I'm a Bi male, my sex is mostly with girls I would say 95%, when I find the guy that dose it to me I just go for it. The thing is, when I'm done and on my way home, in most cases I get sick just by thinking about what I have just done, I feel dirty and all sort of feeling that I never got before or during the m2m sex. and most of the time I also wished I'd never done it but, here I am doing it all over again and again. Did you ever had those feeling? am I doing something wrong? Could it be that I'm actually not really Bi, just a sex manic? or could it be something else that I should be worried about...
I think you are just over thinking it. It's just sex. Go with it and enjoy. If you really find it disgusting then stop for a while and see if you can manage without it.
Thanks for a quick reply. I was actually thinking of that as well, taking a brake of it might be a good self test. anyway just wonder if anyone else here had/has the same problem (if it is a problem)
I'd say that this happens to almost everyone at one time or the other. At first, it sounded/looked like a very good idea. It even went well but the moment you got your rocks off, the prospective changed dramatically. I believe that we are all hard-wired to experience the euphoria of it for a short time only. After all, the life must go on, and we must be able to focus on other issues at hand, too. If we only dwelt on that past experience for too long, we would not be too capable of surviving at all. Yet, cultural conditioning must have done its bit, too. You do not write about experiencing the same feeling after having had sex with females. You want to ask yourself few important questions, and grant yourself the truthful answers, too. #1 How much of that 'disgust' has to do with the notion that someone else might know that you did with other man? How important is it to you, to be perceived as a str8 dude? #2 Is there any particular part of the M2M play that ever so often reappears in your mind eye as being particularly dirty, disgusting or whatever? # 3 How do you perceive the very nature of your sexual urge? Do you see this as something both biological and natural? A need which needs to be satisfied, but which does not have to be a long-term gratifying experience? Like when you are hungry. You have a bite; it is all cool but neither disgusting nor mind shattering. Just another human need? KD
I agree. I'm a straight married man - never strayed. But when I was younger it was about sex. I enjoyed it and having someone else involved is better - male or female. I don't think most guys are thinking about a relationship when their heart starts pounding and the need comes. It's sex - it is what it is. No need to be ashamed. That guilt's gotta be coming from somewhere else in your life. You have no idea why you are feeling guilty?
That's not the issue. A:well.. I'm very picky when it come to my type of men but, sometime I end up doing it with just another guy(that makes me sick as a person). B:in most cases, I fill sick just from the smell of the sperm(sometime my own as well) C:Once its over, all I want to do is get the hell out of there. this drive me crazy, in case of a women, I would love her to stay over. I think that I can add a few more things to my list but, it will just get longer in summer I'm always horny, a free moment will always end up with me being Naughty. I just can't help it, I love sex, I love to come, with women its more of a romantic thing while with the guys its only the sex.
Sounds like you have to isolate what is irking you. Just becuase you are doing m2m stuff doesnt mean you have to do the full buffet, is their some part you feel your doing just becuase you think thats what guys do? You say your ok with before and during, but not after, which leads me to believe that it may be more about the emasculation part. Or maybe its about fear of losing interest in the girls. Or you feel you are being used as an object by these guys But only you are you, only you are really going to identify what is really troubling you. And just becuase you are inside your head and think you know yourself doesnt mean there arent things you are keeping from yourself. Long periods of deep reflection are needed. I know that last part might not make sense, but thats why its so trippy, sometimes One's self can be ones worst enemy.
It could just be post coitus guilt. I have experienced it after straight sex or even just masturbating when I was younger. It could also be because of the negative image society has of gays and m2m sex. "with women its more of a romantic thing while with the guys its only the sex." I'm the same way. I don't have romantic feelings towards men, I just get off with them. I think that is what separates gay guys from bi guys.
BTW, that would still describe me, after....hmmm what is it 22 years now, I still hate the smell, well dislike, hate is a bit strong, but yeah, it smells like concentrated chlorine or something. But I'm sure if it smelt / tasted great humankind wouldnt have gotten past certain evolutionary stages
Thanks to all of you guys here, I feel much better and guess that probably nothing is wrong with me and well.... Thinking too much about it wont make it any better.
Alfa1; Think about it! You seem to want to justify feeling bad afterwards. C'mon, sex is sex and apparently in your mind it is desirable from either gender. OK, so why the need for guilt? You are one of those who enjoy sex so much it makes no difference with whom. Good. But then punish your feelings with feelings? Were you perchance brought up in a religious home and the hangover is demanding pennance in payment to some crazy mideaval ideas?
or it could be that you're not completely sure of your preference. don't take this the wrong way, please- but the first "experience" I had with a girl, I didn't regret it or feel sick over it for a single second. but then again I knew all along who I was. like a previous poster said, take a break from it and really kinda...reflect on who you are. good luck=]
@moongazer=I'm 38 but still don't know for sure, after a big wave of m2m things I always feel that I just had too much and don't want anymore of it but then again its only last for a short while. much of my m2m act is with a straight friends and for them its just a thing :cheers2:gone before you know it. I'm so happy that I've found this forum, here in Japan one don't get to see much of Bi people, for them its gay or not! but then again most Japanese males don't really looks mens(my type of guys...) even if its via the internet I'm glad to meet you all and thanks again for all the good advice, for a while I felt lost out there but thanks to all of you, I guess I'm back on tracks. feel so good to know that somewhere over the ocean someone feel and share the same. P.S= @moongazer, if its you in that picture then.."YOU look GREAT!!!"
I agree with Lea. You are over thinking it. You post-activity feeling are do to the fact that we live in a society that tell us m2m sex is wrong. As individuals in this society we tend to believe what we are told. If we do something that society tell us is wrong, we feel bad about it. If we understand that these feeling are subjective, we can change our point of view. If we understand that we are just having fun, and if it is not at the expense of another (We are not forcing someone to do things against there will.) Then I think there is not reason to feel bad about it. Enjoy and be happy.
i feel sexier after being with a girl. for real, i like being with both. but not at the same time. i used to think it was bad, when i was younger, but i've sort of grown up and realized it's very natural and very good.
What are you more worried about? Not being true to yourself, or not being viewed a certain way by society? If it is the first, I'd say it is almost a manic episode, you get sexually frustrated and seek quality relief. This frustration builds up over time, because something more wild needs to be fulfilled. Then it gets too much and you go for whatever lets you do it. Then after it you think, why did I just do that? If it is the second, you tend to worry how you will be viewed if you do it. You avoid it over time to feel more comfortable about yourself. But in a way it is denying yourself something you are. In the end you try to break out and do it. Afterwards you think, oh no, now I'm going to be seen a certain way because I got down and dirty. And you regret it and try to rebuild the comfortable image. One solution is just let yourself do what you are compelled to, don't care about judgement and see where you feel best going. If it feels wrong to do, and it is because it clearly feels wrong for you not because of what you've been taught or what people will think, then it probably is wrong for you. Otherwise, it is probably an occasional hobby. Have some fun.
