Condom Ettiquette ?

Lol - Awwww... I make a mean Sauerkraut at home. I won't be having it there. It's one of my family's favourite dishes, so I make it way too often. I don't want to eat it when I am out there. lol. Wienerschnitzel is just sooooo good. Only I just can't eat it because it makes me ill. I will be stuck on fruit only, when I am out there. Yay! Least it is cheap! Lol.

It's in dusseldorf, and I believe it is called the Aquazoo..... Google said: Der Internetauftritt des Aquazoos-Löbbecke Museum Düsseldorf

What is the Wilhelma?
I am so excited about the trip now I've settled the whole 'what to do' issue in my head, with you replies, help. I've kinda brushed the fact that I might or might not be meeting him to one side, and I bought my very first suitcase yesterday. Wooo! Can't wait!!! :hurray: :cheers2:

 

Hi Jinny,

I tried to make Sauerkraut several years ago. I used a vessel made of stoneware, a piece of board and a heavy stone to press the cabbage. If I remember correctly I was too impatient and couldn't wait until the Sauerkraut was ready to eat.

I guess I eat meat much to often. But it's yummy. I eat fruits only in restaurants or if I'm invited by someone. It isn't that I don't like fruits, but somehow I just don't buy them and I don't miss them on my menu. Hm, apple pie comes to mind.

The Wilhelma (http://www.wilhelma.de/nc/en/home.html) is a zoo and a botanical garden in Stuttgart here in the southwest of Germany. They have an aquarium, too.

If it don't worked out as expected with him, well, you have made good plans for your journey. There is so much to see and to explore. I'm sure you will enjoy your trip.

Regards
Gyro

 

Any updates on the german visit, jinny?

 

I am leaving tomorrow/Friday morning at 2:30am.

I feel sick at the moment to be honest, and not just from basic nerves. I just got offline from talking to him. He was very weird tonight, and very stressed from a bad day at work. And even more stressed that I hadn't looked up how I was going to get from one place to the other, and planned anything. I figured that I would just go along with whatever, whenever. But no - he needed to know times and locations, and made sure I knew how to get around safely, and things. I kinda felt like my Dad was lecturing me.

Since my last posting, he has been wonderful. And no mention of the half price condoms! And this week I have actually felt like I could trust that he wasn't wanting just one thing. I know - I'm dumb!

Anyway, so there we were talking, and as I am ill at the moment and eating only limited foods, he asked if there was anything I wanted from the supermarket. I told him no. He then said he had so much to organise, and I asked what. He reeled off a list of things, that you would worry about if someone special was coming to visit you, and I thought it was quite actually quite sweet. I told him not to worry, don't make a fuss, just chill out, and be himself, as we were only meeting in town. And then he did it again. He said he doesn't work like that, and he has to buy condoms, unless I'd already bought some, and when I fell silent, and started feeling sick in the pit of my stomach, he started telling me "no glove, no love" type things. I told him that he does realise that I am not going to have sex with him, but even though he said "yes", I am gutted...again.

I mean. God - I am so stupid! What the hell am I doing!?! Why didn't I listen more, and not suddenly get rose-tinted glasses this week. I know I will have a good time with the other stuff - but after such a great few days I was so looking forward to seeing him.

And I have a confession...and I feel such an idiot for doing it. I had such a great few days talking with him, I was thinking, that if it all happened naturally, maybe its not such a bad thing and there would be no regrets (I feel very differently after tonight though). Then I had a vivid dream of the condom splitting, that was scarily real to me, and before I know it, I had bought my first Morning After Pill...just in case! WHAT THE HELL!!!!! AM I OUT OF MY TINY MIND! I won't be sleeping with him.

Then just before signing off he said "I hope I don't disappoint you" and there was such sadness in his voice. I asked for an explanation - and thankfully it was nothing to do with sex, but he said that I might be disappointed in how he looks off camera, and how he speaks, or how he smells, or something. I know camera's distort things, but I know it was the man I've been speaking to for a year on webcam, not just via voice chat, but whereas before all of this, I would have just told him not to be so down on himself, now I just said again "Just be yourself. It will be fine"

I feel such a fool right now. Germany here I come.

