i failed to see your age - so I'm somewhat conflicted in offering you advice. Like if you're 12 - you're not capable of abstract thinking. If you are 12 you really should leave this site, and find some more appropiate places for you. I've been clean for years - clean is a oxy-moran, what i should say is i hadn't partaked in illegal drugs in quite some time. But a few years ago I had a rather healthy addiction xanax. I've also rode the anti-depressant train. I liked xanax, it seemed to shut of my caring sensors. Anti-depressants through made me feel like plastic - and my cock didn't work right. So I went dry. recently i scored a source - and i thought it would be a way to break my ruetiene, hell even the time i take a shit is schedualed. Pot enhances everything - touch, food, music, thought, emotions. I think it is because it allows one to focus on the present. it allows one to break away from the programming that forces one to think three steps in the future. Focus may be the wrong word - maybe open is more reasonable. Your mind blocks millions of messages a second in its normal state - there is simply too much occuring for it to process. So as a saftey messure - it only chooses the electrical impuluses that seem to matter to your well being. Getting high fucks that process up - and you allow the mind to wonder freely. i don't think it messes you up to such a degree that you'll kill yrself like other substances - i'm sure its possible. For instance, as a kid I used to love driving while high - i can't do it now. What happens is that i began to see alternate universes that were created by my choices made behind the wheel. As a kid maybe i was just too stupid to understad the coinsequences - and as an adult I realize if I rear end that car I'm going to get sued, which would lead to x that would lead to y that would lead to the end of the universe as I know it. Grass is a tool, like any other substance. I've retaught myself how to use it for medatative purposes. Would I recommend you try to do so? Fuck no, that stuff is illegal for a reason mister. It will teach you how senseless your life as a cog really is. It could show you the controls to the machine are really distraught leperkuans, attempting to hide their gold in plain sight. Only the gold is not gold at all, it's peace and happiness, its the complete lack of "keeping up with the Jones" These emotions lead to a break down of society as we know it - and certainly even I understand one can't be a success if one is not part of the game. in order to gain happiness in our world you must work the 9 to 5 so you have enough dough to buy the latest gaming console, not to mention the electrictry to turn the thing on, you'll also need all the latest attachments and perhpials to get the most use out of it. Which takes money, and time. But you won't have any time, working the 9 to 5 - so you'll collect of the plastic you can, as a hopes that the pile of shit you push to the curb each friday morning is a monument for all to see that symbolizes your importance. You'll instinctivly understand that you must have the biggest pile of garbage in order to matter. Grass will destory that story - grass will show you that this monument you create for yourself is just garabage, and you've been stuck in a maze with no exit your entire life. You're right, you shouldn't do any sort of drug at all - you should just listen to the commercials, and and the glossy magazine pages which promise that feeling thats been eluding you.
I'll be honest with you.. The first time I smoked weed was interesting, but not that fun. Now it's great. I only smoke about once a fortnight.. It's true that it affects people differently, and it does depend on the weed, your mood before hand, your company, and your surroundings. Only do what you want to do.