So very true! I had my son at home and it was the most amazing experience of my life So much more intimate and empowering than the hospital birth experience I had with my daughter
I totally agree, too! I had a typical hospital birth with my daughter, pitocin and epidural, and all. I was so bloody miserable after I had her. Then I had a water birth with my son with a midwife. I felt so alive and empowered after! And I had such a strong bond with him after, I can't even begin to describe it. I never had that with my daughter. I'm so sure that high PPD rates are correalted to all the interventions associated with birth today.
Thanks for your responses here ladies. ITA about PPD rates wrt to birth trauma, etc. Would you two mind leaving your responses here as comments on my blog? I think it is important for other women (especially 1st time preggos) to hear the testimonies of those who have gone before them and chosen to take a completely different path the second time around, yk?
You know I adore you mama. You are so right... I think we live in a disgusting society where labouring women are taken to hospitals, a sight of trauma, the ill and death, to bring life into this world. It is disgusting. Unfortunately, the province I lived in for my first pregnancy did not have a single midwife and home deliveries were "illegal". For my second child, I was in a different province and midwives were not covered by the government and were over a 1.5 hour drive from where I live (cost was $3000). They are now publicly funded, but in such a huge demand that there are not enough midwives to service the province. My first experience was awful. The second time I hired a doula and it was the most empowering thing I could have done. It was wonderful to have that voice to softly remind you that most of what the doctor is saying is simply a suggestion and not a demand. Sadly, I had to witness my sister go through the exact same complications as me in her first... Ohhhhhh I could go on and on about how corrupt the entire birthing process is in many of our countries. It is so disheartening. I may just copy and paste this on your blog mama.
I hear so many speak of how they felt redeemed almost by a better birth experience the second (or even third) time around. I think the main thing we lack is education about it all. If all this medicalization wasn't the "norm" this wouldn't be happening. We've gotten so far away from what birth has been for hundreds of years. I am all about technology and medical advancement but I just don't see turning a natural event in life into a medical procedure.
Nope, their beauty certainly is not affected by how they get here! I blogged about that, too - http://mamamojo.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/for-mothers/ Sorry to hear that Mama. I feel so blessed to have had uneventful pregnancies and deliveries. Many of my friends have gone that route and had complications and such and it is such a hard place to be.
I am another c-section Mama... I've had 3. My first was awful... I had planned a completely natural uncomplicated birth, but I had the complete extreme of that. I was devastated as I never prepared myself for anything but a perfect birth. I felt like a failure and mourned the beautiful birth I was expecting. In the end, I had a perfect baby and I knew I did it all for him. My 2nd and 3rd c-sections were actually beautiful experiences. My daughters never left my sight, they were placed on me right after birth and I was able to nurse them in minutes after they were born. My 2nd c/s healed me emotionally! No, it wasn't the perfect natural birth, but it was the way my babies were born...just like their daddy was 40 years before! I think sometimes we go into it expecting everything to go perfect, and sometimes it just doesn't. I know many women that feel like failures because of this, when it's just not true! I learned by my experience and looking at my beautiful children that how a child comes into the world does not matter nearly as much as that they do indeed make it here.
You're a strong woman, jgirl! No one can foresee what might happen during a birth...the "women have been doing it forever" platitudes don't mention that women have also been dying during it, too. My sister was a perfectly healthy, normal pregnancy girl...but when labour came, her cervix did nothing. I mean nothing. No dilation whatsoever, and after 30+ hours she had an emergency c-section. So at least for her second child, she knew what to expect. It's nice to plan a perfect birth, but if you don't also plan for a not-so-perfect birth, it can be devastating. Women who give birth by other means are still giving birth. I hate reading bullshit that belittles that idea.
I really agree that it's all about education. Watching the news the other day, a doctor was talking about the irresponsibility of the medical system regarding maternity care. He also mentioned that many moms do more research into what they are going to be wearing after having a child than what they plan on feeding their baby. I think some major work needs to be done on both sides, but it should start with the medical side (I'm going to university as we speak to be a Registered Nurse, so I'm not just playing the blame game). I have taken advantage of everything I have learned having my kids to tell all the other students in my classes! In fact, I did one presentation about breastfeeding with two other girls, and the class were to leave comments on what they thought about the presentation. I talked about prenatal care in the presentation, and so many comments I got said that they never knew ANY of the things I was talking about! We need to be positive and excited about the glorious things our bodies can do naturally! I don't understand why our society feels they have to try to fix things that aren't broke! Case in point, the New York moms who are now having "designer births," where they schedual a c-section and have a tummy tuck at the same time. Seriously. Come on.
Any woman who is educated plans for the unexpected as best as she can. I hope you weren't referring to my article as bullshit that belittles any woman or birth. It certainly is NOT what I meant. I am a breastfeeding counselor and worked at the Health Department for a long while and was amazed at how little pregnant women knew about birth, breastfeeding and the like. It's scary. :cheers2:
Slightly off topic but my husband attended the breastfeeding course I took. He was the only man there and was actually teased by one lady that was there. "What, are you breastfeeding too?" She said. It was such a blessing to have him there!! We both figured that there was absolutely no harm in more education and I couldn't believe someone would feel the need to put him down for being supportive. I think each birth experience is unique and the way a mother perceives the exact same type of labour and delivery will be very different. I did not feel any real connection to my first son at birth... it took quite awhile. It could have been for many different reasons, but I believe it was my birth experience that caused it. But I want to illustrate that this goes both ways. My husband contacted the Norwalk virus and began vomiting an hour before I left for the hospital to deliver. He could not attend the delivery and he went through the same thing I did with my first. A giant disconnect with his son. So again, if you had birth experience that you are happy with, that is AWESOME!!! I wish I could have enjoyed both of mine... It's more the feelings that you are left with after the delivery as described above. That is why I grieved my first birthing experience. I'm waffling, but I hope I got my point across.
