What if the test is.......

What if the test to get into heaven is not about the Ten Commandments, but God wanted to see if you were strong enough not to fall for that.

What if you get up to the Pearly Gates and St Peters actual checklist goes something like this:

1. Could sink more than a dozen brewskies in one sitting
2. Could pull 1/2 dozen cones before falling asleep or ordering pizza
3. Shagged more than 6 Bikini models or seduced at least two College Professors
4. Returned at least a dozen library books too late
5. Still has at least 4 unpaid parking fines
6. On at least one occasion dissed both thy mother and or thy father
7. On at least one occasion shagged thy neighbour
8. On at least one occasion commited adultery with a mammal with more than two legs
9. On at least one occasion didnt take Oprah's advice
10. On at least one occasion left the toilet seat up


What if its the judgemental self righteous ones that get sent to Hell and have to watch Ben Stiller movies for all eternity (except There's something about Mary, that one was actually funny)

 

God just lets anyone into Heaven. Some people get there, and find this out, and it ruins it for them. And it's not Heaven for them. And that's judgment right there.

 

i'd slam a dozen beers with god any day

 

I'm pretty sure God is female and a stoner

 

Probably quite fat.

 

First you've got to figure out what Heaven's like. There's no pain, right? Well, then nothing ever happens there. Etc.

Slowly you realize that Heaven can't conceivably exist from any human perspective. Not eternal "Heaven" anyway. I hypothesize that worlds with pain are the best of possible worlds. So if there is a Heaven, it must have shortcomings of some sort.

But fuck actually thinking about it anyway. All anybody gives a shit about is old made up crap.

 

Sorry, explain: why are you so sure that there's no pain in Heaven?

 

I think of heaven as an eternal ideal to be approximated on earth rather than a place you go to or "get into" after death. Of course, I could be wrong.

 

I thought it was a given that Heaven is a place of pure ecstasy. I would love to hear a thoughtful description of Heaven that makes sense, logically. Why should it be any different from earth, if there is pain? It's a place you escape to.

And people who are subjected to pain on earth become "sinners" and go to Hell? Isn't that the fault of the environment rather than the people? Or is there something innate about their souls that damns them, and then, again, how is it their fault, if they were created by God that way? If the division is so clear cut, why pretend it's a test in the first place? Why even think about Heaven and Hell?

 

I've never heard that anywhere.

I hear you that Heaven is incongruous if we assume that there is some one-size-fits-all paradise that everyone will somehow like at once (rather than personalised service, which wouldn't be that hard and make more sense really). Some people want permanent, unwavering ecstasy, others would prefer an eternity of accomplishment, others prefer to battle hardship rather than be bored. Happiness is all very personal.

It's interesting what you said about it being no different to Earth. I think that would be, for a lot of people, near enough to Heaven, just to have the same life but without all the shit bits. You know, to be the same person but to have enough time to learn things and do things that you always wanted to but never had the time.

 

Yah, in my Baptist church that's what they always told us.

Your bodies are like light. NO pain, sickness, evil. You sip wine and rejoice at the people in hell, and play poker with your ancestors.

 

If the christian god was real, im sure this would be true.

 

If I was God it definitely would be.

 

For anything to exist, it must change. In order to change, it must take on forms it didn't bear previously. So if Heaven is nothing but bliss, that bliss must change eventually. It must become Hell... if only mildly.

 

Again, not totally sure that Heaven is "nothing but bliss".

 

It's actually all based on penis size:

2-4 go straight to hell

5-6 get in but are servants for the first 4000 years of their time there

7-9 get in and get their own cloud

10+ are personal servants of God

 

What, like coat pegs?

 

And the trap doors below their feet open ~

 

my perspective on after life is such

we all make impressions on people..that leaves memories, memories of us are all thats left once we pass on (left alive). Memories are dominated by peoples interpretations of us. Those memories are linked (psychiclly i assume). This etherial version of us, based on impressions of people who knew us, deems what is left of us once we die...and what is left of us controls what we experience.

It is how we treat others and how they feel about us that dictates our after life...on earth. As memories fade, all but the strongest emotions fade. Those memories may become new memories as they are recycled in peoples thoughts, we begin a new life as an infinite number of ideas that effect the entire world