For the ladies: dealing with perverts at nude beaches

Hi,

Here are some ways that you can deal with perverts and idiots who go to nude beaches, following a poster on the previous thread being put off by them.

1) Take a picture of them with your camphone and email it to the local police.

2) If they are walking around displaying a hard-on say "My son uses larger worms than that for his fishing!"

3) If you're in a group with two or more friends, rush him, grab him by his arms and legs and dunk him into the water till he begs for mercy. Then let him out and give him a standing ovation.

4) If a guy comes up to you offering you to use suntan oil, hold up the bottle and squeeze it out into his face and say 'there's the most important part you missed!'

5) If a guy positions himself in front of you to look between your legs, kick sand at him or open your legs up quickly and say "You've had your look mister, now piss off and go home or else you can pay me $150 for an hour!" Actually, one lady did that on an unofficial nude beach many years ago and the guy got really embarrassed and left.

6) Hold a mirror up to the sun in the guy's direction if he starts to stare at you.

Remember, don't get angry: get even. Show everybody that nudist women are strong minded people and don't take any bullshit from anybody.

 

Everyone has their own definition of what a "pervert" is. I believe any woman who goes to a nude beach and doesn't realize that there will be men there wanting to look at her naked body, is terribly naive.

So, is the guy who walks slowly past and gives admiring looks at a woman's body a pervert? Is the guy who puts his towel down near-by and looks over occasionally a pervert? And is the guy who privately tells your husband that he thinks you have a great body a pervert?

And is the guy who finds himself with a hard-on, even if doesn't want one, still a pervert? It is inevitable that young men will get erections under such circumstances. The best way to handle them is to ignore them, or to at least treat them with humor, but never with anger or confrontation.

 

i kinda agree. erections can be somewhat difficult to control.

 

I don't mind people looking, but I certainly mind men leering and being overly obvious about it. It's one thing to just let your eyes wander, it's quite another to follow me around with a boner or make lewd comments/gestures. Put it this way: if you are rude about it, I'll let you know and you'll wish you stayed home that day.

I have to also say it highly depends on the woman. Some women may be (justifiably so) more offended by men's conduct than others, some less. Lately I find myself more and more drawn to "playing on an all-girl team", so I find myself less tolerant toward male antics. But that's all personal experience of course.

 

There is a difference between glancing and gawping. If men stopped gawping and controlled any erections there would be more women on nude beaches.

Dario's ideas seem good ones.

 

This is probably off topic, but I'm going to say it anyway.

To all you women whose days have been ruined by creeps: I sympathize. (Actually, having had to fend off a determined gay admirer or two, I can empathize.) But I also beg mercy. Nude beaches can be tough for single guys. Everyone knows what we're there for, nobody trusts us. Sure, we know we'll be fine as long as we curl up in a corner with a good book and keep to ourselves. (In fact, that's usually how I play it.) But, darn it, every once in a while, we're bound to feel ambitious enough to try to chat someone up.

All I ask from you ladies is that you learn to spot the difference between a real predator and a lonely sad sack who wouldn't hurt a fly, but who's also totally clueless when it comes to selling himself. Yes, I know -- the second type, being far more common than the first, poses a likelier threat to your mental feng shui. And yes, losers can be even more annoying than creeps. Dealing with a creep will at least get your adrenaline flowing; putting off a Napoleon Dynamite clone may bore you into something approaching a coma.

It's also true that insecure guys are geniuses when it comes to working a girl's conscience. We know you don't want to kill our egos completely; if we play our cards right, you'll give us up to ten unearned minutes of your time just so's you won't end up feeling like bitches. I admit -- this is sneaky, and it's wrong. But as they say, all's fair in love and war.

So by all means, defend your personal space against us. But please, stick to conventional weapons. The curt answer, the bored look, the impatient grunt -- we know what all these mean. A sustained barrage will drive even the most determined among us back to his hole in shame. For the love of God, no pepper spray or handguns or threats to call the cops or boyfriends (real or imaginary). There really is room enough on the beach for all of us.

 

I mean this with every respect, but why should it bother anyone? I mean if it is blatant, and I mean really blatant, then by all means get in a huff if someone stares at you.

