Why have your relationships ended?

I have two questions.

Firstly: how many relationships have you had? (By relationships I'm talking about an emotional/sexual which lasted for a few months or more)

Secondly: how did those relationships end?

As the thread starter, I'll naturally go first.

Q1: I've had four previous relationships.

Q2:

1. In my late teens. She was the same age as me. Ended because we went to University together and she met someone else. Cheated on and dumped.

2. Was at age 19. She was 16. Lasted about six months. Ended because she became too emotionally attached to me too quickly. A bit scary.

3. During my twenties, lasted about 9 years. She was about the same age as me. Ended because we got together for the wrong reasons and married for even worse ones. We had completely different and incompatible personalities. We were lucky to have lasted as long as we did - or masochists. Haven't quite decided which yet!

4. Was over the last few years. She was much younger than me. Ended because she wanted to have more experience in her life than just me. Cheated on and dumped.

That's my experience of relationships. Just wondering if I've been unlucky or my experience is typical, if there is such a thing as typical?

 

I usually end relationships because they almost always end up displaying the following traits after putting up a front.

1. Drinking problems.
2.Psychiatric/emotional problems.
3.Cheating
4. Using people.

The majority of the women I've been involved with were like this, therefore I've decided to give up and not bother anymore. I don't care if I have to spend the rest of my life alone, I'm sick of the same old Bullshit that happens every time.

 

I've had two so far.

My first one lasted for about two and a half years. I choose not to go into the details, but I basically got into a situation where I had to go out of the country for an extended period of time, and I believe this contributed to our ending the relationship. It was, at the time, the decision neither of us wanted to make. But we kind of got forced into a situation where we had to at least put our relationship on hold. I returned home the following year and she and I officially broke up. It was a mutual decision in the end.

For the second relationship... It was an online relationship that lasted about 3 month, or close to that at least. I was great while it lasted, but the girl in the end wanted to explore other possibilities I suppose. I don't blame her for that, it was an online relationship after all, and ideally she should be with someone she could be with physically.

 

Thank you both for your replies. I'm aware that it could be a difficult subject for some people.

AT98 - you seem to have had some miserable experiences. I hope there were some really good times inbetween to make up for the bullshit.

 

No problem. And I wish AT98 all the best, too.

 

Thanx guys. There have a been a some good ones but they have been very few and far between......

 

Q1: I've had 4 relationships excluding the one I'm currently in.

Q2:

1) We lived far apart and neither of us drove. He lived in filthy conditions that I couldn't tolerate. He also refused to get a job and constantly tried to get me to feel sorry for him. The final straw was when he told me he couldn't wait to make out with his future children. That and his fantasy of holding someone underwater and watching them drown to death. I took off in the middle of the night.

2) He went to jail for a few months and I fell for someone else. Though I made sure to break it off with him before entering into an emotional and physically relationship with the other guy, I still feel awful.

3) He was obsessed with himself. It's all he ever talked about. He seemed to have no regard for me whatsoever. A perfect example is how he would go through drive-thrus and never ask if I'd like anything, he'd just buy for himself and eat it infront of me. He also never wanted to have children because he was afraid of the chance of having a child with down syndrome or something like that. Having children is one of my biggest aspirations in life, whether they are mentally/physically impaired or not, so I knew I could never be happy with him.

4) He was a psychopath. Plain and simple.

 

Forwardadventure, that first guy sounds horrible :S Glad you escaped when you did xD

I've had 3 previous relationships

1) When I was 16, first kiss blahblah. Lasted for a month and a half, he said he saw me more as a friend. The weekend after he was with someone else, and 3 or 4 years on, is still with.
2) He wasn't quite.. right. We lived quite far apart. He was very clingy. He cried every time I saw him. Seriously. Every time. usually about how he thought he wasn't good enough, or that I'd find someone else. I ended it. There were lots of little annoying things too. I was going crazy!!! I think that one lasted 4 months.. Felt like a bloody lifetime.
3) Psycho. This one was when I had just started college, lasted for a year and a half. I met him at a party, and from 2 weeks in I wasn't sure about it. I always said "I'll see how it goes". Never, ever say that in a relationship. He was very troubled, he told me things about his past and about his life that made me feel guilty and I felt I needed to stay with him just incase he tried anything stupid again. He told me after we had broken up once that an hour or two after, he went into town somewhere and started a fight with a gang, and they battered his legs up. He couldn't walk for hours, and just stayed at the same spot. I broke up with him and got back together again a few times. Like a re-bound thing. I forgot why I broke up with him, then the physical need came back. I was so scared of being alone. I didn't even mean to break up with him the last time. I was going to say maybe have a break before I go to uni, then see how it goes after that. But then he went mental after I said maybe we should just break it off. Proper mental. Slammed doors. He even twirled a knife on the counter. He was very troubled indeed. We broke up for lots of reasons. He ignored me when we were with friends. He was too busy talking to everyone else and making himself centre of attention. He drank to forget. It may not be as serious as someone who wants to drown someone, but it was a huge part of my life I have now forgotten. I have grown up. I know who I am, and where I'm going in life. He is still wandering in the mist of life. And he is a c*nt!

