Nervous Breakdown or something?

About a week after the last time I ate a mushroom (a very old one i guess since it was very brown and looked aged), I became very paranoid. I was at my girlfriend's house, and started to feel very scared about some things. My mind started to connect several things I had been experiencing for a long time. A few of em I can mention, was finding a plate of old food under the seat of my car (which I had given to a guy who my dad sent to pick me and my girl from a trip: he told me about some guy selling his soul to the devil and how his whole family died after some weeks). It made me remember that movie, Pans Labyrinth. That same day, my wallet got lost and I was being paranoid about the government tracking me down and stuff (which I found later on by the way). That same night, I was going to stay at my girls house, but was too scared since we were alone and I was thinking that the police was going to come looking for me, since some friends had come by and told me that the Military was up to hi jacking phones, since they knew something was gonna happen here(which someone who had some connection to told him). To make a very long story shorter, I came home and told my mom I had ate shrooms, smoked marihuana, and a few other things. She and my dad took me to a psychiatrist which wasnt helpful at all, since they were all against my lifestyle. I felt like i was becoming insane or like I was going to die, just like that song from infected mushroom. Not even my beloved girlfriend (who I love more than anything) could take my paranoia away.! I felt like I was going into tunnels (that were taking me to hell or heaven or insaneness) every time I saw patterns. I sometimes also felt omnipotent, like I was God or if God was speaking through me or something. And so it ringed my bell, that all of this, and countless other things that my mind was connecting was because I had eaten an infected mushroom (yeah the band actually made me to think of this). About after a week of feeling paranoiac even when going to sleep (since I thought I was going to wake up insane or even NOT waking up) I just decided to step out of it and living on, and I could make it all go away. Now that I come to think of all this, I find quite stupid because many of the things I was linking had to do with movies or things I read on the internet about witchcraft and white magic and shit and also things that were happening all over the world, and John Lennon's death, etc. etc. etc. I tell you, its countless stuff.

So here goes my questions to this long story. What do you think was going on in my crazy head? was I becoming insane? had i gone into some paranoic cycle? had i eaten an infected mushroom? Nervous breakdown maybe (dont really know what this is but it just came to my thoughts)? Do you think maybe I just let my thoughts run too far away and became paranoid in the way?

I really like mushrooms and haven't eaten any since (about a year ago). Do you think it might be too dangerous for me to eat em once again? I kept myself clean for about a month after that incident, but started smoking marihuana after that time, and havent stopped since then. I know it isn't the same as mushrooms, but i´m just trying to be as explicit as I can. Please tell me what you think!

 

just wow..:rofl:

 

It wowed me too, believe me It felt a lot like tripping, but not quite there. lol! do you think it was the mushroom's effect? even though it was like a week later?

 

Human psychology is really hard to understand. More then likely the answers are within you're self.
Be careful about asking for advice as well, many people have experiences which can really poison their wisdom-The old tend to be far more cynical and jealous of the young, unconsiously anyway.

I went down a long road of alienation with my acid and 2c-E experimentation, for weeks after my heavy doses I would get flashbacks and my mind would fly around and wouldn't stay put and I felt like a paranoid mad scientist fugitive gollum creature with maybe a little hunter thompson thrown in, I could barely hold down a job because my mind was so overcome with psycadelia(?) What basically ended it all was I jumped through a window(accident) and had to go the ER on a heavy dose of acid.

And let me tell you, watching a cat run off with a bloody chunk of my lacerated arm and watching a crazy cartoon doctor who won't stop making bad jokes stich up you're arm on the peak of an LSD trip can really make you question you're mental faculties and how smart you are. Thats all it took, I did something so crazy that it instantly broke the hold the psychadelics had on my brain. I think heavy users of psychotropics either have a bad experience(kinda like you'res and mine) and stop for good or they re examine everything and become far more comfortable with the chemical and their states of mind.

I still trip balls every once in a while but I now approach these chemicals with a thoroughly different perspective and I let the spirit of the drug direct my thoughts and try not to let my ego get in the way, which is where the paranoia starts.

my personal advice is this: Only the sane question their sanity.

 

Oh yes, i've felt that on myself and I don't like at all... Hadn't put my mind on it though. Will do my best to get rid of it.

Very good advice indeed. thanks

Its good to know im not alone in my madness. Guess Ill be eating some of my favorite this year. The season has almost arrived.

 

Once that happens... you will never recover.

You only chance is to start smoking more weed and listening to lots of Grateful Dead

 

I was wandering for eons in the dark... I had no idea for how long,, but I was bruised and bloody from falling down....... was I going in any direction ? or was I just going in circles..... I had no way to tell because it had been dark for so long.......

then all of a sudden there was a Light ! Way off in the distance and I peered and I looked at it for a while rubbing my eyes..... I had no other choice but to go for this Light and see what it was......... I walked and walked but it did not seem to get any closer, but I persisted, mile after mile trucking across the Tundra (like Frank Zappa does)

then all of a sudden it began to appear getting closer and closer,,,,,, the LIght has a mysterious irredecent glow...... when I began to notice on both sides of me, long rows of Hallways with Rows of Doors inside,,,, as far as I couild see into infinity like being between 2 mirrors..........

as I got closer to this irredecent glowing Light, I began to notice a wadt of smoke billowing over the top if a giant Mushrooom....... I got closer and closer and curiously approaced around the front of this Mushroom and I looked up and there was a Giant Caterpillar up there with a Top Hat Smoking a Hookah Pipe........

he pointed behind me to a Key on a Table that wasnt there a second ago and said," here ! Dont lose it this time"

If you been having wild scenes in yout trippin', you need to either change your location or find a Guide to get you on the right track...... if you are trippin and are having a bummer,,,,,,, grab a hold of your Balls, like the mighty warrior that you are and hang on till you come down just knowing that all these things are going to sort themselves out....... if you get paranoid and let these things get the better of you,,,,, you neeed to take a close look at them and understand what the deeper meaning is......

if you cant handle it, it ight not be the best thing for you at this point in your life.....

 

Yes, a guide. Traditiionally these things are used as a spiritual quest to sort out things inside your head. And guides are a part of this. These things can be fun but they are really tools for finding the real reality (not escaping it) and expanding your consciousness. And if it expands too far it can snap like a rubber band. Approach these things with respect, a guide, and a purpose and you will have the experience you need.
peace and love
haint

 

I really do have respect for these little fellas. And it really wasn´t the first or third or fifth time, but maybe like the 8th or 9th time ... I know numbers don´t really matter, but i supposedly had some experience. I read a lot about them, and thought that their effect were only for how long the psylocybin stayed inside my body, didn´t think that the effects could hit me suddenly after a couple of weeks (not like the trippy effects, but the paranoia and delusions).

Thanks for your replies.

 

Dummie

 

Oh yeah, thanks for your great reply SmilingMyra, its just awesome, and of great help too