For guys who are on some form of estrogen...l

Go for it, I mean if I'm on AIM I obviously have nothing better to do then sit at the computer. My aim is basically always on though and if I don't respond it's because i go away without putting up an away message a lot.

But yes also spiro won't deepen the voice, spiro can stop a voice from becoming deeper if it's started at the start of puberty, but we're all generally past that.

 

Thanks so much <3

You're offline, but I've added you for later

 

I don't think anyone wants to be transsexual. (Me, I think anyone who "wants" to be transsexual has a major screw loose!) Even most transwoman (in fact ALL with genuine lifelong gender dysphoria) would much prefer they were just normal women, as opposed to "transsexual". Me, I don't see why ANYONE would wish to be transsexual. It's a life I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, let alone a life I'd ever have wanted for myself. It's something you either are, or you're not. It's not something you "become", or want to be.

Exactly. For many transwoman who've always had severe gender dysphoria, it's a simple choice. Transition, or die. As tough as life post-transition can be, it's still prefferable to the alternative. (a lifetime of living a lie, suicidal thoughts) Puberty was hell on earth for me, and the effects that has left on my body still devestate me to this day.

 

I'm officially on Spironolactone! I'll post updates if anything happens

EDIT: Within the first few hours, I've had a bit of discomfort downstairs, but that's to be expected.

 

personal i never understod transexuals, im not saying that i hate trans but i just dont understand how can someone be transexual and still love or marry, most transexuals are lieing to there love and personal i could never do that to someone i love. I just dont get you still the gender you were before the sex change.

 

Transsexuals are people too, you know... that wouldn't stop them from loving. And if their lover knows they're a transsexual, who's being lied to? It's not like all MTF people go around seducing straight guys, and FTM, the same to straight girls...

 

How are we lying? The lives we lead beforehand we're lying at. I don't care if my physical body was born male, however my brain is wired or developed in utero has given me a female brain, something in my head since my first memories almost has been telling me I should be female. Not even sex changes, you spend years on hormones you're only your gender anymore with the fact you either have the XX or XY chromosomes you were born with. Also despite the fact many people like to hate on us, on the flip side most transsexuals do and can have loving relationships, not everyone is so concerned with what is/was between the legs when it comes to love.

 

You say you don't understand transsexuals, but yet here you are judging them? Go you!

Geez...you make transsexuals sound like monsters. So they're not capable of loving, or wanting to marry? You really are ignorant, aren't you? On a final point, gender can be seperate from physical sex. This is a scientific fact. Therefore, a lot of transsexuals in fact NEVER were the gender their physical sex betrayed, and was portrayed as to the outside world. Trans people are not living a lie after they start being themselves, they were living a lie BEFORE they started doing that. Transpeople are no different from you, or anyone else priviledged enough to be born with a brain that matched your body. Their needs, and desires are just the same as anyone else's. They are just given the immense handicap of being born with a gender which doesn't match their physical born sex. Which makes having those needs and desires met, a great deal more difficult than for people born without that handicap. Just be thankful you weren't born trans. If you had to walk in these people's shoes for even a day, I'm sure your mind would change very quickly. Oh, and a sex change is NOT a gender change. The person is just changing their physical sex, NOT their gender. Besides the fact, transpeople don't even want to change their gender. They just want their anatomy to be in harmony with their gender.

 

I really have to take issue with what you're saying. A transwoman after surgery is NOT lying by telling a straight guy she's a woman. Obviously if the male organs are there, adn she seriously is considering getting physical with the guy, then she should disclose it, but after that, I can't see where the "lies" come into it. Then again, you seem to still identify as a gay man, so don't really know how it feels to genuinely feel female trapped in a man's body. Do you "want to be female" or do you feel you "are female"? Because if it is the former, you really can't speak for the females who fall into the latter category. Most transwomen do not want to be seen as a "trans" anything, they just want to be seen as a normal woman. If you dont even see yourself as transsexual, why should you tell others that's what you are? So a female transperson should tell a partner "I used to be man", or she's lying? The fact is, for those with genuine gender dysphoria, transwomen were NEVER men in the first place, so stating they are female when that is what they've always seen themselves as, is hardly lying, is it? If someone has a female brain between their ears, then they were never male, at least not completely, (biologically) despite what their sexual organs may suggest. Just because a male/man is how the outside world saw the female, doesn't mean the person ever saw themselves as that, or that is what they actually were. If you've never seen yourself as a man, then saying "I used to be a man" would be the lie.

Anytime I introduce myself to people, it's always purely as female. So am I lying, because I'm not saying I'm intersex or a transsexual?

 

I didn't mean to get you worked up... I didn't say transwomen saying "I used to be a man" is a lie. Physically, they were. There is no question about that. Mentally? They're never a man. There's nothing to debate there.

If a MTF, even AFTER surgery were to hit on a guy, and the guy found out afterward that the woman was not a "natural physically born" woman, he'd probably flip a bitch. It's happened to some of my friends before. If the guy doesn't care and is open minded and it makes no difference, that's love. I know one guy in particular who claimed he was lied to after this situation had happened. I hope what I'm saying makes sense. I'm a little foggy-minded and running on empty.

I'm sorry if I offended you.

