I am in my 30s and bullies still fuck with me

What the fuck is this shit? There are people out there who STILL see me as a target and fuck with me. They'll yell shit at me, they'll stare me down, guys working at places (it's always guys) will take on a challenging kind of attitude with me, won't do their jobs. They'll look down on me like I'm dog shit they just stepped in. Sometimes if they're in groups they'll be especially overt about it.

Like here's an example. I went to a concert with my ex-wife back when we were married, several years ago (we just got divorced). It was a meaningful show for her because her and her dad, who had just passed away, had bonded over the band's music. There was a whole group of guys sitting behind us that kept spitting on me, throwing the beach ball straight at me, and eventually tossed beer on me. Not on both of us, or at anyone else - it was all aimed at me. While I'm there with my wife. We had to leave - it ruined the show for her.

This is a problem because now that I'm divorced and have no backup for when I'm in public, it keeps me from doing what I want to do because I'm afraid I'll catch some kind of violence or bullshit from people. There's just something about me that activates the predator instinct in this kind of subhuman shit, and they could be anywhere and do anything. Of course this all feeds on itself and I get paranoid when I go out and these fuckfaces can smell that, it draws them like flies.

I don't want to end up isolated and alone because of this. What in the hell drives people like this? What is it about me that invites this shit? The angrier I get about it the worse it gets. Where's the breaking point? When does it stop? Adulthood apparently doesn't work.

I registered just to post this. Normally I'm not this bitter but I just do not understand this. If I can solve this problem I have a lot going for me, I just don't get it.

 

Hey, really sorry to hear about your problem.

Sounds to me like you need to really build on your own self esteem before you get to work on other people. Throughout my life one thing I've learned is that confidence is key in any situation. Going in with a failing attitude will ALWAYS produce failing results.

I know some people just get a kick out of fucking with people for no reason more commonly people they know won't produce any real consequences.

Now PLEASE do NOT distort what I'm about to say into "you should hit the gym and get really buff and the next time someone says something beat them up"

I'm saying you need to stick up for yourself, and if you are worried that these people can easily kick your ass you will be much less inclined to do anything about the harassment.

If you are the type of person who for whatever reason seems to draw these assholes to you I recommend you stay in good physical shape. You will feel better and more secure about yourself furthermore sending the vibe out to other people. You want to send the message to people that you are okay with yourself, and okay with them, as long as they respect you.


Now again I want to reiterate that I'm not saying to get jacked and try to fight people. But DO be more assertive. if your at a show like that and someone actually spits on you, THE VERY FIRST TIME. do not hesitate, get your wife, get up and have management make them leave. Things like that are UNACCEPTABLE and will not be tolerated. Your not 12 years old, this isn't 'tattling'. but being as it's no more in the right to go up and punch him in the face as it is for him to spit at you, you must have the employees make him leave.

You paid your money. You are not bothering anyone. If someone isn't conducting themselves the way they should, then they will probably be forced to leave, and that's that.

Walk with your head a little higher, and with the attitude that you are a worthwhile person who deserves respect, and people will respond to that.

Hope this helps.

 

Mayhaps they sense intelligence and are threatened.

 

Buy a gun!

Errr, wait, maybe not...

 

Thanks for this. You're right about the physical condition thing. Good motivation for getting off my ass and getting in shape again. Hopefully I can maintain that motivated mood.

Now that I think about the concert I mentioned I don't think there was any spitting or beer slinging that time, just the beach ball thing and them running their mouth and laughing at me when I noticed. I got that memory mixed up with a different concert. That time it was some stupid kids that were just indiscriminately fucking with everyone below them, it wasn't directed at me - I do know the difference.

I make this point because for a long time people wouldn't believe this was actually happening. My ex-wife would argue with me and tell me I was just being paranoid, that it couldn't possibly happen like I said it did. When I was a kid my parents would say the same thing.

Edit: forgot something. Some of these fuckheads respond to your demand of respect with a challenge to you to prove that you deserve their respect. What do you do about those people?

 

Well before you can "demand" respect, you need to first have it for yourself. Which is why I suggested the getting in shape thing. The bully types don't typically start with someone who looks like they are comfortable with themselves.

It's like this...everyone knows an insult isn't offensive unless there is some truth to it. for example walking up to someone who has a six-pack doesn't really put you in a position to call them a fatass. get what im saying?

if you walk up to a person who is better looking, has a cute girl with him, and looks like if you tried to hit him he could probably beat you up. It doesn't make for a good target. These people are looking for someone who either has an obvious flaw they can pick at, and just seems like they won't give much resistance if you try to take advantage of them.

The getting in shape thing isn't so you can start a fight. It's to prevent one. If some random guy walks up to you and can tell by looking your no push-over, then the odds of him doing something to intentionally piss you off are probably much slimmer.

Oh and NEVER lose your cool. No matter what. I don't care if you have a horrible deformity on your face and the guy just made a messed up comment about it and your girlfriend. Stay calm and in control, freaking out just makes you look weak and gives them the laugh and 5 mins of attention they were looking for.

 

Fight back. Work out and start kicking ass if necessary.

 

Grow a set of balls

Hotwater

 

balls I've got, it's weapons and ready justification that I lack.

I could get my CCW and start carrying but I only get to pull that once and only if I can prove that my life was in danger.

Best bet without going that route is to get buff and do two years of intensive martial arts to get to a black belt level quickly then hope that I don't get jumped by a group of these motherfuckers, which nullifies skill

 

I bet your wife left you because she already has one pussy, why need another right? that's what they say at least.. honestly, you should've stood up for the two of you.

 

:

 

you should've grabbed the disrespectful punks by their throats and beat everyone of their asses, a number (their age) doesn't mean shit.

 

How does going to prison for beating their asses and getting ass raped by bubba do anything to protect me or give me self respect? That just means they end up getting the last laugh, unless I do permanent damage, in which case I get ass raped even longer in prison, so their surviving people (because these punk fucks always have people that love them and can't see what they really are) get to have the last laugh instead. There's no making them learn or anything like that, either. The only thing you can do is pre-emptively scare them away from fucking with you, because if they do anything to you they win by default unless you don't care about going through years of ass rape.

 

You can't go to prison for a fight unless they are a bunch of pussies who can't take losing a fight.

 

if we are all going to die anyways, whats the harm in speeding up the process on a bunch of pukes.

I like to watch videos of lions. Sometimes weaker lions will even attack the main lion in groups. Then the big lion fucks them up one by one. And he fucks all of the lioness.

 

there seems to be symbolism in your post but I can't understand it atriot:

 

that's so true.

 

avoid violence by being aware of who and what is around you. Don't place yourself or your girl in a position where trouble can likely occur. Walk away or move somewhere else before anything begins as you probably notice things are patterning. Give them a wide distance before they start, know who they likely are.

 

gangs in general are just a bunch of pussies, being at a concert can get hard getting into a fight but seriously? it isnt worth it. Just get security. its not just you people mess with. Gangs are a joke.

 

Like I've said before, fight back. Don't rush in like an idiot, but the only way they'll leave you alone is if you fight back. Obviously don't fight them all at once...find one of them, catch them alone, beat the shit out of him, and send a message. That's how I'd do it.