ok so im in a relationship with an older guy(hes double my age) and its great and we're planning on getting married so i can assure u its cool. i just feel like im loosing the hippy side of me and becoming boring and heaven forbid- normal. before i lived here i lived in an anarchist housing co-op and there were 8 of us who lived there full-time and many more couch residents and now its just me and my b/f and the cat so its rather quite compaired to what im used to but i like it but it is different. ive come from a comunity who were very politically active, freegan and who didnt care about how fat u were, if u wore make-up etc and now im in the 'real world' where i feel i have to look my best and i wear make-up nealry every day and worried about my weight which as a recovering anorexic, isnt much fun. i wear normal clothes most of the time i do like it but i do miss my scruffy jeans and grandad-style jumpers. so yeah just needed to rant on here bout it cus if i told my mates back in my old community they might think my bf is bad for me and if i tell him he will get all weird and not understand. love and peace, x
It's just a part of growing up. You don't have to become "normal", but it's only natural to grow smarter and less idealistic as the world is opened up to you.
You shouldn't change the way you are for someone else. Think......if you marry this guy, ten years down the road are you going to regret leaving the lifestyle you loved? If you dressed in those close you talked about, would he be upset?
you don't stop playing because you're getting old, you get old because you've stopped playing i forget who said that
Dear christ, you must never give up who you are for anything or anyone! You say you have to wear make-up and look your best - surely looking your best is when you look in the mirror and see someone you like even if it doesn't conform to "normal"'. I know you say that you love the guy and things are cool but the fact that you needed to air your thoughts is enough to show that you have some misgivings, no?
Just be comfortable with being yourself. You are not your crazy pants, if you feel more positive without it (or with make up) at work or school that doesn't have to be a problem, if you really feel more positive without your make-up at work or only home who cares. It's about you. Nothing has to be lost inside. And why care about some regular john in real life who might think you look to natural, freaky with your non-normal clothes, chubby etc. etc. If you conform to them other people will start thinking stuff like she's wearing too much make-up, she wears boring clothes. There will always be people watching and thinking in the streets, it's really no use conforming to them. That being said, I also adjust my clothes a bit when I go to work or college. It just comes in handy and I really don't care hippies think I'm conforming or squares think I should get rid of my crazy pants.
i got rid of my dreads about 4months ago and i do miss them but i just felt imature if that makes sence withiout soundin nasty. i left uni and had a lot of growin up to do and needed to change a lot of things in my life. he says he loves all my clothes but i know he thinks i look best in a short skirt with my hair straight(which it usualy is) and likes that i wear make-up and make the effort. ive also moved here and dont know anyone so its hard cus all my friends are back in england( im in wales) and theyre all the hippy student vegan-type and i miss them. im also used to traviling around a lot on my bike or hitching and ive had to leave my bike at my mothers house in england cus there isnt anywhere for it to go here and my partener is a clean freak which is something witch im also not used to. im growing up and thats fine cus i needed to but my clothes r old and more than second hand and all too big for me, i dont have any money to get some nice ones so i just have to wear what fits me and theyre more girly i guess. arg i just wish there were hippies for me to hang out with basically, then id feel better i think and i miss my sewing machine but its too heavy to carry on the train so its also at my moms so i cant even do craft things like im used to doing
Ica, you're giving up an awful lot for this relationship. Are you absolutely sure that it's worth the sacrifice?
Be who you are. If you're unhappy with the changes you're making for this guy, then you have to ask how much he really accepts you. Acceptance doesn't equal love but love doesn't exist without it. There's a difference between compromising and giving up everything that makes you comfortable with yourself. What is he giving up for you?
dont let yourself go. you need to be true to you and do what makes you happy.. is he concerned about what makes you happy or would he rather you be just ok and conformed to what everyone else is like where you live? just something to think about..