But each time you shower, you will be naked, when you dress, naked. You have the opportunity to see yourself in your birthday suit in the comfort of your own home. So why strip off in public unless you want someone to see you doing so? I mean, you know you will get looks, whether you are on a nudist beach or not.

I am not trying to make out anyone is an exhibitionist or anything of that sort, and I am no nudist myself. Just my thoughts on everything, maybe i'm just naive to how bad people can be.

 

My preceding rant nothwithstanding, I really can see where these people are coming from. They want to have fun in the nude, and it's impossible to have fun if you feel threatened. Safety is a basic human right, so it makes perfect sense that they would pick each other's brains for safety tips.

My only concern is that they observe the distinction between feeling threatened and merely feeling underwhelmed. Just because the guy who's come up to ask the time happens not to be Prince Charming, doesn't make him a meance to public morals, and he deserves not to be treated like one. Of course, making such distinctions may be difficult when you're naked, and therefore feeling more vulnerable than usual. But I maintain it's both doable and worth doing. If attracting unattractive men is your cross, you might as well bear it nobly, rather than whacking the poor slobs in the balls with it.

 

yes all of the above are perverts

 

I don't think all of the above are perverts, but many are, hence my support for much of what Dario suggested. It seems more commonplace in the UK than in other parts of Europe when I've been to nude beaches or saunas. It's sad that such behaviour happens, and when it does it should be challenged. There will be some who offend out of ignorance yes, but alot know what they are doing.

 

I remember once a young guy was strutting around with a stiffy on Brighton beach. A group of women burst out laughing and one said "Don't choke on it love!"

 

I once threatened a guy to kick him in his nuts if he doesn't bugger off. Another time (but this is years ago) i even grabbed a guy's scrotum and sqeezed it hard until he promised to piss off (but i head two men at my side, so i didn't have to fear a struggle). Both times the dumbasses were obviously watching naked children plyaing at the beach. And both time it worked ;-)

 

I think this is a tempest in a teapot. I've never been bothered by "perverts" on a beach, nor have any of my women friends. I'm not saying it never happens, just that it's never come up in my experience. I suspect the whole issue is more about men wanting to justify getting an erection on the beach than anything else, or wanting to put women down if they complain, but that's just my opinion.

Here's a little secret ... women get harassed a lot more in the workplace than they do on the beach. It's not something that comes up in normal conversation all that often, but when it has, almost every woman I know has a story to tell about some asshole in her office with roaming hands or leering comments. But they rarely if ever report it, because they'll get harassed even more for being a "snitch" or a "man-hater."

I have a good friend whose boss actually said to her ... "what's the matter, honey? Don't you like men?" You learn pretty quick just to shut up and deal with it the best you can.

Sorry ... didn't really mean to go off on workplace harassment. But beach harassment is a non-issue compared to that.

 

Caliente- I think you're right about problems in the workplace being more commonplace. Such behaviour is not acceptable wherever it happens- on a beach you may feel more able to respond in a blunt manner such as Dario advocates.

 

number 6) is the best one!

Isn't it funny that in our species it's the men who look at the women, not the other way around? Causes so many problems!

 

Why do people do this? It's incredibly rude!

You think we have complete control of our erections? They can happen involuntary, and when your surrounded by naked women it's hard (pardon the pun) not to get one. Sorry for being human!

 

Very well said. This not only applies at nude beaches, but in any public arena. I've been approached by many guys at nude beaches - some with erections and some without - and I've always found it easy to determine if one is the "predatory" type. Most are harmless, shy guys who just happen to unintentionally come across the wrong way. I think it's how you respond to them that will bring out their true colors and show their real intentions.

But putting that aside, I've found the best way to avoid having to deal with men of any kind is to bring a male friend of yours.
~Tina

 

Sure we don't have total control of erections, but we do have control over whether we parade around showing it off to everyone.

 

could you see that he was indeed strutting his stuff and not just going for a walk?

 

If a guy was strutting around with a stiffy; take it to heart that just maybe
he was out there trying to get an all-over tan


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