 

Because there is no way of stating that, WITHOUT making others think you are a gender which you actually aren't. In any case, if they have a female brain setup, then they weren't totally physically male either. The only way of getting people to see you as the gender you see yourself as, is to not disclose your physical past. Well, for some transwomen, that is a risk they are willing to take. And it is purely up to them if they wish to disclose their physical past or not. The problem is, for trans people, trying to find a loving, phyiscal relationship is FAR more difficult than it is for others. Almost all transwomen who are attracted to men see themselves as heterosexual, not gay. Not that many if any gay men would be attracted to them anyway. Now, in finding a relationship, this is the huge hurdle that heterosexual transwomen have to endure. Gay men aren't going to want them, (not that the transwomen would feel comfortable with a gay man anyway) and most straight men aren't going to want them if they know about the woman's past.

Now, this is the precise reason why I've never even tried to have a relationship with a guy. (Ive never had a relationship with a girl either, not that I would anyway, seeing as I'm straight) Because I know if that were to happen, at least right now, they would find about my physical body set up, and I dont want that. This has been extremely hurtful to me, as I have felt emotionally close to a couple of guys, and I've known they've felt the same. But I've had to push them away, because I know they would have probably rejected me if they knew about my intersex status. Not that Id feel comfortable having any sexual relations with any male sexual parts anyway. Transwomen usually don't disclose their physical past for one reason and one reason only. If they do this, then most men are going to see them as something they are not, and not want to be with them. And as for "tranny chasers", most transwomen dont want to be with guys like that, because they want to be loved as women, not transsexuals. Unfortunately, due to the "tranny porn" phenomena, most people think that's what transwomen are actually like, when in actual fact, most transwomen are nothing like how they are portrayed in that medium. At least some in that industry are actually autogynephiles or transvestites, NOT transsexuals. And some are actually physically born cisgender women, who's image has been digitally manipulated to make it look like they are transsexual.

 

Ah, I see where you're coming from... thanks for allowing yourself to fully explain. I'm really sorry if I hurt you in any way... And I'm sorry you've had a bit of a rough past with relationships... I didn't mean to bring any negativity to the table :\

 

That's okay...it just upsets me when people say transwomen are "lying" by presenting themselves to prospective partners as women. These people have fought all their lives simply to be seen as just themselves. I dont see why they should say something about themselves which they don't believe is true, just to satisfy narrow minded prejudices and ignorance about gender.

Ah well...It was my own fault for letting myself get too close. I wont be doing that again anytime soon though.

 

No worries, I.S.

Little update - small pain down there on occasion. That's to be expected, though when my left arm went numb from the way I was sitting, it hasn't recuperated yet. I'll see how it is in the morning.

I know Spiro can cause something like this, but I won't jump to conclusions just yet.

EDIT: Still feels tingly and numb.

 

Just a bit of an update - so far so good, no bad sides. My sex drives increased... that's about it. I start a higher dose soon.

 

Another update... my blood test results haven't come back yet, so I won't start a higher dose soon.

I noticed my chest hair and arm hair is starting to actually form and get thicker, and I hate this... in the shower I look down and almost want to cry... I can only keep shaving it in hopes a higher dose will minimize any further body hair...

...good news however, my breasts are starting to swell and tingle a little bit, and I think I see they might be growing/forming, though very minimally so far... that gives me a rush of happiness and excitement, soo... I think whoever said I might be a transgender realizing it a little later than most might be right. I feel like a kid waiting for a big gift they know they're going to get on Christmas if they wait long enough. I often daydream about what it would be like living as a woman... thinking of how I would like wearing girl's clothes, and wouldn't mind having breasts...

It's pretty confusing feel free to slap me if I'm not making much sense.

 

There are meds you can take to help block DHT, that too much will cause hair loss. I have seen in some cases hair thickness come back. I have been taking Spirolactone for about 2 years and it has stopped hair loss but not as much growth back. I would suggest checking with your Dr about DHT blockers and see if your a good candidate.
Claire

 

Hey Clarissa, thanks for the post. I'm on a DHT blocker as well as spironolactone (I'm on 1.25mg of finasteride). I'm going to ask my endo about taking estrogen again tomorrow. I want to take at least .5mg of estradiol, mostly for hair loss, but also to rid of some masculinity and hope it would help feminize me. I'm probably crazy =P

 

Hey, I just thought of a very important fact for everyone reading this thread, which being near the top, being long, and being about estrogen I assume at least a few people are. If you're on estrogen, don't smoke. Seriously increases your risk of blood clots. I mean not to something like 50/50 chance you'll get one, but still. It's like how women on birth control are told not to smoke, except generally transwomen are worked up to much higher doses of estrogen then cis-women receive in birth control.

 

Thanks for the tip. And now it's time for an update with some things I haven't necessarily included before.

I'm not only considering estrogen for hair, but for other reasons that were pretty obvious to some from the start. I do have a gender identity problem, and I've been seeking professional help for it for a while, but he can't prescribe anything further than weak anti-androgens, especially not for trans purposes. I'm going to start seeing a new doctor/psychiatrist very soon, since apparently this would be the best and safest way to go about becoming a woman. So far in the past few months, I've told only five people. Two of them want nothing to do with me anymore, which is not a good start. What's preventing me from starting HRT is fear of what it will do to my family relationship, my closest friends relationship, and my work, which requires me to keep the same voice - very generally requires me to be able to perform young high pitched teenage boy sounding voices. I've been told taking estrogen eventually would change your voice entirely, and others claim that's not the case. I guess it goes by age, but I'm 22 now. I figure I'm done with puberty, but I don't exactly know since I (thankfully) don't have too much body hair. Anyways, I'm really scared about the future, but I know this is what I have to do, and I apologize for not coming out before. Even though part of this place is somewhat for that, it's still super scary.

Well, I appreciate all of your help so far guys/gals.