Hi Years ago, when my maternal uncle was just 18, he fell in love with a girl--both of their families were fucked up, and they just wanted someone to love-- and together they accidently fathered a child. I'm not sure ofthe whole story but their relationship went sour and the mother had a bunch of legal things against and basically took the baby--and got lawyers to defend her and it turned into a whole thing. She got married eventually and the man she married wanted to adopt their daughter as his own, to have the kid take his last name etc--My uncle was asked if he had any opposition, and being 18, he said "No", feeling it was the best option at the time due to his age and his emotional unreadiness to be a Dad. 27 years later, my uncle, now married with 2 kids for 16 years (his wife has known about his previous daughter but kids do not) is looking for old friends on Facebook--and he decides to look for her--My aunt, his sister, had recently died and his wife had been oddly thinking of his daughter due to my aunt dying--And finds her. And it turns out that she lives in the same state and area of the state that he and his wife and kids happens to live in, whereas her mother, who was a very hostile, bitter woman apparently, lives halfway across the country. He decides to write her via Facebook, telling her who he is and why what happend did, and that he's been looking for her for a long time and that if she wants to talk to him he's open. He has a baby picture of her which he'll send to prove what he said. This all happened just yesterday, so thus far he hasn't written back. For whose who have been in situations like this, did my uncle go about it the right way, do you guys think she'll write back? What should he do?
yeah, i've been in something like that. my sister turned over guardernship of my niece and nephew over to me after, the rest of our family rejected them and, both of their father's died. one o.d. on heroin; the other one swallowed his rifle. i have never been married and, never had any kids either. i have neve had anyone show up on my doorstep and say to me..."you remember so and so from high school?" "she says your my daddy." if that were ever happen to me, i would say something like: "come on in and have a seat. i'll get you a club sandwich and a glass of iced tea"... "we got some catching up to do." i don't think there is any perfect way to handle something like this; however, after saying that, the way i would have gone about it, would have been: i would first of off gone to the intellus website and, run the free public records search on her. if i could not get the information i needed from the free search i, would then select one of their packet of paid searches that ment my needs. i would then type a letter to her explaining who i am and how to contact me. i would send by certified mail ONLY! then wait for her reply; that may take several weeks. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T RUSH OR PUSH THINGS WITH HER! give her a good deal of time and space. if, after, about two (2) months, you don't here back from her then, send her a second letter by certified mail only! we seem to be losing the common sense of, when and how to handle touchy situtions with skill and grace in our 'e-mail' age.
