She - A personal recount of the events.

Hey, Thought I would post this to get some sort of response. Part one was written a few days before the later with no intention of sharing, but here I am.

She​

6:00am, another broken sleep. I can’t shake this feeling that I’m loosing her. It’s my fault really, I shouldn’t have made that ultimatum. But it was my last shot at riding myself of these parasites trying to break us apart. All I did was fall into there trap, I see that now. It started a few weeks ago when I noticed her texting all the time. At first it was just people from work, seemed harmless. Then I caught glimpses of a conversation as she lay in bed beside me, still texting away. They were from a guy named Chris, Better known by me now as “the stalker”. Apparently we had met at a lan party thrown by her best friend Carlos, who just happens to be my nemesis.

I asked if I could see the text message. She showed it to me with some reluctance. As I read through the text from Chris I felt so cut, so betrayed. “He doesn’t love you” “He’s only using you for sex” “leave him” “I’ll love you and take care of you” Leave him, I’ll take care of you.

What the fuck. I didn’t say it, just thought it as my heart sank deep inside me. She tried to explain, she didn’t want to be with him she said. Like it mattered I thought. She continued on about how he wouldn’t stop texting her, calling her at work. I asked if she had told Chris to leave her alone and that it wasn’t ok to behave like that, and at the very least it was inappropriate to ask her to leave me while spreading rumors about me “using her for sex”. Her reply almost killed me on the spot, I’ll do it now she said. All I could think about for a minute was how long this had been going on and that she had let it continue, as if she wanted the attention.

Then it kicked in, my little defense mechanism. She had finished texting Chris a ‘good bye, don’t ever speak to me again, your creeping me out’ text and I had already let it go. Sure I was angry, but not at her. I over looked her part in all of this but only for the sake of our relationship.

A week later and his name appears again, Chris. It’s her on the phone, talking frantically, as if it were an emergency. “Did you ask one of your friends to threaten Chris?” “No” I said. I don’t threaten people, and over the phone. What the hell was she thinking. Dare I ask, I did. “Why?” Some one had apparently been calling Chris and threatening to kick the crap out of him, it would seem at this point that some one else didn’t like this prick either. Good I thought, If I need to take care of this guy there might actually be some one to pin it on. She went on for a bit about it and how she thought it would be an odd thing for me to do, I agreed. We ended the call, her feeling satisfied that it wasn’t me while I was left to ponder what to do about this guy “Chris.”

I decided that again, it was best to let it go. I called Carlos and told him to let this “Chris” guy know that I wasn’t the one making these threatening calls. What a mistake that was, I should have known that Carlos would try and stir the pot.

Later that night I got a call from her, apparently I was at it again. Carlos had told both her and Chris that I threatened to kill him if he didn’t leave her alone. I said the obvious, Then I fucked up. I was just tired of the bullshit. I gave her an ultimatum, Disassociate with the lot of them, or leave me. I knew she would pick me over them but I didn’t know it was a false victory.

She called back several minutes later to confirm that she had broken ties with Chris and Carlos for good. I asked to see her and she agreed to come to my place but she had to walk, I agreed to meet her half way then walk her back to my place. I figured it would give us time to talk.

As I went to leave the house my mother chimed in. “You know I got a visit today.” Here we go I thought, not knowing that it was related to my issue with her. Mum continued. Turns out she had gotten a visit from Carlos, Chris and Carlos’s mother Rosemary while she was at work. They had filled her in about my behavior towards Chris. Rosemary had also mentioned that I shouldn’t be so protective of her because she has the right to have male friends and if I don’t like it then…I stopped the conversation. I need to go.

The walk gave me time to think by myself. We joined paths and headed back to my place. What happened next was just a talk between her and I collaborating events, I told her about what mum had said. She repeated what she had been told by Chris and Carlos. We came to the conclusion that Carlos was just using the situation to try and break our relationship up as he has tried before in the past. It was over though, she had broken ties. Continuing to worry about it was pointless so we both agreed to move on and let it go. That good old faithful defense mechanism.

