at a crossroads & don't know where to turn

I have been with my boyfriend now for about two years. We get on fine normally. We have the same sense of humour, we're into mostly the same sorts of things.
The problem is we fight alot because he just doesn't seem to see my point of view on a lot of things. Everything turns out to be my fault when we fight. It sucks.
This might just be a normal thing in a relationship ... I don't know. I've had a few but they've all been pretty crap.
Another thing that drives me crazy about him is he never does anything I'm the kind of person who wants to go out randomly and swim in rivers and camp and things but he definately wouldn't do anything like that. At least not without a lot of planning and sandwiches.
The worse thing, though, is that he lives soooo far away (in australia, actually. And I'm from the UK). We're living in Australia now (just back in the UK for my brothers wedding for a month) and I totally miss my family.
My family is totally different than his. I really miss mine. They're total hippies. His are normal. Nice, but normal lol. They also spoil him alot.
Oh, but the other worse thing is I was pregnant a little while ago, but had an abortion because he wanted to travel and save lots of money first. He had a job and it's not like we're young (he's 30, I'm 24).
I really regret it soooo much and have nightmares about it alot. It was a very stupid thing to do for me. I suppose I resent him a bit.
He's very used to getting his own way and is/was spoilt by his parents, who do everything for him.
I have a choice now of going back with him or staying in the UK.
I've just brought a course in Australia which I'm going to start when I get back and most of my things are there (though I really don't have very much stuff )
Here I won't have any money or any qualifications.
This sucks! I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm getting way too old to start again and worried I won't ever have kids.
Help me!
...ha... that was a good vent.

 

It's hard when you are in the middle of things to not feel fear when looking at letting go...and sometimes that fear makes us put up with things we never would if we only knew ahead of time would come with the territory
You CAN find better...they Do exist and they Are looking for people of like mind....It's hard for us nomads to find people who are really not tied to their physical comforts.

Do not settle for less...Be True to your Self

Blessings Be with you along your Way.....often the lessons we learn are the greatest Blessings

Namaste (my spirit bows to your spirit)

 

Too true. I guess I should end things if I'm not completely happy with them. I know he's not totally happy, either. And I guess we're both affraid we won't find someone else....but we will... hopefully

Thank you. That made me feel better

...Still very scary thought, though

 

hey running... I wish I could rewind until I was 24, I know we're 6 years different, but i feel like i've learned so much in the last 2 years of my life. I honestly wish I could start over and it came from pretty much the same time / point in my life as you.

I had alot of similar differences at the time u did with your relationship, and same point of view generally, scary how similar u sound. Now i am in a very long term relationship with the same person.

The disagreements only get bigger and more heated, and eventually you find the both of you getting very very tired from stress. Then u'll find that each of you sacrafices more then they should just to get by. My advice is try to work things out early or it only gets harder and more complex.

Good luck. I sympathize.

 

Hey yeah, I can definately see things getting more heated. They are already. It's so depressing.

I'm sorry you're in the same situation... It's not easy.

I'm very worried about starting over. I just don't think I have the strength..!

Thanks for your advice *hugs*

 

I know i feel your pain, I'd love to talk more about situations when i actually have some space. In the mean time read my posts u'll get a better feeling for a few issues (just only a few of a long list).

 

Does he have a good side that's keeping you in this relationship? Nothing you've said about him seems positive, and you're not married, so what's keeping you in it?

 

He does
We get on really well most of the time. We talk easily and have the same sense of humour and we make each other laugh (and it's the kind of sarcastic / random sense of humour, that not everyone likes )

Plus I guess it's because I've been with him for a few years and I'm getting attached. He knows all the bad things about me. And it sucks when you're in a new relationship and the other person has to find out your bad habbits... if you know what I mean ... ?

 

I just wanted to drop a quick line and see how you're doing. I wish i had some time to myself!

 

Yeah... not to bad
Going to see how things go.
Going back to Oz soon. Going to try to do some volunteering while there and finish this course... then don't know

 

Hey.. well.. update - I've broken up with my boyfriend. I stayed in the UK. We went to the airport and at the last minute I decided to stay. It was EXTREMELY stressful.
The problem now is I have no bank account, no money, no home and no job... so it sucks really! The better thing would've been to go there and then plan my escape back here! Shit! I was thinking of doing that, too. That's why I didn't go - because I didn't want to just 'use' my boyfriend... and it would've been using him techically.. to just go there because I don't have the means to stay here.
Anyway, still not sure of the next move.
Have to see how things go, but I'm so depressed and stressed right now. What would you do??