Having babies

I know many of you won't agree with me here, but I'm still posting this.
Do you think that it's right for underage (under 18) children or for teens of 18 and 19 having babies?
I'm asking you, does a child need to have a baby?
You'll probably say that you're not a child after 12.
And should a teen raise a child right? definitly not (99%), because she/he doesn't have enought life experience, and after all it would be boring for her to look after a child, wouldn't it?
And after all she/he wants to play and have fun when she/he is a teenager..
If you ask me, 20 is too early too. And 24/25 is normal age for having a child.
What's your opinion?

 

I can't stand underage girls having kids. It's just so stupid. Seeing how pricky and immature so many in my age groupe act. They think they're adults and that sex is a must! WTF??? I'm still a vergin, don't even have a boyfriend yet...

 

here the legal sex age is 16, so it is more accepted now for teenagers over 16 to have children of their own.

But what really freaks me out is that girls around the age of 11 and 12 are starting to have sex. Now thats spooky.

 

Of course I do not agree with teenagers having children. Sometimes, even those around my age and older are not even ready. Having children takes A LOT of self sacrifice, and sadly, you see in the news that this is something most people are not ready for.

Many individuals do not even grasp basic concepts involved when having children. For one, you should be able to provide for a child. I am not saying you should be rich, but it is incredibly irresponsible to get pregnant when you cannot afford adequate care. Secondly, many individuals do not understand that every single thing they do has an influence on their children. I wish that human growth and development was a required course. Last, but certainly not least, children need to be raised in a two parent home. Psychologists have reported that children who grow up in single parent homes are more likely to have trouble in school and abuse drugs, among other things. (Sorry, I do not have the accurate statistics on those, I would have to ask one of my Psychology professors). Now, I am not saying that raising a child on your own makes you a terrible parent, however, children need both a mother and a father figure in their lives.

I am angered at seeing too many children being put into difficult situations, and having to go through horrible ordeals because their parents simply just wanted to have sex.

 

why ask, seems you just want people to agree with you since you've already answered your own question

 

It completely depends on the culture.

In our culture I don't think teenage girls are ready for children. Some have made wonderful mothers, but too many do not. But I think too many women of any age have children when they aren't prepared to put what it takes into raising them. I don't think anyone should have a kid who plans on just shoving it in a day care until it get's into school, regardless of their age. Or women that have kids to keep their marriage together (my step-mother is one like that, and as a result she has 5 kids between two dead-beat dads - and is trying to have more with my father) There is a lot more to parenting than just a woman's age.

 

Well, I had my first baby when I was 17 yrs old.. I only have 2 children and both of them have the same father.. When I found out that I was pregnant I thought that I was to young but my mother's resolution to the situation was to give "my" child to her and that just was not going to happen. Anyways, I decided to raise my child and he is now 5 yrs old and in my opinion doing fairly well.. I feel that I am a good mother although I definitely could have waited. I really don't think that young girls should have babies but, some do okay with it! I personally feel that if my mother had taken time out of her selfish life style to speak with me about motherhood and life I would have been more careful..

 

I had my first child when I was 18 years old. Having a child, no matter what age, depends heavily on the person and their psycological and maturity level. I know of some 28 year old women who have children that shouldn't even be allowed to raise pets. So age really doesn't matter. I am 21 now, and my second child is going on two. They both have the same father and we have been married for almost four years. We are in the process of buying our first home, and we own two cars. We are both currently employeed, and though we may not be as well off financially as some people in their 30's, we are doing a lot more then some people in their 30's. It seems when you made this thread, you already made up your mind as to what you think about 'children raising children' and was just looking for someone to support your beliefs. I do not. It is true that in our culture, teenagers having babies is frowned upon, but in other cultures where having children at 14 or 15 is normal because by then they are already married. You continue to have life experiences throughout your life, and no matter what your age, whether it be 16 or 26 you are still growing and learning as a person. There is no such thing as a 'normal age' for having children. That is a stigmatism put out there by those that are narrowminded. If a person is mature enough and able to handle and embrace the responsibilty of having children, within reason, then more power to them. I was doubted and talked about when I became pregnant at 17, but I proved a point to all of those doubters. Try thinking outside of the box for once.

 

If having children at 14-15 was so abnormal for humans than our bodies wouldn't allow it. What we accept as normal for marriage or childbearing is completely up to our culture. There is no absolute when it comes to what's "right" and "wrong" when it comes to what age we have children. Great post Echo!

 

Lord. Not everyone is that immature, and if they are they're not going to grow out of it anyway.

 

I think some people aren't ready to have kids well into their 30s. Some people are never ready. However, a friend of mine had a son when she was 17, and she's a wonderful mother. My parents were 19 and 20 when they had their first child (my brother Adam), and they were (and are) great parents to all three of us.

It depends on the person, and it depends on their maturity.

That being said, I do not feel that it is my place to tell people when they are ready to have children.

 

Echo, I really enjoyed your post. Thumbs up sister! I agree that people's biological age often has very little, if anything at all, to do with their maturity/responsibility levels.

I do have to say this though: often I feel sad for a lot of the women, not so much because they have kids and they're still young, but often because they are visibly demonstrating irresponsibility, in their parenting skills. Again, I realize this can happen with any parent at any age, it's just something I have observed. I am NOT trying to trash young mothers though - I think it takes a lot of courage, and I have a lot of respect for them. I just worry when I see some sixteen year old girl with a baby, standing on the sidewalk late at night, smoking (whatever?) with a bunch of sketchy looking guys or something, you know? I think in a significant amount of cases, the reality of "I'm a parent" doesn't really set in. But if you're prepared to be a parent, and be responsible, then the age at which you have your child shouldn't be any concern.