A little over a week had passed and the texting started again, this time it was another one of Carlos’s friends, William. Oh for fuck sake, why can’t I get rid of these worthless peaces of shit? I didn’t say it, I thought it tho. I didn’t want to know. I rolled over and went to sleep while she continued texting.

Days passed and soon she started talking to Carlos again, figured. But what does it mean. The ultimatum, does this mean she has now chosen Carlos over me or didn’t she take me seriously. I’m hurt more than I can understand at this point. She spends more time texting other guys, (To be fair lets just say there “other people”, but there guys.) She spends more time texting other people while I’m with her than actually spending time with me. I hate to contemplate what she does when I’m not around.

The thing that makes this all so much worse than it already is, is that I’m leaving so much of this story out. Like how I found out that her and Chris went and spent a whole day together at the Sydney Aquarium before I stumbled onto the text messages. But I only found after it happened. More defense mechanisms I guess, Can’t have the love of my life sound like a cold hearted ray of sun shine.

She still talks to William occasionally, but she has a new “friend in need.” Scott, her ex-boyfriend. He seems to get all the attention these days. Poor William, he must feel so hurt at the lack of time she devotes towards him now. He broke up with his girl friend, They both did come to think of it. Scott and William, William and Scott. They would make a great couple if they weren’t to busy falling over her.

Two nights ago were the worst it’s been for me. I went to sleep alone, In her bed while she sat down stairs talking to Scott on the phone for the better part of 2 hours. She did come up after about half an hour to make sure I wasn’t waiting up for her, then she went back down and continued her conversation. So nice of her to check up on me.

I came home last night, stayed and slept in my own bed, if you can call it sleep. Last night felt like the night before, alone as usual. I did dream tho, strange because I don’t normally remember anything from my dreams let alone be woken by them. It’s now 8:00am. This story isn’t getting any shorter so I’ll wrap it up with this; I love her, more than even she can realize. It is because of this pain that I know it to be true. I love her, I think I’m loosing her.

She II​

3 days later, yesterday. She came to meet me at work on my lunch break, had an easy start. Not many people interrupted me while I was setting up the shop. Seemed like a good day, I walked out to get my things and met her at the front of the shop around 12. She was there waiting already, we discussed what we could get for lunch as we walked towards the food court.

She and I agreed on KFC, that’s when I caught a glimpse of her phone as she put it back in her pocket. No, It couldn't have been I thought as a mixture of rage and sadness engulfed me. I stopped her and asked her to show me her phone and there it was. Her new wallpaper. It was Scott, Shirt off. Posing for his phone camera in front of a mirror.

Then I remembered her taking photos of her self days before, topless poses with nothing but her playboy underwear on. Was it a reply, did she start it and send the first one or did he ask and she oblige. She grabbed me as I tried to walk away from her, not letting go she said; "Don’t cause a seen". Seen my fucking arse. All I wanted to do was get as far away from her as possible but she wouldn't let me. She struggled to hold on as she asked to speak to me in private.

This will be good I thought, how in the world is she going to explain let alone justify this blatant disregard for our relationship. I dragged her up the escalators to the roof of the shopping complex. "What, What the fuck have you got to say to me now". Before she could get a word out I hit her with a barrage of every thing she had don’t to me and now this. I told her I needed some time to think, at least to the end of the week. I kissed her goodbye and road the escalator down alone.

To be continued, I guess...

Part II will be updated with more detail along with the conclusion to the story when it happens but for now I need time to deal with this myself.

Peace.

 

Damn dude. Sorry to hear this. I'm sort of going through a similar situation. All I can say is at least the anger covers up some of the grief and sorrow.

 

I feel for you dude. I don't know what your going through, but life cannot be devoted to 1 person, leave her bro. I know it's easier said than done, but she's walking all over you, and she thinks she can get away with it. She won't stop at the expense of your feelings, you need to get out! I can't make the decision for you, I can only hope you can do the right thing! Good luck.

Peace, Ross.

 

if she has lots of boyfriends you should have lots of girlfriends.

booyah.