demons?

i keep reading all these storys of mystical experiences on LSD, I used to have a few myself. But lately ive been seeing demonic visuals and guilt.

Ill explain my last trip on 2 gel tabs,

i started coming up hard on my bed off one hit and i felt like i was "thinking" to god and all the sudden i can see behind me while looking forward. I see myself plugged into another person through our heads. I was actually seeing physical plugs and feeling them as well. I felt this voice talk to me and im really not sure if it wasnt me just thinking to myself but the voice was telling me who i was plugged into was god, this gave me the safest beautiful feeling.

i decided to dose the next hit. It started feeling a little overwhelming because the synchronicity of the trip was so intense. The tv started commenting on my thoughts and i began to feel as if ive gone insane

i started seeing death skulls in the visuals and for some reason i always see myself in the visuals with a very grave looking face. Then this giant white light opens up on my wall and i could feel its force pulling me in. i started to let myself slip into it but then some guy on the TV started screaming and it sounded EXACTLY like my dad. After hearing teh scream i started to panic and fight the trip.

this happens EVERY time i trip. I feel as if im pulled between god and hell and i cant tell which one is which. It always feels as if demons are tricking me into leaving this reality and ill be trapped in hell forever because of it. I also feel as if god is scolding me everytime i do acid because i keep fallling for these tricks.

I was reading an experience on erowid that was very very similar to what i experience

http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=17338

please read this experience as it is the only one that comes really really close to what my experiences are like on LSD

any thoughts on these demonic visuals/impulses?

i want to take lsd to experience god not the devil

 

there is nothing you can be told which will make you understand that everything is god, including what you are deluding yourself to believe is the "devil". Look to your own words for hints of deceit; what exactly is a "death skull"? a skull? a menacing skull? Do you know where you can find a skull? you can find a skull holding a brain which made this thread, and which fears seeing skulls while under the influence of a powerful hallucinogen.

you will never see god if you keep getting scared every time you see god.

 

i would say its a menacing skull

and tons of faces you see in horror movies

 

and those faces are made by who, in your opinion? i mean made by who in the context of your trip, and made by who in the context of the rest of life; where do "scary faces" come from?

 

damn dude..i read that erowid shit and wow... you really felt that, huh? maybe you got some heavy shit on your mind when tripping? one general rule of thumb is to be of sound mind when eating hallucinogenic drugs..is that the case? if so, you could have some soul searching to do, and may have a fear or something in your life that ur not confronting. maybe you should trip w my girl monica..she'd play with your brain so much that it wouldn't have TIME for negative thought.
look for something going on in ur life that would fuck w u while trippping...anything bugging you lately? death in the family? death in ur video game life? sex life? religous life?

think brother. think.

 

You appear to be trapped in the duality of Christianity.

You have some concept of 'God' and 'Good' and some concept of 'Devil' and 'Evil'. But these are just concepts in your mind. Neither of these really exist. Yes you can label experiences under these two categories. But thats all it is, a label.

How do you know your percieved daimonic side is truly daimonic until you explore it? And vice versa?

The truth is. It is a circle. A circle of light. Both black and white are made by this light.

Anything that exists is made of light. Even visuals you would deem demonic are made of light. Christianity wished to seperate the things created by light into black and white, and claim that only the white was light. Christianity attempted to invent a duality.

See lets take the yin yang. http://www.fengshuihelp.com/Images/yin_yang.gif

A circle with black and white. Christianity would say the white is light, the white is good, the white is god. While the black is the evil, the black is hell.

But the yin yang, the black and the white on the circle, is a man-made concept. Much how the duality of Christianity, heaven and hell, are man made concepts.

The true circle, the original circle, undistorted by human labelling, is all white, it is all light.
http://stardate.org/images/gallery/sun5.jpg

The sun you see?

As nature makes the circle, the circle is all light. And darkness is anything outside the circle. This is true duality of light and darkness. The yin yang, black and white being within the circle, this is a man-made concept. The true concept made by the universe and reality itself is that, all in the circle is light, and all outside the circle is darkness. And things only exist because of the light. Without the sun, no thing, demon or angel, would exist. Both heaven and hell are birthed by the true light. The true light does not discern, it does not apply human labels. The true light is simply existence itself, anything that exists, is light. Anything that is non-existing is darkness, the void.

So you see, when your fearing 'evil and hell', your fearing a man-made creation. As anything that exists is light. Without the light, you have the void, non-existence, where nothing exists.

Light = Existence
Darkness = Non-Existence

Not even demons exist in non-existence. You might find your demons are actually just misunderstood.

