A guy who had a crush on me in high school sent me an expensive birthday present. Back in high school, I told him multiple times that I didn't feel that way about him and his advances made me uncomfortable. After we graduated, I didn't talk to him, see him, answer his emails or texts... anything. I thought that when I went off to college he would move on. He hasn't, and has recently been trying to contact me through facebook. I ignore that, too. However, when I came back home for Thanksgiving with my family (which is around the same time as my birthday) I got a package from him: roses, chocolate, and a teddy bear had been mailed to my house. This must have cost around $60 dollars, plus shipping (I checked the flower company website). Does he still think I'll start liking him? When I first turned him down, it wasn't because I found him rude or anything. It was just awkward talking too him because he didn't seem to understand my sense of humor. Or maybe I didn't understand his. I'm not sure. Also, he looked at me funny. You could say he was gazing at me with love, but it felt more like a rancher gazing proudly at his prize cow. Or a master gazing proudly at the work his apprentice has accomplished. It felt weird, and I didn't like it. His advances involved origami and walking me to class, until I finally got him to stop. He also wrote poetry for me. So, although I told him I didn't like him and otherwise ignored him, I didn't want to do anything mean like threaten to call the cops when he wouldn't leave me alone. I still don't want to do that, but just ignoring him hasn't done anything, and he hasn't done anything to me physically, or threatened to, or threatened to do anything to himself. I don't know what to do. I've told him I don't like him like that, that giving me gifts makes me uncomfortable. I've tried giving the gifts back (back in high school he usually just left them at my desk in some class period he's not in... I don't know how he managed that, or where he got my schedule and seating assignment). Usually he just gave me paper cranes, but this is an expensive gift. Do I acknowledge it and tell him to leave me alone? Or just ignore it like I've been doing? I opened the box when I received it, because it didn't say who sent it on the package... Is it too late to send it back to the flower company? Do I just keep them? I feel really sick to my stomach about it all and I need advice.
This sounds like it may be time for the law. A firm letter saying "Never contact me again. If you do so, I'm filing harassment charges" may be in order. Before sending the note, check with the cops in your area about what they will do if you send that letter and he persists and you contact them. Since you're in college, there might be a Women's Center who can advise you. (Or perhaps free legal advice through the U. When typed on legal letterhead, that letter has a lot bigger impact.)
Man, that's too bad. The poor guy. I can only wonder what's going through his head for him to persist like that. I would probably just keep ignoring him. How long has it been since you talked to him? Does he try to contact you (in person) or sends you things while you're at college? If ignoring him doesn't work, tell him to stop. If he doesn't, then take legal action.
I haven't talked to him since May. He can't send me things at college because I didn't tell him where I'm staying. He did send some letters to my parent's house. I think he gave up trying to call me back in July. I couldn't figure out how to block numbers on my phone so I just ignored it when he called. I guess I can tell him to leave me alone again and make sure my facebook is set to private. I like the women's center idea, too. They can tell me what to do if that doesn't work. I've also given the flowers to a nearby nursing home. Even though they're red roses I figure someone who's family didn't visit them for Thanksgiving will enjoy them, and I don't want to look at them or waste them. The teddy bear is going in the Christmas donation bin and I'll probably give the chocolate to my cousin. I'm not sure what to tell him in an email, though. "Thank for the flowers, leave me alone?" I know you're supposed to break up with people in person, but we were never together in the first place and I've told him in person enough times. I don't want to meet up with him. I don't really feel threatened by him. I just want him to leave me alone and find someone who will actually like him back.
Yup. Sounds good enough to me. Which is why an e-mail is more appropriate than face-to-face communication. Especially if its short and blunt, albeit polite. Like your suggestion. It's short, polite (you're thanking him) and blunt (you're telling him pointblank to leave you alone). You can include this in the e-mail.
