The Artisan

I've been working on this one for a few months and it's getting close to being done. Comments welcome.

There are those who say I am a partisan
To them, I say, I am an artisan

Crafting brilliant threads of winsome and worry
And always being careful not to be in too much of a hurry

Treading softly with my slender limbs splayed
That which is broken should never have been made

My words have great meaning to those that endure
My prose will ensure that I'll never be poor

 

really? a few months? Did you have writers block?

 

Well, I had a hard time coming up with a rhyme for partisan. I started with aartisan, bartisan, cartisan, etc and nothing seemed to work. Then I came up with near rhymes like cardigan, but it would have forced me to change the theme from man against himself to man against nature (ie, the sweater).

Then I started thinking, less is more, and I dropped the p from partisan and alas....artisan.

So you can see why it took a few months to figure all that stuff out. But I trust you agree the end product was worth the extra time.

 

Yes i agree, it was a well thought out piece. I mus admit that your first bar was awkward, tho it did rhyme. the flow was abrasive. IMO I guess the way the author imagines the narrative voice to sound makes a difference however


And I go through exactly what you go though in regards to finding correct end words to use...

For artisan you could use multi syllable rhymes instead of end rhymes

ARTISAN
for example: "art of sam" "arch off stand" "are too sand" etc....

 

I made a few notes in this one

Keep writing! I enjoyed reading your stuff.

 

Vetty, it was written as shtick, in the hopes that someone would think it was a serious effort and then come in and praise me, even though it was absolute garbage. You picked up that it was garbage.

Uh, I'm glad you liked it though.

 

fail.

 

And I thought you were having a run on run on sentences