Dispute with gay adoption

Devil's advocate says:

Don't you think it's important for a child to have both a male and female influence in their upbringing? A mother, in particular, seems important. It's hard for me to imagine two men providing the same kind of nurturing a woman could. Yes, I know that's a stereotype, but a childhood without a mother sounds bleak to me.

I understand that a child living with a pair of dedicated same-sex caregivers will receive much more love, attention, and stability than they would in orphanages/foster homes. I also understand that being raised by two parents is better than one. However, as of now, there is not a surplus of infants to adopt. Just the opposite; you actually have to get on a waiting list. With so many couples lining up to adopt, should gay couples really take a child away from a situation where they could have both a mother and a father?

Maybe spend the extra dough and adopt from another country, where that same child doesn't necessarily have another family waiting to take them in.

 

I'm not very well educated on this subject, I just know that it has been (and still is) a huge source of controversy and is debated heavily. I do understand both parts of the argument, but I think the idea that a child needs both male and female influence in their upbringing isn't necessarily relevant.

Especially as single parents are often congratulated and do fine with just that one influence in their child's upbringing. Plus, with family member's, friends e.t.c, a child is never influenced by their parent's only.

I do understand why it's such an argument (I agree with some points made), but I think that a same-sex couple could probably provide the same nurturing environment that a couple could.

 

No, plenty of kids grow up fine from single parent homes. Have you seem families these days? 2 moms or 2 dads I think is better then say an alcoholic mom and dad who throw dishes at each other at night.

Also you have to get on a list because they have to do backround checks and ect before the state will just allow you to walk away with a kid. Have you ever seen how crowded orphanages are, there's a vast surplus of kids in need of a home.

 

In my humble opinion, I would prefer a child to be brought up in a stable, loving same-sex parenting unit, than with an abusive, alcoholic or drug-using man/woman partnership.
I have no real problem with adoption than I don't have with others looking to adopt. As long as the parents-to-be are every bit as loving, attentive to the child's needs and can provide a comfortable standard of living for the child(ren), why not?
I understand I stand out from many Christians on this line of view.
Obviously a man and a woman are probably the optimum as we all need a mother or father figure, but when this is not possible, there is not reason in my eyes why two men or two women cannot make good parents.

 

I believe in a more nomothetic approach, and regardless of who bring what up, a child will be as it was intended to be. Extrinsic influence is exactly that, but it's certainly not your blue print.

No matter whether you have two dads or two mums or two aliens are parents, as long as you the person is not a bigot, you will just as well grounded.

I believe mothers are important, sure. But I simply believe love is enough, as cliche as it sounds. The groundwork of your personality will never falter because you don't have a 'correct' seeming family.

And yeah, there are plenty of children who would benefit from any caring family. But as the previous guy rightly said, they don't give away children like they should be free condoms it seems.

 

agree with this completely

 

Also not just gays, but single parents too, if a single man or woman wants to be a mom or dad and has a great job, clean record, ect, but can't adopt a kid because they're single, it's like wtf.

 

It is a cliche', but it really is true. The ONLY thing a child needs, is to be cared for, and loved. Everything else is superficial, and is not required. Some make too big deal of the "mother & father" thing. I don't think a child needs a mother and father figure at all. I mean, I had that, and I fail to see how that advantaged me in any way. And of course, the angle that kids brought up in a gay household will themselves be gay is just ludicrous. Almost all gay people grew up in the traditional "mother & father" setup, so how did those kids not turn out straight then?

I'd much rather a child was being brought up by loving gay parents, or single parent. Than be brought up by a man and woman who constantly fight with each other, abuse, or neglect the child. I honestly can see no great advantage whatsoever of a child having a mother and father figure. Other people, and especially school will have just as much of an impact (if not even more so) on the child's development than their parents.

 

i agree with what the previous posters have said. i don't think it's necessary for a child to grow up with both father and mother. it all depends on what kind of individuals their parents are. single parents have done very well (both, single dads and single moms) and gay couples have done very well in raising kids. and in a situation where it's either send a kid home with a straight couple or a gay couple, parents' sexual orientation should not be something to influence the decision at all.

 

I adpoted and raised 7 boys, a set of three brothers, later a pair of brothers, then another pair of brothers. The last guys are from the Amazon area of Peru. I was sure as hell a better alterntive than an institution/orphanage. And all 7 of the guys turned out straight...go figure.

 

I take my hat off to you, my friend. What a noble thing you did for those boys.

 

Thanks Honeyfugle. Heres the thing...it was always a two way street. I learned from each of my sons. Each boy taught me how I needed to parent him, raise him. Each boy gave me a different view of life. And the youngest (16) is the wildest ever. What a ride trying to keep up with that one. I got him out of the jungle but I didn't get the jungle out of him. He's a helluva teacher and a damn fine human being.

 

Bad Role Model?

Actually most gay ppl I know were raised by str8 parents. Could be that rebellion kids have against their parents.

Maybe gays should be subsidized to raise kids so we can ensure heterosexuality survives.

 

HAH! I love it. Not only are the poor little things straight they're fertile as hell too. I got grandkids wanderin around all over the place. I could use some subsidy here in my golden years.

 

Not that the "opposite gender role" NEEDS to be filled anyway. No child needs the opposite gender role in their family setup. This is a line perpetuated by opponents to gay adoption, because it makes it look like they are opposing it through the child's best interest, rather than them being prejudiced against gay people. A child does not need a female AND a male gender role in it's upbringing. I cannot see how this in anyway greatly advantages a child, aside from that it's seen as the "norm", and will not be prejudiced against. I had both gender roles in my upbringing. I can't see how I gained any advantages in life PURELY because of that fact.

 

I think 2 wo/men could raise children perfectly and grow up to be healthy, mentally and physically, and they could offer love, that should be all that is needed to adopt as a gay person. Shit, most straight parent families are fucked up, at least gay people prepare for it.