Hey I live in America, i have been here for almost 3 years i came from different culture different believes and values, which means i have a moderate idea about American culture my questions are: what is the real meaning of ''date'' when someone ask me to have a lunch with him is that considered a date? does it necessarily mean sex? i remember a guy once asked me to come to his house and he was honest with me about his intention to a degree that made me confused after i met him and that was at school, he asked me to have a sex from the first time and he was VERY CLEAR. it is unacceptable in our culture to ask a girl this question and that could means you despise her especially if you didn't know her before. also it could mean that you don't respect her. i don't know if its the same case in here i have interpreted his question into two things: 1- it could be normal for American to ask this question? 2- or its not normal but since i'm a stranger he found himself didn't have to monitor his behave. On the other word, he thought that he can say what ever he wants and whatever i think about him, it doesn't matter as i said i'm a stranger How do you interpret his attitude? i'm not writing that because i'm mad, but i just want to understand. by the way, i don't know if its important to mention that or not but i'm 27 years old Thank you in advance,,
What ever any of it means,you certainly don't have to have sex with anyone you don't want to.You will have to figure out on your own when a date is a date by observing how he acts if you accept , how he acts if you pass and how he acts at the lunch if you accept.#1=No,it's not normal to ask someone for sex without some kind of familiarity.#2=He showed a lack of respect.I doubt he despises you-when men despise women here,they might try to injure them in some way--he probably figured he would ask to see what would happen and if you said yes,he would get sex and if you said no--no harm done.You should post this in the womens forum.Watch out for liars here in the states--many,many men will say anything to have sex with women and the sex won't mean anything but a shallow conquest to them. Welcome to the states.
thank you so much for your response i also think he was showing me no respect but i said by myself maybe it was normal. Your answer was really helpful Thank you again
Neda ( Iranian Im guessing) it is sometimes difficult to live between two cultures, best thing to do is follow your own heart, if you feel something is wrong, then it is wrong. Dont go against what your own heart tells you, everyone if diffrent no matter what your race, some girls do those things and some dont, relax and be yourself. Dont do things just to fit in, you will end up letting yourself down. salaam alaikum
Good guessing but no, i'm not Iranian to make it simple for you my mother language is Arabic. Would u wanna give it another try I like your reply it is really meaningful to me. My problem is, sometime since i came from different culture, i just don't wanna be rude at the same time i'm not ganna do what i don't want to do. I'm a too shy person I usually don't make the first step to have a friendship with girl. I almost have no friends. Because i know that i have to do some effort to have friends i mean girls So, I'v noticed here that it is easier as a girl to have a boyfriend than a girlfriend. Because guys do the first step and that helps me alot since i'm a too stupid shy person at the same time, i'm not planning to have a boyfriend. thats why i'm trying to learn more about this kind of relationships Any why, thank you again Fe Aman alla
