Depression, crying, & other bullshit

Yay I just love admitting how much of a pussy I am. Basically, I need ways to feel better. I moved back to a town I dread and I fucking knew it would only be a matter of time before I started feeling really down. As if being an anxious, overly sensitive person wasn't shitty enough, now I got depression. Oh, and I hate my life. That too.

Any advice on how to feel not like killing yourself? Or we could go all the way - the OTHER way - and offer me any sort of DIY kill yourself advice you got. Fuck now I'm crying again.

Thanks peeps. :cheers2:

 

Umm, meet some better people.
That's what I did.

 

That's partly the reason I hate it here. I have no friends in this stupid fucking town. I've definitely tried with these people, too. They just suck ass.

 

I remind myself of football practice and how during it sometimes I would wish a plane would fall from the sky and land on me to end the physical agony. I swore then that in the future I wouldn't let something stupid like boredom or social embarrassment make me feel like shit because I realized that being comfortable is so incredible when you're used to two hours of hell every single day after school. It really imprinted a hierarchy of needs for happiness in my brain though and for that I am very thankful.

Everyone's been in spots like you're in though and I feel for you, it's a tough hole to dig yourself out of. You'll get through it, chin up.

 

Thanks man. Your post definitely made me feel better.

 

:grouphug:

get out for a walk or a bike ride. sometimes just a little sunshine helps.. yes i know it's the middle of the night now.

write things down when it gets bad.. don't hold it in. you are not a pussy for having emotions. i still respect you!

if you need an e-hug.. hit me up.. anytime! PM me.. i will get back to you.

 

I haven't cried in years now mabey like 5. I'm kinda jelous because crying is good for your eyes ive heard.

 

I found an old journal of mine which talked about ending it all. Don't really know what advice to give you because other than somehow not ending it all I don't think I really had a solution. I just hope that and the other posts reassure you that it is possible to come out of, whether it be a natural process or a result of a change of circumstances.

I definitely feel for you and would give you a hug if I could!

 

Thanks for the posts gang. It sucks to know that the only way out is a distraction pretty much. I just need to meet some cool people, get a job, go to college... and basically distract ME from ME. That's how bad I hate myself.

 

I wouldn't portray it so much as a "distraction" as a "better alternative". There is always something better, something to do BEFORE offing oneself. The problem is that in the worst of moods, we have chemical blinders on. The depressive thoughts are merely a result of a chemical inadequacy in our brain, one that causes us to be blind to the alternatives.

Often, when I am "in a mood", and ready to pound the wall, for one reason or another, it is inescapable, until the music takes over. I put on something old and funky, or get into a groove on the guitar, and immediately I am transported into another realm. It may seem merely utilitarian, or mundane, to use music in such a way, but the fact is that once the music takes over, the endorphins get to flowing, and I am just ready to spread the gospel of the groove far and wide. It is an amazing transformation. A few notes, a beat, a measure, and you're in!

But in retrospect, I recall the few times I've actually wanted to pull the plug. Fortunately I did not. I got help, stayed with a few people, had some interaction, and decided that in the future, if I felt this way again, I would at least do a few things before,,set my house in order, so to speak, so as not to merely leave a mess behind for others to clean up. That's not fair to them. It would be nice if you could just cease to exist, ",,never been born,," but that's not the way it works. The residual fallout is horrible in its effects on the ones left behind.

Often, getting out of the mood is as simple as getting out of your home, or wherever it is that you feel that "confined and due for demolition" feeling. Take a walk, go somewhere and interact. Play some tunes, climb a mountain, cross an ocean, travel. See the world. Visit Istanbul, Spain, Bulgaria,,

Lots of things to do before we go,,,

 

You've got to make yourself be positive and live in the positivity of the daily world. I know what you mean. I just moved to a new place, haven't started school yet, don't have a job, and don't have any friends in the area. Now I'm sure once all that stuff happens I'll be in the swing of things and be too busy to feel down.

But to me its more important to know that no matter what you can live in a positive manner. You have to take that negative energy and convert it, no matter how hard it is, to positive energy. When you do that, life just becomes so much more beautiful, and the moments when you are finally with friends a good job etc. become even more beautiful.

Its not the easiest thing, but its not all that difficult either, and its more than worth it.

BTW I'm not saying suppress your feelings, but instead find the beauty in life and in yourself no matter what the circumstances. As the song goes

"If you just smile..."

 

for me, the only thing that makes me better is talking. i actually met someone on hipforums whom i call whenever im mad/sad, and it helped a LOT.

 

Sounds like something I definitely need to work on. Nice input :cheers2:

 

Amen to that! Good thing I don't have the courage to kill myself either. Then again if I did, I'd have the courage to make my life awesome. And I most definitely don't... yet.

 

The solution to get this and more is to take lsd and marijuana. That is what made my life nothing but positive.

 

Drink a lot.. ?