Well, I feel overwhelmed and lost..and I'm not alone

So, I am 18 and living in Phoenix with a friend. We both feel really lost, and kinda unsure about where to head our lives. I guess I should tell you some about us.

My name is Antonio, I am 18, just moved from Grand Junction, Colorado to Phoenix, in order to grow my business. At 16 I dropped out of school and started my own company, doing Web Design, Web Applications, and IT. My company didn't flourish well in my town, and after some disagreements with my family, all having to do with theft from my company, I left. I talked to my best friend and we decided to leave. After counting the damage in my company (Funds went from 12,000.00 to -800.00, due to family theft), I knew I had to leave. I thought of everywhere I ever wanted to go, and decided San Francisco. I talked to my friend, and he thought this would be great as well. I payed off my debts, and took the last of my money and grouped it with his (Putting our total funds to $600). We decide we will live out of his car in San Fran, showering at truck stops, using an inverter for power. Now, one important thing to know is that I have terrible asthma, and have to use my nebulizer on a daily basis. (Off subject but I also have sever back problems that cause me a lot of pain, so I also smoke medically) Well, we make it there and after being there for 4 days, the inverter breaks, now making it impossible for me to use my neb. So knowing I will die with out it, we decide we need to find somewhere else to go. I call my mother's sister (since she lives in phoenix, which is the closest city with someone I could call in it) someone I have not talked to since I was maybe 7, and she says we can stay with her for a short while. Between the drive to San Fran, and then back to Phoenix all the money was gone. We get there and immediately begin looking for a job. Turning in applications every where, from fast food to large scale IT jobs, we hear no call backs. It's now been two weeks, and we are beginning to question why we even want to do this.

So, I ponder my options and keep thinking of the time I spent at the Rainbow Family Gathering, this summer. And thats when it hit me, I don't want to live this kinda life. I want to be able to grow my own food, cannabis, be able to help people, and experiment with my consciousness. So I am asking all of you, what would you recommend. I'm lost, and neither me nor my friend want to just continue this consumer life style

 

Please people, I really would like some help.

 

i deffinitaly understaind where your coming from. over the last 2 years living on my own i have come to realize that no matter how hard i work and how much money i make theres just no satisfaction in it all. unfortunatly i dont have much in the form of advice to offer, but at least u have proven to have the balls to get off your ass and make the move unlike myself.

 

Get the fuck out of Phoenix, go back home and work shit out with your family.
Give up the commune fantasy's and get to fucking work on your business.
Sorry to be harsh, cuz I know where you are coming from.
I just think with the economy the way it is , It's not a good time to "drop out"
Besides, America needs you!atriot: (your family needs you too)
ZW

 

Xora,

Tend not to answer when I don't think that I have not much to offer to help....However reading zombie's reply, I felt that he sped read your post and did not catch quite a few of the details you spelled out
If indeed your family is stealing from you and your business, and feel no remorse and continue in said pattern, it is indeed time to shake that dust from your feet and leave.
In that I praise you....However after that you come back with your ailments and the reason you cannot succeed and are having such a hard time...focusing on what is impeding you.
The Way gets shown through synchronicity to those who will pay attention. Look to whatever unfolds and Know there are opportunities abounding therein - especially in times of hardship, more is offered,even if only in helping you to Grow , stretch and overcome perceived limitations.
Phoenix is not 1 of my more favorite places, being smog-ridden (not good for breathing), and way too materialistic and greed oriented for those who would choose the Way of opening to the More....which it sounds like you are in the process of doing.

Most limitations, including physical,are those we allow to have sway over us. Not a popular idea in today's co-dependent world. But look to the lives of those who have overcome and you will find that they did not accept their limitations.

Tucson is not far, and is more forward looking, as is Flagstaff; which would be my own choice, were I looking for a population center in Arizona (which I would not....the web does not need them to grow success, and they are often distracting).

The high desert areas offer much for inspiration of the spirit and for many (myself included) offers a place of kinship in spirit that few other places can match....mountains away from the press of the greedy masses being a strong preference for many of spirit. Been long since I dwelt there, but it used to be that there were many of like mind....not advertising , but very present.

You are only limited by those things you choose to label in that perception...
Life has much to offer....and the Way IS shown to those who seek, and will not let hardship deter them.

Blessings along your Way...are often the lessons learned.

Namaste (my spirit bows to your spirit)

 

Good post, oldwolf. I didn't speedread xoras post, its just all the details are fairly irrelevant,it seems. Roadblocks and failures in life are common, they are nothing to be ashamed of. They happen to most people.

Xora, If there are irreconcilable problems with your family and you have decided to move on, then more power to you.
But sometimes problems with family aren't what they seem and without resolution could cause you a lot of heartache later in life.

ZW eace:

 

Apologize for jumping to a conclusion and passing my assumptions on....to myself as well, as that particular behavior is something I try not to do and have a challenge accepting gracefully in others.

Regarding keeping all connections open and on a good footing, especially for those with whom we find ourselves interacting closely and possibly with negative baggage brought along: if possible we need to get out of the co-dependent (victim/enabling) roles and come from a place of self-empowerment for both ourselves and the others. Co-dependence generates resentment and it's hard to make peace as long as we stay in the roles that generates the dis-ease.
It is much easier to make peace when some space/time gives us a broader perception and we have moved beyond the reactionary state, and self-empowerment will make it so that it is much easier to take the higher road and not get sucked into old behavior patterns.
Often we find ourselves in relationships for just that reason, to grow beyond a behavior pattern often long established between those involved.
Matters unresolved will always call for resolution....I prefer to resolve them as soon as possible so as to not to distract me from moving on, but know from experience that resolution is easier and we are usually more mellow when we feel in charge of our emotions instead of facing possible reactionary times in peacemaking attempts.

The feeling of being overwhelmed is part of the victim mentality, adaptability and trust in our own Being and reaching for the broader potentials and opportunities (a positive attitude) are the best tools experience have shown me.

We are here to Grow and move Beyond whatever limitations we have allowed ourselves to accept in the past.
We have the Power!

Blessings

Namaste

 

Xora~ i recommend that whatever happens, when you find yourself settled in some way, get a handle on your asthma. you know that nebulizing isn't the solution. it's palliative. get on a holistic asthma preventive program. ppl die from asthma. so get a handle on it. that way you can manifest your life & live it!

 

((((Xora)))) It's easy to be ready to drop out, but are you ready to move to a commune sight unseen? Are you ready to spange and gas jug it? I like the idea of going back to your Grand Junction family and coordinating a loving retribution enough to have a place to winter through. There's a rainbow farm near there, too, posted here once and you could contact them first to see if you can have a fallback place or at least a place to visit and center while you deal with whatever's in grand junction.

 

Family is not an option. These are not the kind of people that lead to a happy loving life. There is more contributing to my leaving there then theft, and as such it is not even an idea. My prior was filled with a lot of strife an physical abuse because of that part of my life.

I still feel no want to contribute to this money centered society, more input is requested.

 

What has happened since? If you are able to give an update...

 

have you looked at natural building homes? i mean you would have to have $$$ but get your buisness going and build your own home then you would have no bills. you would own your land and be able to grow your own food this is what i plan on doing of course you have to have some money but not near as much as if you where trying to keep up with the jones'.