what do people think of this situation?

What if there is a girl is sitting in a room by herself. she is upset because she feels out of place and unwanted because her boyfreind is flirting with someone while leaving her sitting there with no one to talk to and nothing to do. He sees her there but ignores her because he is much happier with the girl he is flirting with. He feels special knowing that the chick he is flirting with wants to have sex with him and he likes the attention. He only gets to see this chick once in a while, and besides, his girlfreind knows that it is her not the chick who is going home with him at the end of the night. he just wants to be his own person.

see its not the flirting thats the problem. its how the couple act with eachother. sure you could say that she could go and flirt with people at the same time, or be happy because her boyfreind is enjoying himself and doesnt get out much and needs to meet new people. you cant expect the boyfreind to hang off of his girlfreind all the time. both of them need space obviously.

but what should they do to fix things?

 

what sort of setting is this? a party? or is this other chick just over there, hanging out on her own?

if it's a social situation, the girl needs to learn how to have a good time and not be dependent upon her boyfriend for her happines. not flirt with others necessarily, just enjoy herself and try to have a good time. if it's not a party-type setting where she's just chillin in the other room, and the other girl is over there, hanging out with her man, then that totally changes things.

in either situation, i think this dude really needs to re-evaluate his current relationship.

it's natural that people -- even in a committed relationship -- feel attracted to othes from time to time. as long as nobody acts on that attraction, though, it's okay. you said that the guy is happier with the girl he is flirting with... thats the first reason he needs to re-evaluate his relationship.

second, he knows that his actions are hurting her. yet he doesn't care. not only that, he takes pleasure in it. that's pretty fucked up!

i think the fact that he sees this other chick "only once in a while" makes things worse. if it were some random person, at least he wouldn't see her again... thus, the girlfriend would not feel like the security of her relationship is threatened. she currently has every right to feel threatened. sure, the boyfriend is going home with his girlfriend... but the girlfriend probably thinks that he's totally thinking about the other chick when they have sex that night.

sure, he should be his own person... but that's not what's happening in this situation. he's not being independent, he's being manipulative. personally, i would be livid if my boyfriend was flirting with another girl in front of me... especially if he knows that his actions are hurting me. then again, i wouldn't be sitting in the other room crying about it, i would be confronting the other girl.

you're right, neither one of them should have to hang off of the other the whole time. but flirting with someone else, right in front of your partner, and not caring when you know it upsets them is a completely different story. this guy obviously doesn't respect his girlfriend.

"be happy because her boyfreind is enjoying himself and doesnt get out much and needs to meet new people."
are you serious?!?
she should not be happy that her boyfriend is flirting with one of his female friends, whom he wants to fuck. thats not "meeting new people," first of all. she should be happy that he's enjoying himself while he flirts with and fantasizes about another chick... right in front of her? no... that's so fucked up.

and no, she shouldn't go out and flirt with another person. fighting fire with fire only makes the flames grow. they'll quickly grow jealous and bitter.

to fix things? first, he needs to stop hurting her. even though he's his own person, his actions effect others, and he needs to take responsibility for his actions. she's certainly not helping herself by sitting alone in a room. i think instead, she should step in and remind the girl he is flirting with that SHE is the girlfriend. moping doesn't solve anything.

really, they either need to break up or learn how to communicate. his girlfriend should be his priority above any other girl (aside from his sister or mother or something).

 

Damn!! I seen this and was going to respond but lawngirl said everything I was going to say- and probably said it better!!

 

I second that... to be honest, I think a breakup is in order...

 

i don't think a break up is in order...

maybe a fight, maybe an argument, but i believe that the measure of one's caring for a relationship is shown through their perseverence in making it work... then again, i'm pretty idealistic.

If you're not happy, change it up.