 

Go to Amsterdam instead. Get a room across the street from a coffeshop and just smoke the whole time.

 

Dear Jinny,

I hope all went well for you?

Hm, I had thought a bit about that guy. Perhaps the simplest explanation fits best and he is just insecure and don't know how to act and react in this situation?

Regards
Gyro

 

Hi Guys !!!

Wow - what an adventure. On the morning I was going to meet him, at 1am I woke up with my face hurting - I had an allergic reaction to something in the room and was so swollen I could barely open my eyes. Drank lots of water - showered lots - and by 6am I was a little more human - if exhausted. Hotel calls doctor, which makes me late for meeting my guy. I texted but he didn't get it and he was waiting about for around 45mins. And by then I was feeling so sorry for myself I did something very stupid and potentially dangerous, and agreed to go back to his apartment, but I didn’t care anymore I was too miserable about my appearance.

So he met me on the platform. When he saw me, he gave me the biggest, warmest bear-hug I've ever had, and there was an instant connection. We chatted like we'd been together for years. We drove back to his apartment, and he offered me a seat on the sofa and he sat on the one to the right, and I noticed very quickly he was copying my moves - mirroring they call it. Then we played Streetfighter, on his playstation, and laughed like kids, as I’d never played it before or a playstation.. Gradually, I noticed that we barely had lost physical contact since we met - there was always a part of us touching. Nothing sexually, just contact.

Then we messed about with my new camera phone and I laughed my head off when he told me to look at the camera, and whispered “baby – listen…”- and then quickly turned his head and kissed me on the cheek gently - only the picture makes me look like I am going to vomit - and really - I wasn't thinking that at all! I was just so happy to be with him and it was just so comfortable. We made a video project that he'd suggested we do a week ago, and while he edited it and published it, I was curled up on a jumbo rectangle bean bag, and was watching him - our feet touching - and it was so nice and safe and relaxed. Next thing I know, something wakes me and I look up to find him taking a photo of me,on my camera phone. Turned out I had fallen asleep at his feet! Lol. omg - so embarrassed.

Anyway - after that we curled up on the sofa together and watched a movie, that was english, and then some german television. Thing is I guess it was just hormones - but omg - I wanted him. I have NEVER felt like that. I found my body, as I shifted, stopping in all sorts of suggestive postions, and quickly altering myself so I didn't look like an animal in heat - I even caught myself altering my blouse, so the top of my black lace bra peeked over my fuschia pink top! Seriously unlike me - and yet - nothing - he didn't lay a finger in a sexual way on me. Not once. At one point he accidentally - when we were play fighting - brushed my breast - he went bright red, and yanked his hand away and apologised sincerely. I told him it was ok he could touch if he wanted…this time, and then I got all embarrassed because it just came out of my mouth without me thinking. He never once took advantage of me, never mind how I was practically offering myself on a plate to him. I don’t know what got into me!

When it came time to go - well he got worried about public transport and me being a lone female in a foreign country travelling in the dark - so he took me to the station at 7.30pm (I'd planned to hang out till 9pm at least if all went well) I sat upright on the sofa, and as I was about to stand up, he suddenly dived at me, slid his arms around my arms and shoulders, lay me back on the sofa, and kissed me very lightening quick on the lips (my very first lip kiss!!!!) , and properly lay on top of me for a couple of seconds, before quickly getting up...well - trying to...except, his arm was then trapped under me so the getting up was not as smooth as the laying down! lol. To be honest, I was so sad he did get up – it felt so good. I so just wanted to rip his jacket off and well... yea…*blush*.

We talked as he drove me back to the station. He wanted reassurance about how I felt about him, so I showed him the text messages I’d sent to friends saying he was perfect. and he also said that he would never have sex on the first date He said especially as I was a virgin, he said it shouldn’t be a rush job, and he wanted to spend hours making sure everything perfect not just make love and pack me off back to the hotel. Of course I melted, but in my head, my hormones were raging and screaming “I don’t care – do me now!” lol.

