Alright I think my isolation has actually done me some good. I careless about what people think of me, because I haven't been involved with the many hateful, gossiping youth groups out there. I think I respect the company of people now more then I did before. When you lose your friends you begin to understand how much you were taking advantage of them. My ideas are more self grounded and individualistic. My appreciation of myself has grown. So now I feel it is time that I begin to resocialize myself with people. I'm nineteen years old and live in Phoenix, AZ. I'm going to college right now but was just fired from my job. I've had difficulty meeting people with similar interests. I'm borderline introvert (INFP personality) but still love the company of close friends. I don't suffer the social anxiety I used to back in high school. But right now I want to be a little picky on whom I surround myself with. I've tried to meet people at raves and met a few. Some of them seemed like they had a lot of potential being kind souls, but their ugliness showed later when I saw how cruel they could be to their own friends. Hypocrisy is natural when you are young, but I would prefer to be around people whom respect their own friends. I'm wondering where I should go to find people with similar interests. It has felt really difficult but I know these people are out there. I want to love my friends, not so I can be loved back but so I can support other people in any way I can. I want to sit in the grass and marvel at the clouds. I want to drop some acid with a few people and venture deeper into our existence. I just want to be around people who have respect for themselves and love for all that is life. But it feels like Phoenix is so materialistic. Most people want to go to the mall or franchises and spend their money on worthless things. So I'm wondering how should I meet people that I may enjoy? I can't move out of Phoenix with my current situation. I'm obviously not going to meet people by sitting in my house reading. But I don't see myself meeting any body by walking through the malls or down Mill Ave. on a Friday night when I'm not even old enough to drink. Any advise would be appreciated. If I have to be, I can be patient a little longer until more people mature, but I'd really like to be around more people that I like, especially women.
I dunno... take up a sport or hobby - anything collaborative. I met my wife in Aikido class. I have made friends both there and in Kali class. You like reading - maybe hang out in the local library? And you can choose to cultivate compassion towards everyone - including those you don't like. I'm not saying pretend or force yourself to like everyone; just know that everyone has qualities you will not like just as you have qualities no one - not even you - likes. Realize that there is no us and them, me and other people. There is only people, there is only us. You don't have to like or associate with every single one of us - indeed it may not be healthy.
About these parts: and... About the first, that would depend upon what tose specific interests are. Sharing a few of those might make that a little easier for a good answer to be given. I think for the second, just go back to the first. Finding people whose company you enjoy will, IMO, have a lot to do with finding people who share interests with you. So, with a little help as to what those interests are, someone may be able to give you a better answer. About these: This sounds like you say you were taking advantage of your friends. But there still seems to be animosity directed in general at other people: and The last does not sound respectful of others hopes, desires, and feelings. Something worthless to you may not be worthless to them for reasons that they hold important. But, do you care for the feelings of others and the things that matter to them? The former sentences do not have that sound. I am just asking because I sense some lingering animosity and I think it might be important to watch that and keep it in check or you may end up with the same feelings of 'worthlessness' toward anyone that you happen to be fortunate enough to meet. So, what are the things that interest you with regard to hobbies (sports, movies, music, etc.) and where do you think you can go to meet others of like mind? Also, ensure that you are willing to overlook the shortcomings of others because we all have them in spades. I hope that helps.
couchsurfing.com awesome bunch.. all over the world.. events every week. Check out the Phoenix group, they will be sure to make you feel welcome.
try this on for size.. http://www.azrhythmconnection.com/drum_circles.htm Burning Bush Drum Circle: When... First Friday night of each month 7P. Where..7th Avenue and Montecito in Central Phoenix Cost... Free Facilitator : Frank Thompson, AZ Rhythm Connection The AZ Rhythm Connection is pleased to announce and support a great new drum circle in Phoenix. This outdoor circle is fast becomming the best open outdoor circle in the valley. The event is every first friday of the month. There are drummers, fire spinners and tribal and belly dancers. This is a family friendly circle and was recently featured by local Channel 3 as part of the Phoenix Art Walk. Check out the interview. Everyone is invited to play, dance and pretty much do what comes naturally. There are other spots with art, food and vendors. This is becoming a great stop along the Art Walk on the old Melrose Curve in central Phoenix. The location is at Montecito and 7th AVE. (not STREET). Hope to see you all there. Drumming starts as early as 7P. The AZ Rhythm Connection joins the jam to facilitate at 8P. also these.. http://www.azrhythmconnection.com/usdrumcircles.htm Phoenix/Scottsdale/Mesa: • Monthly Circle at Desert Song Yoga in Central Phoenix 8:30P - 10P This circle started in August of '04 and has turned out to be a big hit. Come and enjoy the fun. Circle is facilitated by Frank Thompson. $10 Donation. • Sunday Night at the Gentle Strengtht Co-op with Bill Godwin. The longest running drum circle in Phoenix. This circle rocks every Sunday evening from 7p - 9p. The location is 234 West University Drive,Tempe, Arizona Call: (480) 968-483. This is a free event.
I do still have my own shortcomings I need to get through. But I guess what I am trying to say is that when I am in the company of others I hold my criticisms and usually try to keep a positive, optimistic outlook. I am very supportive to my friends and acquaintances I have now, and I always am trying to make the extra mile to get people together to do things. Although often it seems that they turn their back on me the next day. My cynicism comes later when I am by myself. I am very sensitive and brood often on the actions of others and frequently forget to work on my own issues. I even go as far as to frustrate myself thinking of the how my friends treated me in high school, when that shit should have no effect on me any longer. I logically believe that life is relative, each and every one of us are the same, because one day I have been destructive to a person and the next day they have done the same to another, we are all Jesus and Judas alike. It is only a matter of where in our limited time on the earth we have done these things. But emotionally, I need to ground my own two-faced ideas a little better. It is difficult to see the light in men when so many do things that are tearing the world apart. Yes one's junk is another man’s treasure, but if it requires a child in a third world country to work in horrible conditions for a couple of dollars a day, there is little justification for ones actions. Going to clubs has shown me what so many of my youth really respect, degradation to women and lack of critical thinking through conformism. I suppose these things make it difficult for me to take the extra step and respect individuals for who they are. An obvious answer is not to surround myself with these types of people, but that is exactly the point of this thread, where do I find these people? I think I believe that if I begin to accept people for who they are, I will lose myself and conform to popular non rational ideas. It is quite tiresome going through these issues for ten years now, ever since I was a child. This shows that whatever I am doing is quite unsuccessful and needs rethinking. I just hope I don’t give up and isolate myself further.
This is awesome. I have always wanted to do a drum circle. I am taking drum lessons right now so it would be great to do this plus meet people. Thank you for taking the time to find that. I will definitely check it out.
I may get a lot of groans here, but try okcupid.com I'm not kidding. I've made tons of FRIENDS on there, and one eventually DID lead to love
