it turns out he already has a girlfriend..

well, here I am again to bitch about my problems.. it seems like this is a mean streak..
i met a boy last Friday. this whole thing seemed so fate-like to me.. i was supposed to go to a classical concert with a japanese person and translate for him, but in the end, the japanese guy didn't show up and it started to rain so i didn't feel like going home anymore, thought i'd might as well see the concert, you know. i still had an hour to kill.
and then i noticed this guy talking on the phone. he was speaking in english, so i just thought i'd go over and try to talk to him. and anyway, it turns out he's hungarian like me and speaks 22 languages (if this is to be believed) and he's only 22 and we attend the same university, only i'm a freshman and he's in his last year. so i was really thrilled, we talked a lot and he seemed genuinely interested.. and we talked in english the whole time. and he sat beside me when the concert started, and when he went outside to smoke he said "you're not gonna go anywhere, are you?" like, really anxiously. i think i like him a lot. so when the concert was over he said "can i ask you a favor, could we swap email addresses?" i said sure, but none of us had a pen or a piece of paper, so he said he'd memorize my address and i saved his on my phone..he wanted to give me his phone number but i have no money on my phone right now so its pointless.

so i went home all happy and dreamy and waited for an email and a weekend passed..i got a bit impatient so i checked him out on facebook, and i found out he's already in a relationship.
so i felt like a complete fool. i mean, would you give your email address or your phone number to a complete stranger you've just met?.. well yeah maybe he was just trying to be friends, but all the same, i got too carried away..
he seemed really interested.. and really happy to have met me.
but then i wonder why he didnt write me?.. could it be he forgot my address?.. or more possibly, he changed his mind.
and, i know this is foolish.. but is there any chance that he leaves his current girlfriend?..i don't think so, but i still hope, maybe if he likes me better...
this made me so sad i wish i never met him in the first place..
i wrote him an email btw.. and he doesnt know i know he has a gf

 

Find yourself your own man

 

^ you can take that

OR

you can listen to me. He found you interesting it looks like. But hes not gonna get all dreamy about you hence he hasnt emailed you yet, hes thinking. and he has a girlfriend, Notice how you started flirting with him and he didnt work in "I have a girlfriend" to you?

that could be good or bad.

He could be a social guy or he could be having problems with the girl.

Of course hes not gonna get aggressive to you and add you and email you, that just tells that something is up, a small connection

I'd hide out for a bit, see whats up with his girl and him. Shes only a girlfriend.

If you think you have a strong connection with him, keep it up but dont let things get suspicious.

 

I agree 100% with lulu. You don't know what his relationship status really is, so don't assume he wasn't serious. Just talk to him, play it like you never looked him up, and see what happens. If he starts lying, saying he doesn't have a girlfriend, etc., then I'd start to wonder. But I know people who never even check their Facebook page, so even then... but if he's active on Facebook then yeah, he'd be fucking with you.

 

You're fucking crazy!

I sure hope for his sake that he doesn't e-mail you.
For yours too. It seems like you have a lot of personal stuff to work out; it'd probably be best to do that before getting in a potential relationship.

When I read this post I can just feel your anxiousness, your oversensitivity, your neediness and emotional hyperness. SLOW DOWN. It's not life or death; it's friendship (or just maybe future) romance.

You're overthinking everything. You're letting your emotions control your brain and it's skipping any rational thought.

This is some guy you just met - there was no reason for him to tell you he had a girlfriend. I don't tell every girl I talk to in my day to day life that I'm in a relationship. That would be absolutely redundant. It just doesn't work like that.

Yes, I would give my e-mail address to someone I just met - it's my fucking e-mail address; just hit delete if you aren't interested. It's really not some personal milestone.

Phone, I don't give out to anyone, and really wished I didn't have - but again, it's not some personal milestone - just a phone number.

You definitely did get carried away but you're still carried away with all this goddamned speculation. Maybe he was trying to be friends, maybe he wanted in your pants, maybe he wanted in your heart, maybe he's in a relationship, maybe he isn't, maybe it's just a rouse to keep his ex-girlfriend at bay (the one he's always going to have a thing for whether he admits it or not) maybe he's in a relationship - an open one - with like 50 people.
It doesn't fucking matter. Not yet.
One step at a time.

Calm down..
Calm down..
Calm down..
Calm down..
Calm down..
Calm down..
Calm down..
Calm down..
Calm down..
Calm down..
Calm down..
Calm down..
Calm down..
Calm down..
Calm down...

 

Yeah. That's a good point too

 

you need to calm down boy

you gotta realize people reactions to people are totally different than yours

yeah she'll get excited, thats a teenagers hormones, emotions w/e

give her the right advice, and thats not calling her crazy

 

Just because it isn't your advice doesn't mean it's not good advice.

I never said she was the same as me, and I happen to be quite excitable at times too, so yeah..
There's a difference between being excited and over-excited. I feel she is quite the latter, and when I was much younger, I often got to be similarly.

Let her decide who's advice is useful, stop trying to monopolize, and fuck off.

 

Dude, :chillpill:! I actually agree with your advice, but I think stacy has a point: calling someone fucking crazy isn't going to convince her to listen to you.

 

Sometimes people need to hear the cold hard truth, and not have things sugar coated.

 

have you tried dating women? perhaps you could find one clingy and needy like yourself

 

Who said anything about sugar-coating the truth? Is it necessary to attach profanity to truth to make it sound more "truthful"?

Ah well. I'm not really arguing with either you or Duck. I believe Duck meant well, and I do agree with what he said. It's just that, I see Stacy's point too. He could have given the same advice without the term "fucking crazy", and it would still have been true and without sugar coating. :cheers2:

 

this^^

if he has a girlfriend and he's playing flirty flirt with other girls that should be a big red flag for you, definitley dont be making any moves and if he does make one ask him straight out and save yourself some heartache.

 

You'd be surprised.

But anyways, when I wrote that, it was just my reaction to her post taking over, and it's probably not needed..

Some people though, they need challenged before they'll listen to any viewpoint outside of one they wouldn't be akin to listening to. Other people, can't be challenged or they will automatically reject whatever you say. More people than you'd ever expect (or at least than I'd ever expect) respond quite well to it.

 

I agree completely with Duck, it's not that serious at this stage, and she needs to take it slow and not get so worked up over every little thing, something that both I & Duck used to do, as Duck admitted himself. I'd get worked up over every little detail. Now I'm more chill and let whatever happens happens.

And stacy: Shut the fuck up. Seriously.

 

Yeah same.
Common factors:
marijuana
growing up

I'm inclined to say it's a bit of a mix =D

 

hey hey hey
no need to argue over this. because i found the "answer", thank you
a week passed, he didn't write, and i just don't care about it anymore, it's not worth my efforts. even if he writes, i'm not gonna get all excited about it.

i normally don't react like this, so i can't really explain it but i don't have to, anyway. my emotions waver from passiveness to over-excitement.

thank you for the advice
Stacy, Zorba, thanks, i'd take your advice in case he made a move, but since he hasn't, and i don't think he will, i'm no longer interested, gonna find somebody else instead.

Duck: i don't think you can judge people or know their personality from one post. what you wrote might be true but not all true. just partly. yeah, i'm crazy, isn't everybody? but apart from analyzing my supposed self, i think you're right and appreciate the advice.
no offence but it seems like you got pretty overexcited over this thread too anyway, all of your advice has been pretty useful to me.

i gave him a week and he didn't answer so that's it.

 

me neither. I meant you are acting crazy, in a casual context.

Wasn't excited at all.

 

okay then all's well

 

Yeah. I, too, have found that weed has been a big help.