But now I'm very very happy in my current relationship Thankgod.. No more psychos.

 

I had maybe 3 relationships that gave effort but all ended bad

1. clingy and a bit of a bum

2. cheated with minors

3. death


I didnt really have GOOD relationships. One was a descent guy but he was way too clingy

One was really fun actually, best boyfriend I had but the love wasnt there and he was a cheater...still is

and the 3rd one was of course the guy I fell for and he loved me just as much. if he was still alive, id still be with him

 

My sympathies, you seem to have had some grave misfortune. I can't imagine what that would be like to have someone you're with and you love die. Excruciatingly painful, I'd guess.

 

Thank you. He meant a lot to me and I never realised how much love there was til sadly he past. I learned so much from him. I know what I want and I know what I deserve because of him. I do very much miss him but I know that he'll always be here

 

'relationships'

1. i became distant, she cheated
2. we were both emotionally unavailable. we broke it off but continued fucking for a while
3. we were both assholes. i became distant, she cheated.
4. i think my current 'relationship' may be failing, but she makes me pretty happy so i hope it lasts a while.

 

I've had three so far. My first one ever lasted 4 months, because he had psychiatric problems. He dumped me. I got upset for a long time. Plus I was 17 at the time.

My major one lasted 5 years. Started at age 20, ended age 25. Ended because I cheated and it wasn't going anywhere as far as I could see. i.e. No outlook to marriage/settling down.

Recent one lasted four months. Ended because he said I needed to give him some space to explore himself, he wasn't ready for a relationship, didn't know what he was looking for from the beginning. Probably just wanted sex. He was inexperienced, hadn't had a relationship in 9 years.

Right now, I'm friends with all three ex's, strangely enough. I forgive them. Still get pretty upset about the last two, especially the most recent one. **sigh** I really miss him, but i've been single now for about 5 months... been coping. I feel very strange being single. I have vowed to throw myself into work and uni and probably will take some time out from sex and love, despite being in university.

 

WOW! I am so sorry to hear this. Hope things are better for you now. **hugs**

 

1. two

2. 1st - we were kids.. I was 16 when we met and 17,5 when i left.. I got tired and unhappy

2nd - It started 1 year and 4 months ago, it endred a week ago. I'm still a mess. He doesn't love me anymore, as he told me... But we were so close and everything, so I think that he still misses me. That's why he was calling me every day this week... Yesterday I told him that I need space and time, to forget him and move on.. I'll call him when I'll be better.. In the meantime, I hope his feelings will come back. I've never been so much in love like I'm right now, and I know that even though he sais that he doesn't love me - not everything is dead, as he obviously needs me

 

My first SERIOUS relationship was when I was 18. We lived together for 3 years and I was young and on LOTS of drugs at the time. I cheated on him. He wanted me back and we did get back together but it was really the drugs that tore us apart. I was in full party mode and he had just come out of it. Since then I've had lots of "casual" flings which I always end because I don't find these men to be "boyfriend material". I assume they think the same of me as we all know what a casual fling really is. My last relationship ended because he cheated on me and for me that's deal breaker. He was also a compulsive liar and a crack addict. I tried, but couldn't help him even tho I loved him. Then I dated a friend of his for a month but ended that because I found him way BORING. Now I'm single and seeing someone but I don't know what it is yet......friendship or if there will be more to it.

 

1. the first real relationship i had when i was when i was about 22. lasted for approx 10 years all told... we had two children together... i already had a daughter. he became increasingly violent and abusive when he drank in particular. then his father abused one of our children. he wasn't supportive and said i'd made it up so i left him. we are on very bad terms still... gawd bless him...

2. the second serious relationship i had was when i was about 34 and it lasted just under 10 years... he was/is a really nice man, but he kept so much hidden from me. it was years before i realised his problem was alcohol, crack and sex addiction... he got into increasing amounts of trouble. in the end, he was trying to get me into the crack too and i got sick of hearing him wretching in the mornings and having to go get his vodka so he could get out of bed... i had to ask him to leave, which he did.... he got himself into rehab and lives a completely different life now... he's a dj for bbc radio... we don't see each other because he is still a sex addict and i needed more than just a sexual relationship.

3. currently in my third serious relationship (i'm 47) and i believe i have learned a lot from the previous two and hope i have attracted someone who is very loving and open... it certainly seems that way... i feel a great deal of love for him and he seems to feel the same way... he is also a sex addict but has the capacity to form a loving relationship too, and that's ok by me... we talk a lot and that's a good thing... we both have baggage but know whos bags are whos

 

I have commitment issues. When I start to really get to know a girl and my "walls" I built up start getting torn down, I usually enter like a panic mode and break up.

 

One.

We were together from 1977 to 2001. 21 of those years married. We went through death and life together. Two awesome kids to show for it. More bad times than good; She had baggage and I traveled with a carry on. We never had a chance.

But the good times were heavy as gold and the bad times light as a feather. And

If I had it all to do over again,
The good and the bad, the vice and the sin,
I’d touch the fire that burns as bright as the sun
And fall into darkness before the day's done.

 

Thats beautiful to read...
xxx