 

Like a lot of people have already said, it really depends on the woman who is pregnant, not necessarily their age. My mom had me when she was 21... I was an accident, and she was (and still is) quite a bit of a teenager at heart, but I still turned out pretty darn well, despite my parents splitting when I was 5. My grandma had my dad when she was 16 (well, technically two days into being 17), but she had been taking care of her sisters since she was like 8 (parents worked/farmed). I think that if the woman genuinely loves her child and is willing to bust her butt to make that childs life a good one, and has at least a halfway decent support network around her, the kid will turn out well.

 

I agree with you. I married very young...16 he was 17 we had our first child at 18 and 19 and our second at 20 and 21 and our last baby just under two years ago. She'll be two in December. I think if you are ready to give up your own life for at least a good two years lol! And assume responsibility then I guess you are old enough. It really does depend on the person. My mother wanted to have 12 kids and never should have had any. lol! I think it would have been much better to wait too and I would never suggest anyone have children that young. It was really hard to go to college with a one and three year old and run a household as well. You should be proud of yourself, because people who get together so young do not often stay together and work to raise thier children together. I am very proud of my children and not at all sorry for them! Both my kids are A and B students who love school and seem happy and well adjusted. The two year old is a tyrant, but aren't they all??? lol! Good luck to you Middlesista! Keep on keeping on

 

It all boils down to the maturity level of the mother and/or father to be. Age is only a number, and a younger parent who sacrafices and cares for her/his child, provides a stable life for them, and gives them the most important thing of all, which is unconditional, never-ending love, then I don't see how an older individual is any better at being a parent than a younger one.

I was engaged at 19, married at 20, and had my first son at the age of 21, and my twins at the age of 24. My husband was 25 at the time of our first son's birth, and 28 when we had our twins. He is now 30, and I am 26.

I never once regret having a baby at a young age. I never once felt, or feel, like I missed out. I quit my job to become a full-time stay-at-home mother so that I could be the parent that both my husband and I wanted for our children. I love my children more than anybody could possibly imagine and would do absolutely anything for them.

I know of quite a few indivuduals that could have, in no way, been a good parent regardless of what age they had they babies. I know of many that should have never had a child, and the ages are well above my husband's.

While it's not desirable for young, unwed parents to have babies, what matters is whether they truly care and love their child. That's the bottom line.

Judging young parents is unfair. Some of them just might be the best parents you'd ever meet. I know I make mistakes, everyone does, but I do know that I am one damn good mommy.

 

I know people in their 30's that still aren't ready for kids, and people in their 20's that have kids and can hardly raise them. Likewise, I know 16 year olds that are great mothers. It totally depends on the person. Some people are ready at 13 and some are never ready. I say, as long as the parents are good at being parents than it's really none of anyone's business how old they are. Why does it matter? A good parent is a good parent and a bad one is... bad. Not all teens want to have fun and party. I got over that when I was like 13. I'm sick of IMMATURE teenagers having babies, but I'm even sicker of 30 year-old women who have 10 kids by different men that are all in foster care and still isn't smart enough to get her friggin' tubes tied or something. And yes, being from Kentucky, I know quite a few of those. Even the immature teen cares more about her baby than the older woman who puts them all in foster care when she clearly knows how to avoid it. I'm a strong supporter of good parents of all ages.

 

I believe in a woman's right to choose but as a practical matter no. That's a terrible thing to do.

 

What's a terrible thing to do?

 

Totally agree with Vanilla faerie

I'm 19 and certainly wouldn't want a child right now. Probably could be a good mother but circumstances aren't right for it; Don't have the time, money, space, experience etc to be the best parent possible. (I'm in my first year of uni)
This age is for learning, partying and such, so I shall get that out of my system then settle down.

Two of my cousins had children when they were 17, seemed such a waste. Now they are suck with crappy jobs (one had to drop out of learning to be a vet) and have loads of trouble with their babies fathers.
Life is complicated enough at that age, certainly wouldn't want to make it harder by adding a baby into it.

 

maturity has a lot to do with it... but so does being able to afford a baby. at 16, it's generally pretty hard to find a full-time job that pays more than the minimum wage. not to mention paying the sitter while you're at work. yes, maturity has a LOT to do with it... but maturity won't pay for doctor visits or a winter coat. you can't open up a bank account or get a credit card on your own when you're 16... how are you going to write checks for the bills without a bank account, let alone afford the hospital fees? (on the other hand, though, going in debt to YOUR PARENTS rather than a credit card will definitely help in the long run... but that is competely unfair to your parents). i'm not trying to sound rude, or judgemental, so if that came across as such, i appologize.

a friend of mine had a baby at 17. she's an awesome individual and parent. the downfall, though, is that because of her age and the fact that she's still in college, she finds it really hard to afford her now 3 year old. she feels a lot of guilt, because she can't buy her daughter the toys, books and movies she wants. and she feels bad because she can't provide the same things for marilyn that a lot of other kids have. she can't afford to take marilyn to chuck-e-cheese, which seems like a silly concern, but it makes her feel like she's missing out on the full mothering experience. and then there are things like clothes, since kids grow so fast. or doctor/hospital visits, prescriptions, vaccines, etc. being able to afford a kid that young is pretty difficult, overall (for most, anyway, unless you're one of the rare kids with a high paying job).

sure, being able to afford toys, books, movies, and trips to chuck-e-cheese sounds like a pretty miniscule thing to worry about. none of them are vital. but liz is definitely hurt by the fact that she can't provide (what she calls) a "normal childhood" for her daughter. she worries that once marilyn's in school, kids won't want to come over and play because she doesn't have any "cool" toys. she worries that the other kids will make fun of her because she doesn't have new clothes. she's worried that she'll have trouble making friends. other kids might not invite her to their birthday parties, because she can't afford a gift to send with marilyn. it's a lot of little things like that, that add up.