I'm in love with my best friend.

I'm in love with my bestfriend and I know she does not feel the same way as I do. I have told her how I felt but I hang out with her everyday so getting over her isn't going to be the easiest thing in the world. Do you think I should give it another go or play it safe and not put our friendship in jeopardy?

 

haha a girl is ur best friend no wonder she doesnt like you

 

Dude I was just recently in your position. Although she wasn't my BEST friend, she one one of my better ones. I told her how I felt about her several times and she kept saying how she liked me as a friend/bullshitting. I was hurting pretty bad, so I decided to eliminate her completely from my life.

Good luck man.

 

Been there, done that. In my case, I asked her out twice in our 10+ year long friendship, the second time of which was actually more like a marriage proposal. She turned me down on both occasions... But we're still best friends.

Whether your situation will result in the same way mine did, or in a little less desirable way, no one can tell right now. But if she believes in her friendship with you, she will remain a friend. After all, true friends rock like no other.

 

well, she's one of my good friends i'm not one of those guys that only hangs out with girls and you think are gay haha.

 

This is the honest-to-God-truth. I was reading this thread, and I got to your post: "...I was hurting pretty bad, so I decided to eliminate her..." somehow completely missing "...completely from my life...". For a second there, I thought I had unmasked a serial killer! (Glad its not true)

 

i've been in your situation. even though you may not be able to transcend the friendship you have currently you may be able to use her unique perspective to improve yourself.

she will have an intimate knowledge of your hangups and with her input you may be able to become a better boyfriend to whomever you decide to date. after all a true friend will be there before your next girlfriend, during, and after she becomes an ex-girlfriend.

 

thanks for the advice everyone. i'll keep it in mind but i really think its a lost cause so i'm just going to try to give up.

 

I know how you feel man.
I love my best friend.
Problem is,he's had the same girlfriend for 4 years.
Ah, but he left her for me for awhile...then went back to her.
He gave me a taste and then left me hanging.
I didn't speak to him for about a month. haha
We're cool now, but when you love your best friend, it can get tough.
If I were you, I would play it safe for now. From experience, it only makes things harder unless you KNOW that she feels the same way.
Let it be, and if it's right, it'll flow.

 

This is a classic example of why men and women cannot just be "friends".

 

Of course men and women can be "just friends". Unless both parties are extremely maladjusted.

Sure, sexual tensions of one kind or another may develop between the two but it doesn't mean that they can't uphold a true, mature friendship.

 

The fact that sexual tensions arise, negates the whole friend concept in the first place. You shouldn't want to fuck your friends. I know I don't want to fuck my male friends. Yet every girl I've wanted as a friend ended up wanting to fuck me, or vice versa. It just doesn't work. If the guy or girl is full blown gay, then that changes things cause it removes the sexual tension all together. That's the only way it can work.

 

why can't someone be friends and fuck? i have friends that are girls that i don't want to fuck just because they are my friends but this is a special situation.

 

Actually, who says friends can't find one another to be sexually appealing in the first place? We are sexual by nature and that's how we should be as far as I'm concerned. Whether or not the actual sex takes place from that point onward is entirely up to the individuals in that particular friendship. Every friendship functions differently.

My female best friend knows I find her sexually attractive, and she and I have been friends for 10+ years. Just because friends are able to acknowledge one another's sexual beauty doesn't mean something more intimate HAS TO take place. And even if something happens, that doesn't necessarily mean it's the end of that friendship either.

 

No. Just because you can't handle a friendship with someone you think is attractive or vice-versa doesn't mean that nobody else can. No need to project your own hang-ups onto everyone else.

EDIT:

^This.

 

I'm not saying you can't fuck your friends... aparently lots of people do. But I consider true friendship to be a platonic thing (by my definition of the term). Fucking takes the relationship beyond the platonic level. If you're fucking your friend, then you have something other than a basic friendship with that person. I don't think anyone can deny that.

 

Let's cut the BS and be honest here... Tell me you wouldn't be fucking her right now if you had the opportunity and there would be no repercussions or complications on either parties side?

 

Oh really. I have a project for you. Go out and try to fuck everybody who you consider to be a "friend" and then see what happens with those relationships after all the dust settles. I'll bet you'll find out that all those "friends" you thought you had that could handle the sexual issues will give you a rude awakening.

 

Newsflash- not everyone shares your sexual issues and insecurities.

I am friends with females I'm attracted to and vice-versa but the relationships are strictly platonic because we're both mature enough to keep it so. I'm also friends with girls I've fucked because it's a stupid reason to not be friends. Of course to be fair, I've lost female friends because of sex as well but that hardly means that "guys and girls can't be friends".

It depends on the persons involved and your experience isn't universally applicable to everyone.