Self-Discovery

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Elogy, Jul 23, 2009.

  1. Elogy

    Elogy Member

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    Every word I read,

    I forget one I know.

    Every breath I take,

    I am forced to let go.

    Every footstep I tread,

    Destination fades.

    Good deeds become sin,

    Discovery blockades.
    -----

    I'm new to this, so criticism would be greatly appreciated!
     
  2. standingseated

    standingseated A Back Scrubber

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    I like it! Do you want to expand it?
     
  3. Elogy

    Elogy Member

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    Thanks! I was thinking about it, any suggestions?
     
  4. standingseated

    standingseated A Back Scrubber

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    No, man...Other than not to try to force the river to flow, but just notice that it is flowing.
     
  5. Stabby

    Stabby Member

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    While I don't like your sentiment very much this is one of the best written poems I've read on here. Great job!
     
  6. goodvibes83

    goodvibes83 Senior Member

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    impermanence :)
     

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