I don't know what to do about her. She's living in a shell and while it can be mistaken for laziness i think it's more some sort of anxiety/depression. She doesn't leave the house, exercise, etc. She says it's because of the damage in her neck/back due to an accident a few years ago. But the thing is me and her have gone on massive exhausting walks up huge steep hills well after the accident. But this stopped about 2 months after I first moved here with her. Every night she takes temazepam and Valium to sleep and doesn't usually turn off the T.V until midnight. All day she just watches T.V shows like Oprah and Dr Phil and all that other mind washing crap. I'm worried because my stepdad is getting very old and his health seems to be failing lately. And I can't stay here for the rest of my life looking after my mum, there's not much in the way of employment opportunity around here anyway. And when my stepdad's gone what's going to happen to her? Any sort of suggestion is greatly appreciated.
there's the problem man. When your step-dad's gone things are only gonna get way worse. Try and fix it now to save everyone the heartache
unless mom realizes she is in a bad spot aint nothing you can do to change it... you will have to make the decisions you need to make and let mom live (or whatever you wanna call what she is doing) her own life..
This is really sad but true. My mom was in a similar state for many, many years. I would push her and push her, but it never worked. You can't make someone do something they don't want to do. I told her it would kill her, and that I didn't want to be without her. But she said she'd be fine. And she died of a heart attack at 58. She had given up living a long time before that.
Does your mum have any other symptoms? What kind of accident was she in? All I can glean from what youve said is she is probably very depressed, which means she must see a doctor and perhaps a counsellor to discuss her options. There could be more to it such as physical issues or problems stemming from the accident, but a professional would have to assess her and say I hope shes doing better soon. Have you sat and talked to her about it? I know its really sensitive, but you never know, she may really appreciate someone having noticed and being there to listen
^Yeah I've tried to talk to her about it many times she just tunes me out with t.v. She does go to a psychologist as the insurance company has made her go because she's on workers compo. A few years ago she hurt her back and went in for surgery, the doctor damaged her neck by accident and now she's got bulging discs in her neck. She blames not doing anything on this but like i said we used to go for walks that would even leave me exhausted.
You've got to live your own life. It's sad what she has gotten herself into but please don't put yourself in a prison of taking care of her for the rest of your life. That would be doubly tragic. SOme people just have to live fucked up lives of their own choosing. It's their karma. You don't unless you so choose which in my view would be a shame.
It also sounds like she has a drug addiction problem so you need to get some help for yourself as a person affected by someone else drug problem. Al-anon is good for relatives and friends of addicts to all kinds of substances. You really should avail yourself of that at least.
