I'm gonna be late for work because....

I just found my rubber ducky in a box in the attic. I had that when I was 3yrs old and havent seen it since, this is a very emotional moment for me right now. Ima gonna take a bath and sing.. ..

 

Im not coming into work today because you can't make me...

 

i woke up blind

 

i slam herion

 

the red sox are playing

 

Cranberry Hills

Ocean Spray experimental station created a genetically enhanced one ton cranberry which is blocking the road



Hotwater

 

im stuck in a pair of designer jeans..

 

This one I really liked some guy at work said it the other day

"I've been gaining too much weight too fast, my glands are fucked up"

 

my cheese melted

 

because I'm a Hippie and as we all know, Hippies are free thinking beings man, and i just thought that 9am is far too early man.... also, i just changed my name to Neil and i need time to adjust to that man.... ok?

 

Lil stole my truck....

 

bank isnt open yet and if I dont cash this check Im gunna lose my house

 

I've got a dinner date with Kahn

 

I am stuck in the bank vault.....

 

The atmosphere is making me nauseous

 

Earth borrowed my murder cickle and won't give it back.....

 

I didn't want to interrupt the amazing love-making session I had with my bf this morning.

 

cant find my toenails

 

I spent half an hour figuring out the role of numbers in our universe.

 

the clouds were holding me back