Now if it is non-existence that you fear. Well. Get over yourself.

Also. Read this
http://www.erowid.org/library/books_online/psychedelic_experience/psychedelic_experience.shtml#5.11

 

theres an archtype to be encountered known as the guardian of the threshold. who's role is simply to test the courage of our convictions. trying to scare you away, because what is required of you is a cleansing of your fear before you're welcome beyond the threshold.

i dont think it has anything to do with being trapped in a christian headtrip, if its not seen as god and the devil, its love and fear, or light and dark, or whatever other metaphorical lenses we are observing with.

my 2 cents.

 

yeah the point is not to think anything is going "wrong" with your trip; in fact, this is exactly where you should be! Open your arms and hug every single demon and skull you see. They feed off your fear, and when you fear them they grow stronger, because you give them power. To strip them of their existence, love them.

 

I'm not exactly a christian, i grew up in a christian family but i believe in a god not created by the concepts of man.

I understand that I am the one making myself see these visuals and it has crossed my mind thousands of times that there cant be a hell because hell is a manmade concept.

But when i see these visuals its like i know im entering something evil and no matter how hard i try to flow with it it just takes me deeper into it and its like my head is automatically scared as fuck even though i dont know what im in

that was a good link rygoody btw thanks

 

the only way out of this fear is to keep asking the fear what it is pointing to, and where it is coming from. you will see it both has no point of origin and it has nothing real its pointing to. it's just reactionary emotional panic. you just have to snap out of it. you have your mind, your mind doesn't have you.

 

well the fear points to death

and death scares me

 

why does death scare you?

(are you noticeing a pattern here? For every statement you give, starting with your initial post, to simply continue gaining knowledge and maturing, question. You don't need this thread. You dont need me to spend my time typing out "why does death scare you". You should be asking this question to yourself automatically after making a statement like "death scares me". this is the habit you must get into if you are ever to get anywhere. take nothing at face value, take nothing for granted. constantly seek the source of all things.)

 

i mean death scares me cause i like living and i dont wanna die

 

you're still not doing it. come on, you can do this. Now that you've made the statement "i like living i dont want to die", just ask yourself what you think either a psychiatrist, devil's advocate, guru, god, friend, lover, elmo, whoever you think would solve your problem, would ask. You don't actually need to ask other people these questions, often you can just close your eyes, and say "Hmm, I wonder what *I* would say if someone ELSE posted this thread and I had the answer for them!"

So, what is your reply to your own statement, of "I like living and i dont wanna die". give it a shot.

 

This is something that even I can barely do. But whenever I get waves of intense uncomfortable feeling, intense fear. I also have the instinct in me that if I can bear it, my concioussness will adapt and that level of fear, that level of intensity will simply become normal to me.

I have a mantra I repeat at times 'Dont fear it with every cell in your body", then I visualize the energy of fear running through every cell of my body, and simply allowing it to pass.

This still doesn't make it easier, as it does nothing to get rid of the fear, in fact, it can increase the fear, but it gives me reason to allow it pass through me and not fight it.

 

i dont wanna die because i love my family and friends, ive tripped many times and i have felt was it was like to be touched by death and how amazing it feels. But im not ready to die yet i dont quite understand the question. My trips lead me to death if i keep following the visuals and flow.

I can give a real example of it one night when i was tripping mushrooms and my friend was driving this suv and i was with this girl, my head just clicked and my friend starts swerving all over the road and flips the car on one side then to the other side and none of us were wearing seatbelts. By some outside force that defied the laws of physics the car went straight back on the road from being flipped from both its right and left sides and we started driving again. At that moment i honestly didnt know who my friend was or who possessed his body because during the whole wreck he was laughing insanely the entire time.

Everytime i get in a car when im tripping i will see the cars in the other lane literally swerve at our car head on and somehow not hit us, but it they kept getting closer and closer everytime. I swear i will think the trip is trying to kill me.

 

WHATEVER!!

you obviously should not trip anymore....or for while at least

 

Eliminate the illusion of duality.

 

i guess

 

anytime I encounter skulls on acid, whether they are on a poster, blanket, tv, in my head, for some reason they never scare me, but are rather comforting. Instead they are just the material leftovers off all my ancestors, which are now a part of the earth, and I am an offspring of the earth and of those good and faithful ones who have passed on, leaving what they could for me to have ground to stand on. Their fleshy knowledge which had passed on from the skull seems to be active in my own skull, like a burning candle. The candle always burns and the skulls/smoke are always the biproduct, passing on through time like a row of dominos falling over.

That's not to say I don't get scared on acid because I definitely have, but skulls are always my friends.