I don't know if this is the right area, but maybe an older person could see through the confusion of the situation. Basically, I've been friends with a certain person for almost five years now, and for the first year or two, we were great friends. Over the next two years we became kind of contrasting in views, but still hung out like best friends. This year, it has gotten horrible. I recently realized that the reason I had lost motivation for programming (a hobby of mine) was due to a nasty comment they had made. I had thought that it hadn't affected me, but it was buried deep within, and I couldn't even program anything because I kept hating the ideas I came up with, subconsciously, and then after tripping on opiates (hah) it became perfectly clear to me, and I feel angered because of this. Anyways, I could go on and on about the many times he's gone out of his way to make me feel like crap or bother me, and yet I've put up with it for years. I feel like I don't have the strength to tell them off, so I'm looking for the best way to put an end to a long strained relationship. I think in the long run, it will be the healthiest thing for me.
I think you said it all right there. Explain what happened and why. Perhaps end on a good note. Great friendship for 10 years and you have both drifted and it's healthier to get away and do other things. Not sure really what to say. Just sad that no one asnwered you.
it almost pains me to read posts like this. but if there's one thing that i can tell you it is that everyone has gone through relationships like this at one point in their lives. even the people you think of as strong and or as someone who wouldn't put up with crap from another person wasn't born that way. they learn to be stronger. whether they learn that lesson at 16 or 60 is the difference. no one who knows me today would believe for one second that i'd let someone treat me with disrespect. but i'm probably at least 3 times your age and i got here the way most people got here. by experience. and that just takes time. there's one thing you should remember. someone who has to put other people down is someone who isn't feeling great about themselves. that is true in every case at every point in history. those who have self-respect and like themselves, don't have the need to make others feel small. so this friend has an issue that you can't solve. just by writing what you've written here, you've taken the first step to being a stronger person and you will BE that stronger person by refusing to allow this so-called friend to belittle you. i get the feeling that you don't want a face to face confrontation over this. so don't return phone calls, try to avoid them if possible. if they confront you on this you might say without anger, sorry but i just want to be around someone who's positive and not someone who puts me down. i know all of this is easy for an older person to say. it's always harder when you're younger and there's more peer pressure involved. but you sound like you've already taken a stand for yourself and that's a fantastic thing that will only bode well for your future friendships. seriously...there are a lot of older people on here who are willing to listen. i hope this will encourage you to ask when you need help.
Friendships come and go in life. Some last longer than others. Holding on to ones that are over is common. Best to just move on sounds like to me and don't look back.
