Taking applications for a better half

Great, thank you for filling in the form.
You are also definately in the race to become my better half.

 

can't i just win now? i haven't had sex in months.. and well my hormones are telling me to hump something.. NOW! i'll make you food afterwards.

 

No, I have to study all the applications first and then I will decide who will go through to the next round.

 

what about the talent portion? or the swimsuit portion??

 

Those are some of the next rounds.

 

i've been looking for abetter half for a long damn time, nothings come up yet.

 

`

 

Then fill in the form (if you are a girl).
You might be lucky enough to become my girlfriend.

 

i don't even know why you're doing this bird! denying our love! you can stop now.. i am jealous!! are you happy?? you got what you wanted! stop toying with my emotions!

 

Sounds good. Your application will be studied and you are also in the race for the girlfriendship.

 

When will you let us know who the chosen better half is?

 

arty: WINNER! arty:

 

Girls who are interested are encouraged to answer the following questions:

a) Do you want to be birds girlfriend?
it couldnt hurt

b) How much money do you make?
more than i need

c) Can you cook?
most definitely

d) a/s/l?
21/femme/ma

e) Boobsize?
C

f) Nude photographs available for my judgement?
afraid not. you can peek in my photo album though

g) Anything else you like to tell me?
im allergic to nyquil

 

Sounds good, I will definately consider you to become my girlfriend.

 

Today is the last day I'm taking applications and then we start with round two.

 

a) Do you want to be birds girlfriend? How big are you in the pants?
b) How much money do you make? Depends on the weather. I work less when it rains a lot.
c) Can you cook? Yeah, only things I enjoy eating though.
d) a/s/l? old enough, woman, and on the east coast of the united states. (the 'sex' part was unnecessary since you clearly said only women could apply!)
e) Boobsize? I don't wear bras so I don't know. I think around a C cup or so.
f) Nude photographs available for my judgement? Not complete nudes, no.
g) Anything else you like to tell me? Do you know how to treat a lady?

 

As I said before, I ask the questions here.

Thanks for your application, you are definately still in the race to become my better half.