Back at the station, I fought the tears, and wished I didn't have to leave, and as we talked, his voice was shaking and he would suddenly grab me and hug and kiss my cheek every now and again, and we then went back to looking in each others eyes. I cried all the way back to Cologne, and then went and sat in the entirely Candlelit Cathedral, lit a candle and figured to say a few silent words, to any passing deities, for a happy future…and maybe a future for us. He called me, later too - but I could barely speak for emotions. We have texted and emailed since. He tells me how he loves me, and how he misses me painfully. I haven't stopped feeling the tears flow down my chubby cheeks, since we parted. I miss the physical touch of him so much and yet, as weird as it sounds, I can't remember how it felt. It feels more like the memory of a long ago watched movie - which upsets me too, because I want to carry the sensation of his hands in mine forever, and a little part of me deeply regrets meeting him, because of the miles between us.

So anyway - I think the ones who suggested it, you guys might be right. He IS very insecure in himself - wouldn't let me take a pic of him without baseball cap and a sweater hoodie jacket thing on, as he is worried about his receeding hairline. He was worried about a spot he’d picked in the centre of his forehead. He was worried about his worn out favourite ‘lucky’ socks he was wearing. He kept fiddling with his crucifix around his neck, and he brushed his teeth twice after eating a candy bar, and later a yougart. He was very embarrassed about brushing my breast, and I think he sneaked out to err... have a quick release at one point because during the movie, I had my hand in his lap and without thinking I was brushing and stroking his thigh gently, and after a minute or two, he lept up and turned deliberately so I couldn't see his front, and went to the bathroom for a little while. Then he came back and cuddled up so tightly again.

What I did get out of it was trust - I do trust him now more than ever. I got physical contact, my first kiss on the lips...though I didn't respond as it was quick and I didn't know what to do to respond! Lol. I had a great time, and really, I did sleep with him.... lol - well at his feet on a giant beanbag at least!

Thanks for all your support, and help and kindness, guys. Who knows - he may well turn out to be ‘just another guy’ in future, but for now I’m happy to carry on and see how it all plays out.

Now – all I need to do, is to find a way to raise money to get back to Germany as cheaply and as quickly as possible! Lol.

 

Ha, like the scene in The Holiday with Jack Black.

Actually, our cultural "boundaries" make it very embarrassing when a guy does this. It has happened with co-workers (even my boss) and usually goes unmentioned but registered.

So good it worked out for you and thanx for the update. It was a good read. Working on the screenplay now.

 

Yeah, great to hear it work out well! I must admit it appears that I initially jumped to a conclusion of sorts in regards to the real intentions of the fellow. I'm a tad embarrassed to have done something I normally despise greatly, because every time someone else jumps to conclusions it irritates me, lol.

But the allergy thing was a bit of an unfortunate event, eh... I wonder what had caused it. Maybe the soap/shampoo/conditioner they put in your room, or even some detergent residue on the sheets and/or towels... Could be anything. *shrug*

 

Dear Jinny,

ah, I like success stories . I'm sure you both find a way to deal with the distance.

Reading your other postings I have no doubt that you will do .

Regards
Gyro

 

You weren't the only one to think he was in it for just one thing... I mean - who asks for half priced condoms! LMAO! Not to mention the rest. But he was indeed the perfect gentleman - it was me who was not behaving in my usual manner. I blame hormones! LOL

And the allergy thing completely threw me - I had my own bedding and toiletries with me - but something in the room set me off - as I was all puffed up again the next night, and as soon as I was out of there - I began to recover.

I had a very bad experience with customs on the flight home - so I am now looking at how to get from London to Dusseldorf as cheaply as possible by train! lol. And ways to raise that kind of money on a regular basis. Loved the flight - just the customs experience was awful. Can't do flying without the customs and don't want to go through that again. And at least on a train I can see all the scenary wizz by and I like long journeys - so 6hours isn't an issue for me.

I wish I could get back there right now. siiigghhh..... the effect you men have on us ladies! lol.

 

Oh yeah, the custom experiences are often bad. I think that's universal, lol.

 

This is all way to long to read, let him buy his own damn rubbers they don't cost anything, I just wanna know how you go about having "Cyber sex" I never did get that, you just picture this cheap ass having sex with you or what ??

Just save the $1.50 it will cost you for the rubbers and cuddle up with a dirty book..

Peace