Aright so this is how i roll. I think that everyone just plays a silly game of personality dick measuring contests, girls look for the funny guys that have something exciting about them. I used to be a funny kid, before i was like 13 i would always make people laugh by being myself. But then, the next phase i became very self aware, every suttle thing that happens while i exist just happens hardcore to the very center of me. This has taken away most of my natural humor, and has taught me the truth that society is way too caught up in their own game of bs. Mabey a part of me thinks that all of the drama that happens is too annoying/ not worth my time. Now with all that bs that has gone through my head, i am a pretty boring person to talk to, because i honestly don't find value in the whole concept. I know that girls notice me for my looks, thats tight, but if personality is everything to a girl, then i don't care about anything. I have complete confidence to approach anyone, its just that once i aprroach someone, i can't give two shits less about having some conversation that i have to actually come up with things to say. Before somebody says "be yourself" yeah yeah i get the point and it makes sense, but its bs because the way i think, i could literally be anyone i want to be, my mind thinks about so much, that its a pain in the ass to pick out what to make a part of me and what to ignore. All i wanted to ever do is drive and snowboard, i wish there was a girl that was like me in that way.
well i'm not a "real time" person. creating and exploring are what i value. but it hurts me too when i make someone feel unhappy, which i don't ever mean to. for me, part of my avoiding people is to avoid making them feel unhappy, which i've noticed my refusal to deceive myself in ways others seem to expect each other to, often baffles, angers, or makes them unhappy. but for me its not mostly about avoidance at all. rather, all of the things i enjoy doing, pretty much take doing by myself. that's where i really get the pleasure out of them with no one else's insistence on their assumptions and perceptions getting in the way of doing so. i like hugs too though. just not so much of the time that it interferes with my creating and exploring.
I suppose if you ask the right people, all of human accomplishment can more or less be analyzed down to people trying to get other people to go down on them. But just have fun and don't worry about it, bro-ham.
Wow, this sounds fuckin exactly like I wrote it. But man, Ramona's right, I've been trying to do that (what she said) and it's actually pretty damn easy. See what it boils down to is maybe being a little afraid to be yourself. You can act and be all those things you talked about, just do them. Don't think about 'which part you want to take' to be yourself. Just do whatever you feel in any situation and thats you being yourself. Eventually someone will like you for whoever you are, and when she plays with your cock, you know on a romantic level, it'll be way better because you'll feel closer.
There is. There's a few, actually. There's people for all kinds of people, giving a shit about what they say would be a good start to finding what you seek. And this. Enjoy other people. They're all interesting and have good stories, but some times you have to look more closely than others.
Thanks guys, that helped out. It seems like my brain is gonnah be working the same way, so i'm always gonnah be thinking alot no matter what, the only thing i can do is try to teach myself how to focus on the present situation and be open minded to let the outcomes flow.
Yeah, it seems like im being myself more if i don't try to get in some random conversation, and just be there. Its easier to talk about things that matter to me, its just hard to think about what to talk about so instead of saying nothing i would just say the first bit of crap that comes to mind. I fucking hate trying to be something im not, and it seems like society wants me to be something i'm not, so i feel as though i just am gonnah be at the situation, introduce myself perhaps, but just act how i want to act. I think this is the key for me, and if people don't like me cause i'm boring, well i don't give a fuck. Its just fun being around people though either way.
I really don't mean to sound patronizing man, but as you grow this will level out. So don't think too much about it
Society likely does want you to be something you're not...or could give a shit less about you. Either way, that doesn't matter. Just be yourself. Being yourself is finding what makes you comfortable and just flowing with it. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, you'll find your place. The only truly lonely people are only lonely because they choose to be that way.
When you learn to slow down your thoughts a little you will be able to relate to everyday people and have bullshit conversations with ease. You might even enjoy it. Sometimes bullshit is our only connection with humanity, you need to accept that fact and be patient while you wait for those very real, 'stream of consciousness' conversations that come along once in a blue moon.
