There is a church service going on across the road from my house.

If I was to go over there after the sermon and have people pray for me, would it be evil to fake a seizure?

 

probably yes
these people are looking inwards and within each other for not only their form of "salvation"
but also for an acceptance that they can only get from these sorts of gatherings
you aren't upset at this for moral obligations
you are jealous that they can be so simplistically defined

 

http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showpost.php?p=5067737&postcount=1

read it.

make sure the seizure looks like a real seizure (there are videos on youtube)

and, go for it.

 

No, they can do whatever they like. I am no better than they are.

To a small extent.

The real fact of the matter is that I think it would be fun, I think that it would cause me to feel alive and jubilant and that faking an attack of the holy spirit would be the closest thing to having a real attack. I'm not talking about an epileptic seizure by the way, I'm talking about 'spiritual convulsions'.

I don't have the balls to do it tonight anyway, but it is something on my 'list'.

 

oh.

then speak in tongues too.


(and I'm not offended, I just want you to do it right, I'm just offended when people do it wrong.)

 

I read it. How awful, but at the same time you're saying that it is fascinating right?

Again, I don't want to do the epilepsy thing. However if I stay passed out long enough for them to worry about my well being and call an ambulance that would be a great, albeit vile achievement.

 

I used to speak in tongues. I think I could fake that as well.

What sob story should I use?

 

Well, I don't remember more than maybe two minutes of that conversation.

and there are some seizures I've had where they happened in the early morning (six am sorta thing) and I don't remember anything until 11 at night.

which is scary as fuck, but, you know.

 

borrow mine, flesh in the details you don't have.

 

Okay, I wasn't like the other kids at school and I am looking for a friend in Jesus. Good stuff.

 

I'm glad someone mentioned to speak in tongues with your seizure. I used to go to a Christian doctor and some woman in the waiting room asked if she could pray for me. I thought about doing the exact same thing.

 

everyone knows youre a heathen and cant be saved. dont even try

 

I wonder what would happen if a suicidal person went to someone who claimed to absolve sin and when the preacher layed hands on said person they proceeded to bite a cyanide capsule that was hidden in there mouth and promptly died.

The look on the preachers face would be worth 1,000 sunsets!

 

Go over there with corpsepaint on.

 

Such wonderful ideas!

 

use fake blood to made it look like you've carved a pentagram into your chest. Or actually do it.

 

That would be pure gold.

 

Fuck y'all, I'm going in drag.

 

Do it well so that everyone silently questions, "Man in drag or terribly unfortunate female?"!