"I want to break fre-ee!" (a.k.a. fucked up fw/b relationships)

So my friend Leia was involved in this friends with benifits relationship with Ted. Ted is another good friend of mine; a self proclaimed boho into free love (but no actual sex...he's a Christian). But once school started, they began to drift apart. Leia kept confiding in me throughout the school year, about how confused she was, about what she and Ted did over the summer, etc. Even though it was supposed to be a friends with benifits relationship, she loved him like it was a serious one. I told her she needed to talk to Ted about all this. Leia didn't want to talk to him because she was afraid it would warp into this big blow up. I told her that if she didn't talk to Ted it would turn into a big blow up.

And it did turn into a big blow up - with me in the middle. Ted, in his usual boho way, invited me out with a poem. I called him up and told him it wouldn't work because I was to close to Leia, who really loved him, and it woudln't work. Ted complained about how she told everyone too much specifics about their relationship (like what they did) which he told her not to do. So after talking to Ted, he bitches at Leia, then Leia calls me, and I explain what happened. . .

I think they're both at fault in the relationship - they both should have communicated more because Leia was taking it more as a serious friends with benifits thing, and Ted was taking it as a casual friends with benifits thing. Neither of them had seriously discussed their relationship since August.

So I still want to hang around with Ted - not to really do anything as much as just talk about life and hang out more, which I should be able to do. But I'm afraid of hurting Leia even though whatever semblance of a relationship they had has now crumbled into the ashes in the relationship graveyard.

So wtf mates? What should I do?

 

umm... yeah

do that.

hang out with ted. and talk about life. and hang out more. cuz you should be able to.

cheers.

hope that helped

 

its not your fault that they never talked about their relationship( if there even was one) u should have the freedom to do whatever it is that you want to do. go for it....hang out with your friend

 

.

 

drama sucks. I would sit them both down together, say you know things didn't work out for them and that's their fault. you want to chill with them both and you want to make sure it's not going to cause any more problems because you don't want to be caught in the middle. If either care about your feelings one bit they will understand and everything will be cool

 

hi there
well free love does not mean
lots of sex this is the mistake many make

it means be free
to love your mind body soul

and love all

but if you want id not be with any of them
a lover partner best friend maybe for life
should be the one,who makes you laugh
moan talk even cry
so you choose what sort of relationship you would really
love to be involved with..

but be careful many get mixed
up in the words free love,,,,
if you look deeper love is for all
and to be free is to have an open self.

but i know many who do sleep with all
and are unsafe,feel unloved ,unconnected
yet still dont understand love
..so

thats all i can say
free love to all but i choose
a lover for me......

ps i have many friends both female and male
couples singles and i love them very deeply
but my partners love is far more so its ours..

sorry going abit off on one then
so thats all you need to understand
the love word means many to all and
much more to the one you sleep with.

good luck with learning about this emotion in head heart and mind
cause its one hell of a ride if its right.....

 

Whatever you do, be honest. Make sure to tell your friend what's going on. Ideally, before it goes on. Rightly or wrongly, nothing hurts people and makes them feel betrayed more than finding out that kinda information 2nd hand.

 

Ted is a nutcase..u can see that from ur thread...both u and Leia should leave his ass...he will free love there