So I'm an only child, although my friends are my family, and I wasn't sure where else to post this query. Basically my issue is with my roommate, who is my closest friend of all at the moment. I love him to bits over and over, however over the years we've known each other, our maturity levels have separated. I'm a little older and a fast learner as well, so I find that I grow more from certain situations where he does not. He's by no means stupid, and has a wealth of knowledge, he just chooses to apply himself differently. I find that even when we are talking face to face that we are barely communicating. I understand that I have to wait for him to grow into his own, however what my question is: What can *I* do, that will help me be more patient with him? I love him and I hate what this strain is doing to our relationship, and I know that I'm the problem, I just don't know what to do about it. Any thoughts?
your 21 and he is younger. this may not be a question about him needing to "grow up." this sounds more like you two are growing apart. yeah, i know it hurts and it is sad. i have been where you are now and, i'm sure the other older members here can tell you the same thing. even though you two are starting to grow apart, there is a chance you two might be able to grow back together again. if you two, can't seem to be able to grow back together again on your own then, it is time to get help from someone who has experence in these matters... a psychologist. i hoping for the best for you and your friend.
A good way to deal with stressful situations is through meditation. I have used meditation many times to gain control and center to myself. But as cat said it may be that you are simply growing apart, and tho it may sound mean, sometimes its best to leave things behind. Hopefully it doesn't come to that tho
Don't take yourself too seriously. When you are around him try to embrace his "lower maturity level." Don't change yourself as a person, just switch to his perspective. Easier said than done I know, but if even for a moment you can place yourself in his shoes it might make it easier.
My best friend and I went throught this. We had been friends since diapers, then suddenly after highschool things became strange. We no longer seemed to be able to hang out. We spent quite a while not really talking much. But we just needed to redefine our relationship. We used to not go anywhere without the other, now we are friends that talk on a weekly basis. Do we both wish it was more? Yes, but that is what we can have right now without killing each other. Maybe one day we can be closer. I don't know if that is what you need to do, but this is my experience. Good luck and I hope that things work out for you and your friend.
