Hi guys I'm new here and would like some advice. I'm confused about my sexuality since my first sexual experience. when I was 25 I was still a virgin and was adviced by friends that it's a bad idea to not know anything about sex and that I must get laid, because if I get married I will know something about sex and how to please a woman. so I decided to try it, and since I never knew how to date woman, my only option seems to be is to get a prostitude. so I did but my first experience was terrible. I think I had the wrong idea about the whole thing, I was so excited and happy until we got naked and then I noticed I had no errection. I knew there was nothing with with me as I mastrubated since I was 14, but why no errection? maybe I was tense or not comfortable or not in the mood. maybe because I didn't feel love, I heard some people cannot get an errection if they don't feel love and others don't care. with help I had an errection but it was not easy, but when we tried oral sex, I didn't feel I was enjoying it and felt it was boring, and in less than a minute my errection started getting weaker and weaker until there was no errection at all. now I thought the girl was very sexy and I liked her, so I don't know why it didn't work. after some rest we tried again and again but nothing worked and was really tiered and gave up. then she left and I rested a bit, and tried masturbating and got errection much easier than when I was with her... and orgasim as well.. I thought maybe this is just a one time thing, so I tried twice in the next years with different girls, also prostitues and got the same result, even when they did blowjobs or anything it was always hard to get or maintain an errection and I keep feeling that I am not there and that I am not enjoying myself. so I started to think I might be gay or that something is wrong with me. untill I found 1 prostitute that I was able to enjoy myself with. she was exactly the type of girl that I wanted to sleep with, the experience was much better than with the other girls but still there was a problem. durring oral sex, I start to feel my errection getting weaker so I ask her to use her hand and do what I do when I masturbate to get the errection stronger again. so oral sex alone seems not enough to maintain my errection, it seems like I enjoy a hand job more than oral sex, could this be because I masturbate a lot? I have to masturbate everyday or I won't feel satisfied ever since I was 14. in my teens I used to even do it upto 3 or 4 times a day, nowdays usually once and sometimes twice, I am 36 now. I also have some strange fantasies while masturbating, like pretending to be a woman and touch my own breats a lot while doing a hand job. why do I enjoy my breasts being touched? why does it feel so good? is that a normal thing for a man? I heard some men like to be penetrated via anal but are not attracted to men and they are actually are hetrosexual. for me I am not interested in anal penetration, but I like to be touched on my breasts a lot. One day, I was in a cab, and a gay male cab driver started hitting on me. he said I am beutifull and stuff like that, and started touching my breasts.... he was butt ugly and unattractive to me, but the feeling of his hand on my breast was making me so horney, so I could not stop him I frooze... he then moved his hand around my body and on my tummy, and thies and then I stoped him and got out of the car. durring that day I was feeling very horney and hot and thinking about that situation. why would I feel so horney and hot if someone I am not attracted to tocuhes me like that? there must be something wrong with me... I also felt my anus wanting to be penetrated that day, just for that day, normally I do not get these feelings.. Somestimes I wish I was a woman, I don't know why. but that does not mean I am interested in men, if I had a choice I would love to be a lesbian. also I cannot even consider being with another man, even if I was actually gay because of my religius beleafs, so I guess I will never really know.... but to my knowledge I have never been emotionally or pshysically attracted to a man, only woman. however sometimes but rarley, when a man is being extra nice to me I do get that special kind of feeling that I sometimes confuse for love or attraction, I feel my hands are very light and in a state of uphoria or something... What do you guys think could I be Gay? or just a freak of nature?
Sounds like asexual to me Not every guy has the same libido, its like a range, just the fact that you can make it to 25 still a virgin seems to suggest that you are in that bottom quarter at least of the libido range. You might think you are just as horny as other guys but you cant gauge that by what they say cos they are all talk You are definately not one type of gay, otherwise you would have been thinking of guys very early on and whacking off like crazy to the NFL at 15 The breast thing also makes me think its asexual as that seems to be more of an errogenous zone than down south. The taxi driver story doesnt help, not enough detail at what type of gay guy he was. So, yeah, I'm going to go with asexual, but really the whole fun is in working out yourself what you are
vanilla, thanks for your reply it's interesting what you say. I acutally read about asexuals and browsed a forum that's related to that, but when I learned a little bit more about them I noticed there is a very wide range of them, some of them don't have any libido and some mastrubate everyday, like me. I don't know if masturbating a lot means you have a libido do you think that it is related or not? what is errogenous? I don't have any detail about the taxi guy, he was from india i think, black and very obese, and he said I am very beutifull, our encounter was only for 2 or 3 minuts so don't know much about him.
the way to go really I think would be just take a couple of weeks to go around, maybe watch different types of porn, see what gets ya going and what doesn't and go from there. Not very constructive I know, but all I can suggest. Good Luck!
hmm when it comes to porn I like lesbian stuff lol, and sometimes man and woman, pregnant is also interesting ( Yes I know it's sick lol ).. I tried watching man on man anal but it was not interesting at all, it was actually scary I would be really worried about being part of something like that, I even felt guilty for just watching it... EDIT: the interesting thing is when I see a man on woman, I fantasize about being in-place of the woman not the man, which is very confusing for me, I don't understand why it happens, it just happens. and when looking at lesbians I fantisize about being the women that is being cuddled or sucked, not the one doing the stuff..
Do you think all this is solely a gender issue on your part? I'm thinking transgender. You do have a libido because you masturbate daily...but you fantasise about being a woman and having your breasts touched and being penetrated. The prostitutes didn't do it for you because the focus was on them sucking your cock and that's a MALE position to be in, and you've figured out you're probably not gay. Transgender "women" can be "lesbians", that happens a lot. Imagining yourself as a woman in lesbian porn fits with this idea. Just something to consider.
