictures come between you shows off horrible insecurity, immaturity, mistrust, etc. etc.

 

it is whatever you want it to be./
if the chik does not like it then its not very benificial for you.
my bf watches porn from time to time and personaly i don`t give a slightest shit about it.
i watch porn too so whatever. redtube mostly, i don`t like to download shit.

 

I think that whether porn it is a benefit, detriment, or non-issue in a relationship is largely based on the two individuals' feelings towards it and how well they respect each others sentiments towards porn.

Porn, as an influence on sexuality, can be both good and bad, IMHO. If it makes you more comfortable, adventurous, and satisfied with your sexuality, I think it can be a positive influence. If, on the otherhand, it becomes obsessive to the exclusion of real human contact, or induces fetish or interests that are not compatible with your partner, then, obviously, they could be bad.

 

That's a good point, actually.
I was just thinking about normal amounts of porn and typical fetishes - but if you throw some of the really weird ones in their (bestiality, scat), I can see it being much more reasonably harmful to the relationship.

 

Not including the beastialty but, porn that has consenting adults in it shouldn't have a detrimental effect. Fantasies are fantasies and as long as the partner isn't pressing their plus one to participate in a fetish which they don't want to participate, what is so bad about a healthy fantasy life?

 

Looks like most respondents here have a handle on porn, that it's risk versus benefit in a relationship is up to the ppl involved. Also, you have to differentiate what is porn and that has always been a problem.

"I can't define it but I know it when I see it." is the circular definition.

So, my personal experience. My wife and I got together in our thirties, so we were not naive virgins. She was attracted to me because of my free spirit and would not even consider making an issue of my porn habits. (I actually collect porn and books on sexuality). In fact back in the VHS days we would put in a tape and fuck while watching. It was almost like doing it with another couple in the room.

You can't really suppress a man's desire for porn as many women (young, insecure, naive) have learned the hard way. He will just take it underground. Also, for the creative mind, you can make your own.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=15432&page=submissions

You can be fucking your partner while Angelina Jolie or Ashton Kutcher is really the image you're doing. My wife actually enjoyed some of the porn I created and we had fun in my "research & development" of het porn as I had to see if the things I thought up really could be done.

 

^^^Yes, fantasies are fantasies, but fantasies can become obsessions. Porn addiction is real for some people. Furthermore, most fantasies manifest themselves in some form or another in a person's action. A guy watches violent porn and it makes him slightly more aggressive with his spouse during sex or whatever. I can see this leading to a problem.

If nothing else, how many men get really stoked over the idea of coming on their girldfriends face? A lot. This is something many women don't like. Where did these men get the idea? From porn.

Notice, I said the main factor on whether or not porn is detrimental is how well the couple respects each others feelings on the subject.

 

I agree 100%, read my original post, I think it's the third one or so.
People who get so jealous of regular porn that they cause problems with their partner - don't deserve to be in a relationship .

 

And some would say, "people who get so jealous about sharing their partner don't deserve to be in a relationship."

I'm not saying I agree with that statement, but, rather, boundaries are really shades of gray when it comes to the issue of what is acceptable between two people. In the end, its a case by case issue. The only thing unacceptable would be to do something hurtful despite the wishes of the other person.

 

People think about people other than their partners. It's human fact. Not everyone is poly in nature though - many just fantasize at times. I don't think they compare nearly as much as they do in sentence structure.

 

IMO It can do so many wonderful things for couples. Like open up the lines of communication and illicit very specific discussions about a couples sex life. It can also liven up or breath new life into a couples sex life with exciting ideas.

But when introduced into a relationship fraught with insecurities, a relationship can be broken beyond repair.

Or introduced in a terrible way such as the man coming home with a movie that he chose and the woman reluctantly agrees and is mortified to see that he has chosen World's Largest Anal Gangbang #24. Simply not right.

 

My ex loved porn. I didn't, and I didn't have the urge or will to watch it with him but I didn't mind if he did so on his own. If he had asked me to watch it with him then perhaps I'd have given it a go. But he knew it wasn't in my interest. If it had become an addiction or he'd have ended up prefering it to real sex, then I might have seen it as a problem. But since I never felt like that, it was fine.

My boyfriend now is very fussy about porn. We've browsed some porn sites on the net together, and I can honestly say there was very little that he found a turn on. Although there's a lot that's sexy, I personally prefer porn that's homemade and not staged and my boyfriend seems to agree with me too. There's the odd sex scene in a film or on TV that is steamy enough to get us in the action, but it doesn't go much further than that. Sexually my boyfriend and I are very similar and are more into words and ideas than visuals. I'm over the moon that we're so sexually compatible this way.

If I suddenly discover one day that my boyfriend does secretly have a love for porn that I don't know about then that'll be a big problem. I'd be very hurt. But I could have caught my ex wanking over a porno and I wouldn't have batted an eye lid.

So I think it depends on the individuals in a relationship and the relationship as a whole, and the compatibility.

 

i agree with you on this too

 

Me three! Or I guess four in this case.. =/

 

I'm so glad I got some agreement on those parts. It's way more appealing when people are genuinely having a good shag on camera for the thrill, than porn that's so staged and fake that they're fucking for the camera and not the person they're with.

 

Sure, porn can become an addiction. If you have a problem with porn you shouldn't have it around. If you're an alcoholic you shouldn't have alcohol around.
Furthermore you say "most fantasies manifest themeselves in some form or another", why shouldn't they? Some people like aggressive sex and if their partner is into it too, or willing to tolerate mild violent play to indulge their partner, so much the better.

How many women get stoked about being utterly objectified? For many women, that can be a turn on. And if it is not, is a little semen in the face such a bad thing to indulge their partners fantasies?

I agree, it ultimately depends on the stability of the relationship. But, I also don't think that we should go into any situation thinking that porn is bad. Sure, it can produce a climate of victimization of women. But, there are sites and companies that guaruntee their female actresses a fair wage, this includes ones involving BDSM and humiliation play. If that is a concern then seek those groups.