how to stop using the needle, i'm dead serious.

just now i stole a prescription for ritalin and went to the pharmacy to get it.
I'm shooting it up. I know it sounds ridiculous, and lame, i mean, people are shooting up heroin and having nightmarish cold turkeys, i shouldn't complain.
But this ritalin has such a wonderfull rush, its 10 times stronger then when injecting speed, and the substance releases more dopamine then coke, so the sudden dopamine release is wow, knocks you out.
I have been in a mental institute for injecting ritalin and vodka (solved in the vodka), the doctors told me i was really lucky to be still alive (got out after 40 days, they wanted to keep my 3 more months). I just use ritalin in water now, but while i want to stop, i need something to replace it. I got a girlfriend, but i can't find satisfaction with that, to be fair, i rather have drugs then a girlfriend (unless i would find the girl of my dreams), love seems so dull, i always imagined it to be like in books i read as a kid.

I'm getting myself screened by the doctor every week, so i hope the rilatin won't show up, or else, i will be put in a mental institute (or stuff where they put junkies and all, whatever it is called) again.
How do i conquer the feeling, when everything is boring, and life seems endless, when i want to feel alive, feel that kick, the rush. I want to stop with it, but i'm entirely lost, i have no clue, this seems to be stronger then me. It might have to do with mood swings, wich i'm also taking medication for, but only a very low dose. I'm not weak of spirit or anything, its just my life, what i've been trough last year, and things like that, if everything was better, i wouldn't do this.

 

first you have to believe that that rush is available from anything you want. IV Ritalin does not have a monopoly on that rush. Try pushing the limits of your body through real, rigorous exercise. Feel the rush of conquering the dreariness of your everyday existence through your own free will, not a pill in a needle.

Realize that yes, IV Ritalin might feel fantastic, but there is a price to pay for it as you already know, so include this cost in your analysis of what it is. Maybe other things don't measure up to it, but they won't kill you or steal your life by locking you in some institution.

There's nothing else man. The first and last step have to be yours, and yours alone. If you have the will and the strength of being to put down that needle, then you will. And if you don't, then you'll keep shooting up until you die. The choice is yours, nobody holds your hand, you walk this life alone. Spend your time as you see fit.

 

thanks man, thats really true. i should find my own way, other people can't make a path for me. I hope i can once look back at this time, and just laugh. This rush is not worth the danger, not worth ruining my arms and veins, and the whole feeling is just fake.

 

so you ripped off a pharmacy, defied your doctors wishes, like drugs better than women and needed to tell the world this...

yeh, have fun killing yourself and dont take anyone with you

 

give a try to iboga??
ibogaine is used to treat heroin addictions, and it is very good at showing u a whole other way of living..

and i bet u dont even eat when u on ritalin, right?

 

No i don't eat, i was clean for a while, so my bodyweight isn't a problem.

and sorry hippie mcraver, i don't get it why everytime i make a post i get angry replies.
I'm did go really far to obtain that rilatin and i'm not proud of it, it just makes me worry more. I do want to stop with this. and its these amphetamine like things that are making me make posts like this. i'm just really confused why there is so much disslike towards eachother here on the hipforums. Yes, i should solve my own problems, i know, altho i got some good advice. I'm stupid and a morron,but where is the unconditional love? I'm being honest here, i want to stop. just don't make it harder for me then it already is, its things like this i wish to escape from, all the negativity.

 

hell, never mind, thanks for the advice and all, this thread will just get stupid now.
I'm stupid for always asking for help. I just don't feel like dieing, just go read a little about what rilatin does with your veins and heart, i'm very lucky to have still survived (wich i'm not proud about, this just adds to the addiction, playing with my life, makes me feel more alive).
i hope to overcome this and stay alive, for my parents and people who still care about me. grr..i shouuldn't be so upset about all this, its because i'm wasted. Guess some people are friendly and some not

 

unconditional love my ass, and you get hostile responses because anything with a brain knows your full of it. Your not a victim and your not stupid as you say, you expect pity by your actions. If you wanted to quit you wouldn't be sticking needles in your arm.

quit lying.

its people using needles who get others stuck by accident, Ive been at festivals and almost stepped on needles, I don't need some junkies aids because they are a prick and toss their needles on the ground.

I wish you the best and hope you get real help, but lets be realistic your shooting up Ritalin, might as well go balls to the wall, get some mephedrone or krystal and give that a whack

 

many voices are heard, always

some to hold your hand

some to slap your hand

both right

but both just voices

 

damn, dont inject water! wtf? and vodka??

:/

 

*sighs* just nevermind, i am not a victim, sorry for my previous posts, this stuff is just making me weird. I'm really not full of myself, i hate myself, i hate the way i am now. iv'ing rilatin is more harmfull then heroin (if you get the doses right atleast), and its a really potent medicine.so don't say i don't got balls. I just want to stop myself before its too late. Once again, sorry for the way i behave, its really because of these brain rushes. in a normal state i'm someone who doesn't thinks high of himself, and just wants to escape, but when on this drug i just become this idiot who thinks he's important and shit. I know this, and i don't know why i always make crap posts here when on this stuff, usually i don't come to this place at all anymore.
you know, you can think of me what you want, atleast your judgement is not based on how i am in a normal state. All i want is some clarity in my life, i'm not doing this for pleasure, i had been clean since i left that institute (only did a little of speed) and today the injecting began again, it just suddenly scared me, the nightmare is just going to start all over again. Hope you will never experience how it is to keep wanting more shots, because without it, everything turns black. last time i got lucky that the police decided to have me put in that mental institute, because i was close to dead, i had been injecting for weeks straight, no sleep, no food. I don't want this to happen again, this is a nightmare, i just want to get out of it. i just don't feel anyone understands me. but i'm gone again from here, thanks for the advice, take care

 

its like u are talking to yourself,
replying for your own post...
u r nuts

and its not that u got balls,
its that u are stupid enough to inject water and vodka

 

yes, he did something stupid. youve called him a name. now hes asking what the next step is. you can call him a name, but can you help him?

 

i'm replying to hippy raver, and its the brain rushes that make me like this. And yes, i'm stupid. Just everyone of you dissappear. this nightmare is just going to start all over again.

 

dawn turns into night,
and daylight was gone,
blood drips from the roofs,
as tunder howls,
twice it bounces,
a weakened heart,
twice it echoes,
the laughter,
he caught me again,
demon,
he caught me again,
nightmare,
when will it end?


Just a last farewell poem

 

get prescribed to maois, or give a try to drugs that make u sleepy, like get prescribed to benzos. all u got to play off is that u got anxiety rushers or problems.

i think that can help u start layin off retalin,
or use heavy pain killers,
im really unsure..
with your will to change, it can happen
or we will figure something out together.

 

why so serious

 

or put hot sauce on all of your needles or suringes

 

i feel him.
i got a buddy that is abusing adderal :/ and wants to quit

 

srry for the tripple post ,

but,
next time ull decide to do this,
inject retalin disolved in your own blood and not in water.
take some boold out and put it back in.