hey guys havent posted on here in a while, but thought i need to because i am getting depressed again. This is my situation so far, was with a women for four years, after a year i told her i was having really strong thoughts about men. i just dont mean one every other hour. i mean every minute ov the day which was disturbing my life in a sense i was unable to work properley. was unable to go out, because when i say every minute ov the day i mean every minute. So anyway i told her i was gay, and she said i wasnt, as i had girlfriends in the past and the way i was in bed with giving her oral sex, and just the way i use to be with her in bed. Now these thought became that bad i had to go to the doctors, they put me on medication and sent me to a therapist, as there is more to my problems i was having sexual thoughts about my family, and please dont be disturbed by this next comment as i am in therapy for this, and my therapist knows about all this, but was having thoughts about kids aswell. so i was diagnosed with OCD because i had to do rituals and do stupid tests and stuff like that. Anyhow i am not with this women anymore, as i am with another women now who is my age. now i have only slept with her a few times but cannot seem to climax. now i think that is due to the tablets as anti depressants apparently have those sort of side effects. but anyhow while sleeping with her i started imagining being with a man, and felt no disgust like i use to when this first started. and my thoughts are still there all the time ov men, doing sexual things to them, oral, anal, being with a man in general. Just dont know where i am at the moment and feel very lonely, i am at the lowest of my life at the moment. getting upset while writing this, few tears, so any advice would be great. sorry for the punctuation.
Hey man. Sex is like food, everyone has their own food and we love to share by mixing ingredients. I believe you are a very sexual person, who had a sexual childhood too. You are trying to 'stop' thinking about sexual thoughts, but dont take sexual thoughts as something that reflects who you are. EVERY thought in your mind is about pleasure and survival and what you need is to know this, over and over, eventually you will have control of your thoughts. Know one thing - your thoughts are not you, because a thought always depends on a goal of some sort. YOU, HAVE goals, you already know them. Your thoughts are OPTIONS, options on how to achieve your goals. This is to me why you are upset and severly depressed - you know that these thoughts are useless, but something just keeps bringing you back to them. My question is; can these compulsive thoughts bring you pleasure in regards to some goal you have about sex, for example. These compulsive thoughts are much like the compulsive thoughts we have about money. They are of the same kind, but they have different goals in mind. So man, are they useful, is putting time and energy into focusing on them going to bring you anything that you dont already have? If not, dont think about them. Another thing, dont let go of this experience and dont try to overcome it - Learn from it, it may just bring you an ability that you can apply to other things in life, such as career, friendship, emotional intellectuals.
Hey UKPoker; You're good! Face it, you've got problems that are not connected with sex. The docs are helping. One day you'll have yourself figured out, be ok, and feel a lot better. Then the only problem you'll have will be sex. Face it; we all have problems with sex. Never quite able to figgure out some of the feelings. Normal! As a desire it never goes away - which is also a problem. As to who to have sex with,try both sides. You have this tremendous desire for sex with a man. Try it! Good gosh man, it might solve half your difficulties. You are absolutely correct about the antidepressant medicines. They ruin your libido as fast as a rotten crotch! Try to get off 'em as fast as you can. Damn docs never tell us at the beginning. You sound hung up on sex with a guy, don't be. If it works for you, go with it. More likely you are one of humanity who loves sex, wherever it comes from: your hand, a woman, a man, thoughts....so do it! A guy's gotta have some enjoyment in life. If you try it and the pills keep you 'unfulfilled' at least you can keep going all nite and the partner will think you're supersexman! Try to keep a sense of humor to view the world. Good luck man! A couple of us are pulling for you. Look at it as your fan club. Tell us a little about yourself. I'll keep checking back here to hear more about your little journey. The best news is that you are well enough to come on here and share your burden. We'll help as best we can!!!
cheers guys for the emails, some of the best replies i have ever heard. meaning no one telling me what i am and who i am, just trying to offer guidance and i appreciate that. Due to me being a very strong minded person these days due to all my issues i am able to read and appreciate peoples advice to me. especially the first reply to me whih was nice and also the second. cheers all
Well, I mean, she knows this from what, all the other gay guys she's slept with? Number of girlfriends, being any good at oral or hetero action has nothing to do with the amount of images of guys cocks popping into your head every minute of every day. Dont go to your ex on advice on whether you are gay, she'd have no idea, she's neither gay nor male
I believe your bisexual, with repressed sexual thoughts about men that you attempt to repress and by doing so, the become excessive and useless.
but if i was repressing them change happens wouldnt i know this. i just cant stop thinking about it every day, and it has being everyday for the last 5 years now. now this is the stage i am at when i think ov guys. i see some guys and think wow he is nice, then automatically will picturing sexual things. now its nbot fun for me because everything turns sexual and dont want that. its like every guy, and i use to get it with old men aswell and kids for fuck sake, which scared the hell out ov me. Like i said i am in therapy for it. But i have being on gay porn and the whole kissing a guy and being with a man doesnt really do it for me. its the whole me recieving anal sex and getting that sensation that women feel when the get anal. like what is so enjoyable about it. now my ex used a dildo on me and i hated it. I am with a girl now, and just dont feel like wanting sex at all. Just dont know whats going on anymore. Need serious help. Did any ov u guys sleep with women, how did u feel when u realised it wasnt for you. what do feel when u see women and men in a sexual way. Sorry for the punctuation just had to get it off my chest
"i just cant stop thinking about it every day" This is the problem. This line of thinking is. If you try to 'stop' thoughts, your minds complete focus goes to that thought pattern. To prove this to think about a color, then try and STOP that color from coming into your mind, as hard as possible. Look at the outcome and adjust your perspective to your advantage. At this point you have nothing to loose, your at your wits end, because you know these thoughts are useless, because thoughts are meant to bring you pleasure, directly or indirectly.
