Wow you should really try getting her on top, my ex said that was the easier for him to keep control. Plus honestly its probably my favorite position. Other then that try on yours and her side with her facing away from you. It feels really good and the penetration isn't that deep, but its deep enough. I still think her on top is the best. I mean I understand why she might not like it, it can be very intimadating with the wrong partner. Just have her go on top and keep telling her how hot she looks and how much it turns you on to have her (for lack of better words sorry) fucking your dick. It always made it easier for me to get comfortable in that position. Also why are you using a condom with the pill? I never used one and as long as you two don't have any STD or something like that it should be ok. If you are worrying about getting her pregnant just pull out. I couldn't imagine using a condom while on the pill it just doesn't make sense. Just my opinion.
I get that sensation too, although I know it's just my gspot being stimulated it is just so damn annoying.
Have her go pee before you two have sex. I always do it before and afterwards. Just a habit I got into. That way she knows its not her having to pee.
Penetration is something that should be left to the end as the girl approaches orgasm. The problem is you're not making love to her your acting out what turns you on not what turns her on. You have to caress and then ask your self is it working ... Get her to do to you what you do to her, Switch roles. Do you know what it is to be ever so gentle ? Caress your own body with your hands, what does it feel like to you ? Stick you finger up your anus and ram it in and out violently and ask yourself honestly does that feel pleasant ? Rape yourself with a plastic dildo and ask your self am i enjoying that ? Bend your legs up over your head till you feel your back crack, now honestly does that feel like it might be pleasurable ? Also ask your self is my girlfriend a gumby doll ? Catch my drift ?